Life on Mars

*Eliza’s POV*

For the first time ever I wasn’t enjoying New York. No, I don’t particularly like the city, but I can’t deny that in a weird way all those years of living here had forced it to grow on me in the most unique way possible: I love to hate it.

It was my second home the first few years after I left Florida, because I’d still considered Miami home for a long time after that. Once enough time went by New York became the only home I knew. Then I moved to Los Angeles and once again, New York took a backseat.

But this time it was only because I knew I’d never be back.

I actually had no reason to move to Los Angeles in the first place. What started as an idea that I eventually thought would have a reason, never really did. I simply had the means, the curiosity, and the nerve for it. Violet thought it was a crazy idea right up until my last night here. That was when she told me that she envied my taste for chaos. I’d laughed and embraced her, then told her that with wordplay like that she could be a writer.

However, my beloved cousin prefers numbers, not words. As a Certified Public Accountant, with degrees in accounting and business, she’s the Director of Finance for Michael Kors, New York. She also has the most fantastic wardrobe I’ve ever seen and she lets me wear anything I want when I’m in town.

Violet Granger is two years my senior but bubbly enough to be mistaken for an optimistic twenty-something. She and Presley have the same personality: cheerful, full of jokes and laughter, and just a little too pushy for me sometimes. The first time I ever saw them sitting side by side it became frighteningly clear why it had been so easy for Presley and I to become such fast friends.

Our mothers are sisters, and not surprisingly, hate one another’s guts. When we were ten we made a pact that we would never allow eachother to turn into the bitter women we were forced to see every day. We made it a game – we had to – because if we acknowledged the horror of it all, it would just swallow us whole and sweep us away to a place of anger and resentment from which there is no return. Violet and I didn’t want to know what that place was like.

We are both optimists at heart. Since the day we were old enough to talk on the phone, Violet was the person I would call to share all of my good news with. I could tell her about my ideas, my hopes, my dreams, and my fears. When things didn’t feel right in my life, she was my shoulder to cry on in times of despair. I played the same role in her life. There was nothing that either of us could ever say, do, or think, that the other thought was ridiculous or far-fetched. I have always been convinced that Violet, along with my inexplicable drive to succeed, is the only reason I’ve accomplished anything remotely worthy in my lifetime. Without her encouragement I’m not sure where I would be.

Violet grew up in upstate New York, and the second the turned 18 she broke free and headed for New York City. She got an apartment, two part-time jobs to pay the bills, and began to work her way through college. She spent the next two years telling me I should join her. When I turned 18, I did. I packed up my car, emptied out every bank account my parents had ever opened in my name, and left Miami as quickly as humanly possible. My parents were livid but…I didn’t care. In their eyes I hadn’t done anything right anyway, so I decided that I just couldn’t be bothered with trying to impress them anymore. I was free. Free and alive.

And I’d never felt better.

When I look back on those two years of working, classes, and some of the biggest personal changes taking place inside of me, I always remember that I really found myself then. I was always a quiet child, never causing trouble and always making good grades, and those qualities stayed with me throughout junior high and high school. As I drove out of Miami the summer after graduation and headed towards a new life, I realized I was also heading towards a new perspective. The world was my oyster, and within it, my perfect pearl. It was somewhere out there just waiting for me to find it…

Right around the time I finished culinary school, Violet was recruited straight out of college to work for a wealthy law firm. By midsummer she’d moved us into a ridiculously large apartment in Tribeca and I’d dropped off an application for New York University’s undergraduate English program. I’d already gotten a job working at a restaurant in the Upper East Side, and I loved it, but it wasn’t long after I started working there that I realized every notebook I owned was filled with ideas for novels. I’d always loved writing, and even though I’d decided to pursue a career in the culinary field, something in me clicked and I thought…why not? Why not try to do the thing I’ve always wanted to, deep down inside, and stop pretending as if I could settle for anything less? Upon this admission, Violet simply smiled softly and shrugged. “No reason not to,” she’d agreed.

