Life on Mars

*Eliza's POV*

It was nearing four o'clock in the afternoon by the time I was riding the elevator down to the base floor of the Random House Tower. Holden and I had parted ways thirty minutes prior, he to retrieve coffee from the Starbucks around the corner and check his voicemails and emails, and me to finish up signing some paperwork after our meeting with the marketing department.

We'd spent the entire day in meetings with powerful, successful, and influential people. These people supported me without question, this much I was sure of, but we both knew that they all knew about my budding relationship with a certain someone. Initially I felt as if they were all keeping some big secret for me, but as the day wore on and my comfort level adjusted to where it should be with people I didn't see regularly, I realized they were simply being respectful of my decisions.

And for the millionth time in my career I embraced the knowledge that Random House would always be my home. It was one of the few copacetic relationships I'd ever had in my life...

The elevator doors slid open and my eyes immediately met Holden's blue orbs. He smiled broadly at me, handing me the covered paper cup as I stepped out onto the marble floors.

“What?” I asked curiously, taking a careful sip of the hot liquid. “Why are you grinning like that?”

“Because you are,” he returned. “You were smiling to yourself. I saw it the second the doors opened.”

I chuckled, reaching up to briefly touch my face with my free hand. “I guess I'm just relieved,” I sighed, then dropped it and linked my arm with his. “I asked Presley to keep an eye out today and text me if there was any indication that the press knew Jared was here. I didn't hear from her. And...no one said anything. Not even that girl in public relations with the 30 Seconds to Mars calendar pinned up in her cubicle.”

Holden snorted with laughter, and together we waved goodbye to Shirley, the lobby receptionist, as we made our way out of the building. The driver of the waiting black sedan opened the back door for us and I climbed in first, then Holden got in beside me.

“So...I'm a tad worried,” I commented once the driver got in and we pulled away from the curb.

Holden turned to me. “About what?”

“Well...Jared skillfully avoided answering my question about whether or not they took scissors to his hair, too,” I explained. “I'm worried he's gonna have some massive pink mohawk or something.”

He chuckled whole-heartedly. “Would it matter even if he did? Would you suddenly digress and refuse to date him?”

I laughed and shook my head. “No, but I'd certainly reconsider allowing myself to be seen in public with him.”

Holden smirked. “So...it hasn't hit you that you're dating a rockstar yet?”

I laughed again and threw my free hand up helplessly. “No, I guess not,” I joked. “Maybe I should get a mohawk and start wearing skinny jeans.”

“Good Lord, please don't,” Holden groaned with amusement. “I'd fire myself just so I didn't have to be seen in public with you.” Then suddenly his eyes twinkled with inspiration. “Hey wait, lets all dress up as Jared Leto for Halloween this year.”

I couldn't resist. I began to roar with laughter, calming down only for a few seconds to say, “I thought we agreed that I was going as a housewife!”

Holden's eyes lit up again, even brighter than before, and he kept laughing. “Right, even better. Jared Leto as himself and you as his obedient housewife. It'll be brilliant!”

I groaned and slapped my hand against my forehead, willing away all of the undesirable images that flooded my mind. Envisioning myself as someone's wife was difficult enough, but as someone's housewife? Impossible. Just as impossible as me being a mother.

****

Forty-five minutes later I barged through my bedroom door, heaving a massive sigh of relief when I saw Jared's untouched head of hair. He was sitting up against the headboard of my bed, feet crossed at the ankles, with his laptop situated in his lap.

“I once read an article that said the heat from a laptop can kill sperm,” I informed him nonchalantly, kicking off my heels and nudging them to the side.

Jared laughed and looked up at me. “What do you care?” He smirked. “And why did you come barreling into the room?”

But Holden's voice rang out before I could reply. “I didn't hear a blood-curdling scream. Does that mean he doesn't have a pink mohawk?!”

My eyes never left Jared's. “No pink mohawk!” I shouted over my shoulder.

Jared laughed again as I slid out of my jacket and dropped both that and my purse onto the foot of the bed. “Did you really think I'd come back with a pink mohawk?” He mused.

“The thought may have crossed my mind...” I shrugged dismissively. “You didn't really answer the question when I asked.”

