Status: Complete

Before the Fall

Ch. 16

The next day, when Faye was fully recovered, Nace gave her two thousand dollars. “It should be enough to cover whatever expenses come your way, for a time. If you need any more, just call me. Don’t hesitate to.”

Just yesterday, this would have been unthinkable for him, letting her go. Even pushing her out the door. But the thought of her leaving hurt him so much that he thought he would be more miserable if he had any more time to think about it. A clean break would hurt the least, or so he hoped.

Faye knew that there were tears in her eyes as she took the money. As much as she hated it, hated needing it, and hated more taking so much from him and being unable to give him anything but pain in return, she couldn’t afford to refuse. And she knew that Nace didn’t want her here anymore. She saw the pain in his eyes whenever he so much as looked at her.

And Faye didn’t want to hurt him anymore. It was time she got going. She handed him the cell phone and the keys to her car. She wouldn’t be able to keep them anymore. She’d already bought a junker and settled on a monthly rate on an apartment half an hour away. She had a pay-as-you-go phone, which she didn’t tell him about. She didn’t want him to think about her anymore. She needed him to forget, and she knew that if she gave him her phone number, he would think about calling her too much, and be unable to move on for that much longer. She owed him the most painless farewell she could manage, and a clean break was the way to do it, she thought.

So, no contact.

But gosh, she would miss him. “I guess I’ll be going, then. Good bye,” Faye said. She stood on her toes so that she could reach better, kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. She pulled away before any of the tears leaking out of her eyes could drip onto him. She couldn’t let him know how much this hurt.

But it felt like her heart was being ripped to shreds. She got into her piece of crap car and drove off. Once she was sure he couldn’t see her anymore, she pulled over and had herself a good crying jag.

Then she drove away, determined to put this behind her.

***

Logan was worried about Faye. In the four months that had passed since she’d left the Hillard mansion, she had drawn into herself. She didn’t laugh, she didn’t joke. She didn’t speak unless spoken to. She just was.

He could tell that she was doing the best she could, but it wasn’t enough. And nothing he’d tried had made her any better. He’d tried taking her to a psychologist, but Faye wouldn’t speak to the woman beyond saying that she was fine, just fine. He tried talking to her, himself, but she insisted that she was okay. Heck, he’d even taken her bungee jumping, to try to get a little emotion out of her- thrill, terror, anything was better than this blankness!

But she’d just jumped and fallen, with her arms pinned to her sides and her eyes shut, her hair streaming behind her, like some beautiful falling angel.

And Logan started to lose any hope of her recovering. He should have tried harder, he thought, to make her see that pride wasn’t worth throwing her chance at happiness away for.

Another month passed, and Faye was still struggling to keep her grip on reality. She hurt less these days, and wanted to feel better. She really did.

She started to put more effort into normalcy. She went walking on the beach, because nature had always made her feel better, and because she thought that she could empathize better than ever with the crashing waves. They were a comfort to her.

While she walked barefoot on the scorching hot sand, relishing the feeling, she fiddled with her small golden bracelet. She took it off only to clean it and when she was showering or sleeping. She loved looking at the way the sun caught the jewels, setting blazing glints off in every direction. And so it was that Faye didn’t see him until she’d walked right into him.