And now…here I am.

Here I am, surrounded by the high ceilings and orange-pink coral colored walls of my bedroom. The walls that are covered in artsy posters we’d snagged from buildings and bulletin boards all over Tribeca. The walls that are covered in photographs and magazine clippings that have inspired me. The walls that have definitions of words and lists of synonyms for words too commonly used. When I think of my childhood and I think of growing up, this is what I prefer to think of. This is what made me into who I am today…

I wandered over to the window of my bedroom and gazed down at the bustling streets far below. I was alone tonight and I welcomed the solitude. Holden and Violet had gone to a small bar around the corner, a place we frequented when we were together, for karaoke night. They’d tried to talk me into going with them, but I was still tired and disoriented from running around nonstop since arriving. Holden was more resilient than me when it came to that kind of thing. He lived for packed schedules and there was no travel arrangement on earth that could ever cause him to lose his cool. I was initially drawn to his personality, but adored him for his professionalism and the fact that each quality only seemed to enhance the other.

My reverie was suddenly interrupted by the harsh vibrations of my cell phone ringer against my desktop. I went over to it and looked down, surprised to see Jared’s name. I’d called him earlier, just as promised, but it went straight to voicemail both times. He never, ever had his phone off.

I connected the call and pressed the phone to my ear. “Hey, where have you been?” I asked. I could hear a distinct, slight echo in the background that sounded vaguely familiar.

“Sorry,” he sighed, his voice unusually exhausted. “I was…doing something. I would’ve called you back earlier but…then I was doing something else. Now I’m free so…hi.”

I frowned. “So…I leave town and you disappear off the face of the earth for almost an entire afternoon? That’s not exactly like you, Jared. I’ve never once seen your phone off in the entire month I’ve known you.”

“Is that suspicion I hear in your voice?” He mused.

“It might be,” I grimaced. “But would you blame me if it were?”

“I certainly would not,” he answered. “I’d like to do something that will alleviate your suspicion, though.”

I sighed to myself. Jared Leto and his brilliant ideas. “Let’s hear it,” I finally said.

“Okay, hang on one second.”

I rolled my eyes when it sounded like the phone was being covered. Then I heard muffled voices, followed by a long pause, and my frown only deepened.

“Ms. West?”

I blinked. “Rudy?” I choked out.

Rudy was the night shift security guard in our apartment building. He had the most inviting chocolate brown eyes and infectious smile…But wait, if Rudy was on Jared’s phone then that meant…

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughed softly. “This young man, Mr. Leto, says that he’s here to see you. Shall I let him on up?”

“Rudy.” This time I stated it instead of asking.

He laughed again. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Stop calling me Ms. West. You’ve known me for over ten years. And yes, you can let him up. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

There was another long pause, another exchange of words, and then Jared came back on the line.

“Suspicion officially neutralized?” He asked playfully.

I couldn’t fight the grin that broke out on my face as I darted from the room and raced to the front door. “Yes,” I replied as I moved. “Completely.”

“Good. Ninth floor?”

“Yes,” I repeated. I could hardly get the word out.

“Okay. See you in a few.”

He hung up before I could respond. I pulled the door open and anxiously stepped out into the hallway. With only two apartments on each floor he really had only one opportunity to end up at the wrong door, and even though he clearly knew where he was going, I still needed to see him the second the elevator doors opened to believe it.

I held my breath as I watched the glowing numbers above the frame slowly climb, silently urging them to climb faster, until the doors slid open and he raised his slate blue eyes to meet mine. He looked gorgeous in a gray pea coat, a federal blue scarf, and a black military cap that effectively hid his long hair and unmistakable chiseled features beneath the rim.

He was so unbelievably exquisite that it was almost painfully blinding to look at him. No one should ever look as good as he does with so little effort. It was a damn sin.