“You're a beautiful, intelligent, but silly woman,” he shook his head, still smiling. “So did you see Violet?”

“I did,” I nodded, sitting down beside him. “I dig the long bangs. And word is she wants to show it off tonight, so Holden's making 7:00 dinner reservations at City Winery as we speak. Are you okay with that? It's not far from here.”

Jared nodded in return. “I'm more than okay with that,” he reassured me. “I think the more important question is are you okay with that? You're here for work, Eliza. If it gets leaked to the press that I'm here, they'll put two and two together. God only knows what you have booked for the next couple of days. I don't want you to get slammed with questions like you were on The View.”

I leaned forward and softly pressed my lips to his. “It's okay,” I whispered when I pulled away, my face still close. I then motioned down to his laptop with my eyes. “Work?” I questioned.

He tipped his head slightly to the side. “Kind of,” he answered. “I was just checking my email. Shannon said Virgin wants to sit down for negotiations.”

I moved away so that I could see him more clearly. His tone was distressed. “And this is a bad thing?” I guessed.

“No,” he shrugged uneasily. “It's just that we tried that once before and it just made things worse.” He glanced down at the screen, staring at it for a long moment before moving the device to the side. “But...it's thirty million dollars, Eli. That's a lot of money.”

“So then do it,” I concluded. “From what you've told me, it can't get much worse than it is right now. You might as well keep trying to improve the situation. The way I see it, things can only go up from here.”

Jared seemed to think it over, reaching out to rest his left hand on my thigh, and calmly shutting down his laptop with his right hand. His thumb was rubbing gentle circles against the fabric of my dress as we patiently watched the screen go dark, and the power lights cease to glow.

“You're right,” he suddenly agreed quietly. “It's what Shann and Tomo want anyway. I'm the one being the asshole.”

I placed my hands on top of his and squeezed. “You're not being an asshole,” I reassured him. “You're being stubborn. Sometimes there's a difference.”

Jared chuckled, lifting his eyes to mine and raising his eyebrows. “Sometimes?” He retorted.

“Yes,” I nodded curtly. “For instance, you having conviction about this situation, that's being stubborn, but that's not being an asshole. Me being stubborn and wanting nothing to do with you when we first met? I was definitely being an asshole.”

He laughed again, scooting forward to wrap his arms around my waist and firmly press his lips to mine. “I disagree,” he countered. “You weren't being an asshole. You're guarded and you just...have an idea about where your life is headed. Most people don't have a clue.”

I laughed in response and pulled away, standing up from the bed to take my cell phone out of my purse and attach it to the charger on my desk. “Then stop trying to fuck up the plan,” I scolded him playfully.

Jared scoffed and rolled his eyes at me. He was smiling, so I knew he was remaining just as playful and objective as me. “It's a bad plan,” he protested. “Come to think of it, thinking marriage is a total joke actually kind of...makes you an asshole.”

“Ha ha ha,” I said snarkily, flipping open my planner. “You're just sooooo funny.”

“Oh I've been told,” he mused.

We exchanged a jovial grin as he climbed up off the bed and began to put his laptop away. I paused long enough to look up from my schedule and toss an idea out there.

“So...wanna take a shower together?” I asked tentatively. “We've got plenty of time before we have to leave for dinner.”

I had to fight to suppress a chortle when he nearly dropped his laptop and looked up at me with astonishment.

“Teasing also makes you an asshole,” he informed me. “Do you really wanna keep this up?”

“Come on, I'm serious,” I smiled. “I'll even get in first. That way it's all you if you really don't believe me. And we both know you'll join me.”

He pretended to think it over as he finished packing up his things, and once he placed his carrier off to the side he looked up at me again. “Fine,” he relented, arching one eyebrow at me in amusement. “But only if we can do eachother's hair afterwards.”

“Deal,” I nodded with a chuckle. I grabbed our towels from the back of my bedroom door and marched across the hallway to the bathroom. I could hear Violet and Holden conversing while watching some comedy on television as I hung the two towels up next to the shower.

“Babe, your phone's vibrating!” Jared announced from my bedroom.

I stepped into the bathroom doorway, able to see the device sitting on the edge of my desk. “Can you check and see who it is?” I asked, slipping off my watch.

