Take My Hand, Just Hold On

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Robert suggests as he puts a hand on the small of my back and leads me out to the living room.

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine,” I tell him.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind leaving.”

I nod, “I’m quite sure. You should drink more,” I suggest, walking over to the beer tub.

Robert cocks an eyebrow as he takes the beer I hand him, “You don’t seem very shaken by this.”

I smile lightly and hold out my shaking hand, “I am, but I would be at home as well,” I tell him.

He grabs my hand and brings it back down, keeping hold of it. “Fuck, I’ve completely lost faith in men,” he swears, dropping my hand and running his now free hand through his hair.

I was about to respond with “They’re not all so bad,” but was saved from making the potentially embarrassing statement by Brian entering the room.

“Brenna, I’m so sorry about that guy. I don’t even know him; a guy I invited from work brought him along… He’ll never be at another one of my parties, I can promise you that,” he says, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

From his somewhat terrified and rambling composure, I could only guess that Robert told him about James, and I didn’t really have a problem with that. “It’s fine, Brian. He didn’t get around to actually doing anything to me.”

“Jesus, I just feel really bad. I mean, what kind of person does that?”

“Beats me,” I say.



“So, you know my place has a few extra bedrooms, yeah?” Robert questions at breakfast the next morning. I nod, taking a bite of my pancake, thinking I knew where this was going, and hoping I was wrong. “Well, I was thinking, maybe, you could move in with me?” There it was, my hopes defeated.

I swallow before answering, “Robert, I really don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“Why not?” he asks, frowning.

“It’s your new place. Your own place, you know? You deserve to have a bit of privacy. Plus, I’ve got a year lease on this place that I doubt I’ll be able to get out of.”

“But you’re not happy here, are you? I mean, this place just serves as a big reminder of all the shit you’ve been through the last few months.”

I shrug, “It is, but I can deal with all that. Thank you for the offer, Robert, but it’s not one that I can take you up on.”

“Well, the offer is always there, just so you know. You can take me up on it if you ever need or want to,” he throws a half-smile my way as his sad eyes turn to his plate.

“Thanks.”



It’s now the weekend before Robert is moving out, and I have yet again been roped into going to another of Brian’s party. I shouldn’t say ‘roped in’, I agreed to come willingly. After what happened at the last party I was shaken up for a couple days, but with the help of Joan – my therapist – I was able to work through it, and then move on. Robert hesitantly asked if I wanted to come tonight, expecting a no but I figured he was right when he suggested I go to the last one: the only way I will truly become better is if I try. So, here I am, walking through Brian’s front door once more, trying.

Robert puts his hand on my lower back as I lead us to the back porch to where Brian was chatting with a couple girls. Brian waves as he sees us approaching, and Robert’s hand unfortunately leaves my back, leaving my skin feeling cold without the warmth of his touch. I close my eyes and shake my head lightly at my reaction to Robert’s withdrawn hand.

“Nice to see that that asshole last time didn’t scare you away for good, Brenna,” Brian says as we get within earshot.

I smile, “Oh, it’ll take a lot more than that to scare me away.”

“Good. Can I grab you a drink?”

I was about to say no, when Robert answers for me, “Of course she will.” Oh yeah, he is the designated driver tonight, as we agreed upon earlier. Even though I didn’t feel much like drinking.

“Fantastic. You’re driving, Rob?”

Robert nods, “Yeah. I might have just one beer right now, though.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back then. Oh, I’m rude. Brenna, this is Carla, and Viv; Carla, Viv, this is Brenna. You know Rob, right?”

They nod, and Carla says, “Hey, nice to meet you.”

I smile, “Likewise. How do you know Brian?”

“Vivian dated him ages ago,” Carla replies, exchanging a brief smile with Viv – or Vivian, who knows what she prefers at this point.

We talked for a couple minutes until Brian came back passing a beer to Robert and saying, “Sorry, I never actually asked you what kind of drink you wanted. I came up with a concoction filled with vodka, though. If you don’t like it, let me know.”

I take the red-ish coloured drink from him and take a surprisingly delicious sip. “Mmm,” I nod, taking another taste. “Thanks, Brian.”

“Hey, Brenna, we’ve been scoping out those lounge chairs for a few minutes, do you want to join us?”

I look to Robert, who smiles and gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Alright, sure. See you later, boys,” I say, following Carla and Viv down the few steps to the end of the pool where the chairs were at.