“Well,” he breathed as he stepped out into the hallway with a duffel bag draped over his shoulder. “Here you are.”

“Here you are,” I whispered in return.

He smiled gently and began to advance forward. I met him halfway and crashed into him, nearly knocking him over as I leapt up into his arms and locked my legs around his body. He laughed as I covered his face in kisses, wrapping his arms around me while still moving towards the open apartment door.

“Such a lovely reaction from a woman that hates surprises,” he whispered. I could still hear the smile in his voice.

“Shut up,” I whispered back in his ear, laughing lightly. “I missed you so much…”

“Me too,” he returned. “More than you could ever know…”

We entered the apartment then, and although we moved our arms momentarily, me to push the door shut and he to drop his bag onto the floor, we never let go of one another. We were kissing so fiercely that eventually one of us would have to come up for air.

He was the first.

“Is anyone else here?” He asked huskily, his lips grazing mine. “Or…were you planning on staying like this all night?”

“Well now that you mention it…” I laughed as I placed a tender trail of kisses from his ear to his jawline.

“Please don’t get me started,” he laughed, pulling away just enough to look into my eyes.

I smirked devilishly at him and slowly dropped my legs until my feet hit the floor. “No one else is here,” I reassured him. “Holden and Vi are at karaoke down the street and they won’t be stumbling in until after the bar closes.”

His face looked blank for a moment as he glanced around the apartment. Then he nodded. “Okay then. Up you go.”

“Yesss,” I hissed contently, letting him lift me so that I could wrap my legs around him once again. I motioned dramatically down the hallway with a wave of my hand. “First room on the left, oh chariot.”

He gripped me tighter as he moved across the apartment, his eyes shifting from object to object as he took it all in. “This place is massive,” he said incredulously. “I’ve never seen so much artwork. What exactly does your cousin do for a living again?”

“She’s in charge of where all the money goes to and from over at Michael Kors,” I answered as we neared the hallway. “And she has more of a taste for art than you and I combined.”

“I can see that,” he nodded. We entered my bedroom then, and once again he took in our surroundings. “Wow. It’s so…colorful.”

I chuckled into his shoulder as he climbed up onto the bed and set me down, never breaking the embrace. Even though he was sprawled out on top of me and I’d knocked his hat off his head, he was still too preoccupied with my busy room.

“It’s almost overwhelming,” he said absently. “It’s like…your office back in Santa Monica but…not.” He finally brought his gaze back to me. “So this is you ten years ago, hmm?”

I shrugged. “I guess but…I’d say it’s more like me turned inside out, you know? Lungs and heart and…brain and…every muscle hidden beneath my skin.”

Jared seemed to like this, because he smiled softly. “So you’re saying that if I read these walls…I might gain some insight as to who you really are inside?”

I shrugged again. “Maybe. But…maybe not.”

He laughed and unwound himself from my arms to climb off the bed again. “I think I’ll take my chances,” he returned.

I rolled over onto my side, watching as he began to walk the perimeter of the room. He seemed to examine each photograph, magazine clipping, and scrap piece of paper with words scrawled across it with unabashed interest. There were few things I’d seen him give that much attention to.

“So…what are you doing here anyway?” I asked conversationally. “I mean…what made you decide to come to New York?”

He grinned over his shoulder at me knowingly. “You. Why else would I be here?”

“No, I know, it’s just…we talked and~”

“I know what we said,” he interrupted. “But that doesn’t change the fact that for one moment, you almost sounded like you needed me. I guess I just wanted to entertain the idea that that was truly the case.”

We were both silent as we stared at one another, and when a long minute passed and I still hadn’t confirmed nor denied his observation, he turned to face the wall again. He continued to skirt the perimeter of the room as he slid out of his coat and draped it over my desk chair. The scarf followed shortly thereafter.