Within seconds I saw Jared approach it, peering down at the screen as he pulled off his long-sleeved shirt. “It's someone named Lorelei.”

I grimaced, my shoulders and neck instantly tensing. Impeccable timing, as usual. “Just let it go to voicemail,” I told him, hoping he wouldn't notice my clipped tone. “I'll call her back later.”

But I wouldn't. I never really did.

****

Jared Leto had officially seen me naked. There were no sexy little boy shorts or lacy thongs that I could tantalizingly hide the last parts of my body behind in the shower.

And I was completely content with this knowledge.

Whatever we felt for one another had surely doubled since then, almost like a post-coital glow. Somehow, someway, we'd grown closer by fully exposing our bodies, despite not having sex. I knew by the way I gripped his hand the entire walk to the restaurant. I knew by the way he leaned over to whisper something, then pressed a featherlight kiss to my cheek. I knew by the way I reached out to push a strand of dark hair out of his slate blue eyes so that nothing would obstruct my view of them. I knew by the way his left hand stayed wedged between my crossed legs under the table.

I won't lie. It was difficult not to wrap myself around him, and I could tell that it was just as difficult for him. But words weren't needed. There was a silent understanding between us that when the time was right, we'd be at home, in his bed or mine. Three thousand miles away, in a place that only I could consider home, was certainly not acceptable.

How can I possibly explain how it feels to share myself with someone without any act being part of the equation? It's like...waiting for the sun to come up over the horizon. Because you're anticipating it, it seems to take forever. Patience is so key. And you watch the neon orange stretching out from each side, burning brighter as it gets closer, teasing you, beckoning to you. And just when you think you can't take it anymore, it peeks out just the slightest bit, like heaven waving hello. And then all of a sudden it's racing towards you, eager to show itself, eager to be admired and loved and soaked up. The brightness of beauty blinds you, illuminating everything. You forget your frustration at having waited so long, and instead you bask in what is now.

And never before has a sunrise seemed quite like this.

Every trace of fear I'd felt involving our inevitable love-making had been erased. Yes, I still liked knowing there was yet another aspect of our relationship to look forward to, but I no longer felt like we were holding back. I think most people feel that way until after they sleep with someone – but Jared and I had skipped that step and instead ran headfirst into this ethereal intensity. The craziest part was that I didn't mind it.

After we'd gotten out of the shower, we returned to my room and quietly helped one another get ready. He playfully tried to distract me with kisses while I slid his belt through the loops of his jeans, and I kept my eyes cemented to his as he secured diamond studs to my ears and a matching necklace around my neck. It was all very slow and romantic, like undressing eachother in reverse. My skin could still clearly recall the sensation of his warm hands upon it. It was maddening and electrifying, all at the same time...

I let my gaze casually drift to my right, smiling gently at the sight of Jared and Violet laughing about something together. I wasn't sure what. I'd barely been paying attention to the conversation. I was lost in thought within twenty minutes of sitting down.

I was just about to try zoning in on the content when I felt a soft nudge against my foot. My eyes snapped to Holden's and he smiled, motioning to something behind me with a nod of his head. I frowned and glanced over my shoulder, my eyes widening at the familiar figure ascending the short set of steps leading to the VIP area.

“Charlie!” I exclaimed. I promptly jumped up out of my seat and threw myself into the open arms of my favorite bartender. “The hostess said you weren't working tonight!”

The ever-youthful looking, disheveled honey blonde-haired man chuckled in response. “I'm not,” he said as he pulled away, reaching forward to shake Holden's hand. “But sadly enough, I'm here on my night off. I blame a friend that's visiting from out of town.”

“Oooo, lady friend?” Violet cooed as she stood up just enough to exchange a kiss on the cheek with him.

Charlie chuckled again and shook his head. “No, I've pretty much given up on the dating scene. This is an old college friend.” He then turned his attention to Jared. “You must be Jared,” he smiled, shaking his hand. “I'm Charlie Boyd. I bartend here.”

“So I gathered,” Jared laughed. “Nice to meet you, Charlie.”

“Likewise,” Charlie returned. His warm brown eyes casually drifted back to mine. “So...I hate to ask but...can I steal you for ten minutes? My friend is a complete bookworm and I happened to notice he has your last novel with him. I'd love to introduce you to him. The fact that you're even here tonight is just too ironic...”

I sighed dramatically, pretending as if he was asking me for some massive, grandiose favor, which only served to prove that he wasn't. He grinned brilliantly and grabbed my hand, beginning to pull me away from the table.

“I promise we won't be long,” he informed the table, and I could swear he mostly directed his words at Jared. I knew I was right when Charlie slipped his arm around my shoulders the moment we descended the steps and leaned into me. “Jared Leto, hmm?” He questioned amusingly. “I can't quite say I saw that one coming.”

I laughed easily. “Trust me, no one is more surprised than I am.” I slipped my own arm around his waist and drew him closer. “I'm glad you're here,” I smiled at him. “It's good to see you.”

“It's good to see you, too,” he nodded in agreement. “It's been too long.”

As we neared the main bar, Charlie and I dropped our affectionate grip on one another and his eyes began wandering around. A young girl with black hair behind the bar noticed and tried to get his attention. I tapped him lightly and pointed to her.

“He went outside to take a phone call,” she informed him, speaking loudly over the sound of friendly banter and glasses clinking. “He said he'd be right back.”

“Thanks,” he said gratefully. He turned to me and shook his head. “Workaholic, that guy. Takes a week off and what does he do? Takes a business call the second I step away from him.”

I had to laugh heartily at that. “How do you know it's a business call?” I retorted. “Maybe it's his girlfriend.”

Charlie scoffed. “With the exception of friends and his daughter, zero personal life. He's single and his daughter is with her play group at the moment. He spoke to her on the way here. Therefore, it's definitely work-related.”

“Oh so he's relationship-retarded like the rest of us?” I mused.

“Who are you to talk? You're dating a superstar,” he pointed out. “Who, by the way, looks rather enamored with you. I saw you three months ago and you were singing the same tune of 'single for life.' What the fuck happened?”

“What happened is he's not a prick,” I answered. “Astonishing, I know, but very true. I've lived in L.A. for two years and I've met a lot of celebrities, but this guy...I don't know...he's different.”

Charlie studied my face cautiously. “Are we talking 'L-word'?”

I shrugged nonchalantly, suddenly missing the warmth of Jared's hand. The spot on my thigh where it had been suddenly felt cold and I almost shivered. “Maybe,” I finally admitted. “But not yet.”

He snorted. “Maybe not for you, but that guy,” he jerked a thumb in the direction of my table, “is done.”

I laughed and waved a dismissive hand out, as if the notion were preposterous. Charlie laughed in return, and while for a second he looked as if he were going to playfully argue with me, something over my shoulder stopped him.

“Ah,” he said instead with a sigh of relief. “There he is.”

I casually glanced over my shoulder, following Charlie's gaze, and scanned the double door entrance where several people were mulling around. I didn't see anyone in particular heading our way, so I started to turn back to Charlie to ask what his friend looked like, but suddenly the face beneath a deep auburn head of hair came into view. My gray eyes met his golden yellow hazel eyes and recognition permeated the air between us.

The room seemed to go silent and the door to my past, to our past, flew screaming open. And it was the only sound I could hear.

I blanched upon this realization, my mouth falling open the slightest bit in both denial and horror. My breath hitched in my lungs and he froze, his cell phone-filled hand paused halfway between his ear and the pocket of his jeans. Neither of us could believe it.

The sound of Charlie's voice shouting for him finally brought us back to Earth. “Aslan!”

Aslan snapped into motion again, and I watched as he slid his cell phone into his pocket, his gaze landing everywhere but on me and Charlie as he closed the gap between us. I knew we were both trying to figure out how to process this unexpected situation.

Time had always been kind to him, and it was astonishing how he looked even better with age. More distinguished, more seasoned, more resilient. He'd weathered many storms throughout his life, and although the pain occasionally passed freely through his eyes, when he smiled, his unbreakable spirit shone through.

I'd never been proud to be one source of his pain. But I was glad to see that Aslan King had changed very little. He wasn't the kind of person that needed to change.

He stopped a couple of feet in front of us, forcing a tiny smirk as he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well,” he said, his smooth tenor struggling as his eyes landed on mine again. “Hello.”