And still he kept examining everything he saw. I wondered if perhaps he was trying to find something in between it all…

I couldn’t believe he was right there, only five feet away from me, wandering around a room I wasn’t sure he’d ever even see. I felt so conflicted inside. I was in New York to work, and I’d been reminding myself at least a dozen times a day that time apart was a good thing, but when those elevator doors opened it was like I had tunnel vision straight to him.

When had I ever felt so strongly for someone before?

It was only when the bed bounced lightly that I realized Jared had climbed back up onto it. I tilted my head towards him just as he slid up next to me. He pressed his lips to mine, cradling my face, and before I knew it we were tangled up together and his hands were sliding up underneath my shirt.

“Wait wait,” I laughed whole-heartedly as I pushed them away. “Don’t you want me to show you around? Don’t you want some food or a shower or something?”

Jared stared at me blankly.

“Do plane rides make you horny?” I asked as seriously as I could.

This he couldn’t take. He burst out laughing and buried his face in my shoulder. “Okay, maybe a shower,” he relented. “And you can show me around later but thank you, I’m not hungry right now. My main concern, my only concern, is being with you.”

“Well you’re here,” I grinned. “And…since we’re home alone, if you want to take a shower and saunter around naked, now would be the perfect opportunity.”

He lifted his head from my shoulder and cocked an eyebrow quizzically. “Is that a request or merely a suggestion?” He asked.

“Suggestion,” I clarified. “One I wouldn’t mind.”

“Got it,” he nodded. He quickly slid off the bed and began to make his way to the doorway.

“Where are you going?” I shouted as he entered the hallway.

“To get my bag!” He shouted back. “You’re going to have to show me where the bathroom is. This place is so big that I might need a damn map.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I climbed off the bed and crossed the hallway. “You don’t need a map; it’s right across from my bedroom,” I informed him amusingly. I flipped on the overhead light and pulled a large white towel out of the linen closet to hang up next to the shower. Jared stepped into the bathroom then, already shoeless and shirtless, and I could feel him watching me as I turned the shower on. “Why are you staring at me?” I asked as I stuck my hand under the spray to gauge the temperature of the water.

“I was wondering if maybe…you were interested in joining me,” he answered quietly as he set his bag down.

I felt my shoulders stiffen immediately, and I pulled my hand out of the shower. I turned slowly to face him, unable to bring my eyes to his, and cleared my throat. “I should probably keep an eye out for H and Vi, just in case they decide to come back early.” I started to move towards the doorway but Jared deftly blocked my path.

“Eliza…” He whispered. “I’m not trying to rush anything. You know I’m not. It doesn’t have to be like that. Everything’s perfect just the way it is right now.”

I felt my eyelids slide close at his words. Yes, they were as perfect as they could be at the moment, but we both knew it could be...more. I was positive that the only reason we’d managed to resist sleeping together thus far wasn’t because we weren’t ready, but because we were afraid it would be too good. Humans are carnal by nature and once they cross that line there’s just no coming back. I don’t think either of us wanted to feel like we’d gone too far. I think we liked knowing there was still something to look forward to.

Or maybe that was just me.

When his fingertips began to caress my cheek I opened my eyes again. This time I braved it and looked up at him. He emanated nothing but calm.

“Talk to me,” he said, his blue eyes soft on mine. “Say something, anything.”

“You make me a little uneasy sometimes, that’s all,” I returned quickly. “There’s no point in hiding that fact. I’m sure you can see it written all over my face.”

He smiled crookedly at me and shook his head. “Honestly…I see what you want me to see. I’m just not always sure how to interpret it.”

“Not even now?” I asked.

“Especially not now,” he answered. “It’s like this…wave of vulnerability washes over you and…I don’t know if you want me to step back and let it pass or…meet you halfway.”

I sighed reflexively. “Neither do I,” I admitted. I broke my gaze from his and nodded over my shoulder. “Go ahead and get in the shower. You don’t want the water to get cold.”

And he didn’t respond as I slipped out of the bathroom and pulled the door shut behind me.