“Aslan King, this is Eliza West,” Charlie beamed, stepping up to my right, oblivious to what was going on. “I told her you were a fan.”

We both hesitated, silently asking one another if we were really going to do this. It seemed yes.

Aslan broke our gaze and turned to Charlie, smiling broadly at his friend. “Yes, that's true.” He then held out his hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. West. I'm looking forward to your new novel.”

I had to fight the grimace. I envied his fucking composure. But I shook his hand anyway, a hand I'd held on hundreds of occasions, and went along with the charade. “Thank you. Pleased to meet you as well,” I smiled. “And call me Eliza.”

“Eliza,” he nodded. “I saw you on The View yesterday. I take it you're in town for promotional reasons?”

I nodded in return. “How about you? Charlie said you're visiting from out of town. Where are you from?”

Truth be told, I genuinely wanted to know the answer to this question. Last I knew, he was living in Boston.

“San Francisco,” he answered slowly, and I could tell he was gauging my response. “I used to live in Boston but...I took a job offer on the West Coast and...it's where my daughter and I have been ever since.”

I was just about to ask him what he did for a living, which I already knew the answer to, when Charlie let out a holler beside me. He'd spotted someone nearby and shouted hello to them.

“Hey, I'm gonna let you two pick eachother's brains, okay?” He chuckled. “I'm gonna go say hi to some friends. I'll be right back.”

Aslan and I didn't say a word. We merely nodded in agreement and watched Charlie wander away, already shouting to his friends again. Both Aslan's eyes and my own wandered around the establishment for a long moment. To say the feeling that was burning between us was awkwardness wouldn't be accurate. It was merely that we hadn't quite recovered from the shock of seeing one another yet.

He surprised me by taking a small step forward, tipping his head towards me and speaking quietly enough so that only I could hear him. “I'm not sure what to say...” He admitted with a sigh. “I'm not the kind of person to make a scene but...after everything that's happened...”

With another sigh, he moved away from me again. I watched the way his jaw shifted ever so slightly, and then I let my eyes meet his. “We should talk,” he then suggested, his tone taking on an edge of urgency.

I slowly shook my head. “Now's not the time,” I returned gently. “I'm here with Holden, Eliza and Jared. I stepped away only for a moment and-”

“Who the hell do you think you're fooling?” Aslan interrupted, his voice cool and calm but still laced with anger. “You're gonna take off tonight just like you did that summer, just like you did back in college, just like you did when we were kids. I know the way you play the game better than anyone, Eliza, so spare me your bullshit.”

I could feel my fists balling at my sides. When it really came down to it, Aslan was the only man I'd ever truly considered physically harming.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and willing myself to stay calm. “Fine,” I said as I exhaled and opened my eyes once again. “I'll be in New York until Saturday. Jared's leaving Friday. The best I can do is Friday evening. I refuse to do this right now.” I held out my right hand. “Let me see your cell phone.”

Aslan frowned, but obliged anyway by pulling the small device out of his pocket and placing it in the palm of my hand. I slid it open and quickly typed in several phone numbers. When I was through I handed it back to him.

“I've programmed my cell phone number, Holden's cell phone number, and Violet's home phone number into your phone,” I explained. “If you don't believe me, go ahead and dial any one of them right now and listen to the voicemail that picks up.”

He stared down at the phone and I went on.

“I have my faults, but I've never lied to you,” I reminded him. “Even you know that.”

With those final words, I twisted away from him with the intention of walking away, but his hand landed on my arm almost immediately. I reluctantly paused. “What?” I questioned impatiently without looking at him.

“Lorelei's in town,” he informed me hesitantly. My gaze snapped towards his and his warm eyes filled with sympathy. “We're having lunch tomorrow.”

I forced a bitter laugh, shaking my head in denial all the while. “Well that explains why she called me,” I said. “But it would figure, right? My mother still talks to the ex-boyfriend she thinks I never should've broken up with, and they both happen to be in New York City the exact same week that I am. I guess it's true what they say: when it rains it pours.”

I let out another bitter laugh, then brushed his hand away from my arm and stalked away.

This was turning out to be one hell of a trip.