Life on Mars

*Eliza’s POV*

“We’ve got a problem,” Holden announced as he stepped out onto the deck.

“One second…” I mumbled, my eyes never leaving the newspaper article I was almost done with. He dutifully remained silent and steadfast in the same spot as I finished up reading the last paragraph, and when I was done I tossed it on the table and looked up at him quizzically. I noticed he was holding a magazine in one hand.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked.

“Honeymoon’s over,” he sighed, pulling off his sunglasses. “While you two have been running around playing the virgin game the media’s been busy.” He held the magazine out to me, which I saw was a copy of People magazine, and I slowly took it from him. “Turn to page 12,” he told me.

I frowned as I set it down on the table, then flipped it open to page 12 just as he’d instructed. There were several photographs positioned on the page, but instantly my eyes went to Jared’s familiar smiling face. On his arm…laughing happily…was me.

I read the caption outloud: “Looks like Jared Leto has a new girlfriend. The pretty blonde on his arm has been confirmed as bestselling novelist Eliza West. Here, the two lovebirds share a laugh as they leave a local restaurant in West Hollywood after enjoying a quiet dinner.”

Holden sat down in the chair closest to me as I let out a heavy sigh. I closed my eyes and flipped the magazine shut, then rested my arms on it and buried my face in them. This was so unexpected that I couldn’t even begin to formulate words.

“It’s all over TMZ, Us Weekly, OK!…Even Perez fucking Hilton…” He began softly. “It’s been floating around the internet all day. My phone’s been ringing nonstop. I finally had to unplug it from the damn wall.” He sighed in exasperation and shook his head. “I didn’t want it to be like this but…I did want to be the first to tell you.”

“Thanks,” I whispered, swallowing hard. “Do you know who confirmed it was me?”

“Yeah, some journalist over at People is a huge fan of your work,” he answered. “She recognized your picture. They must be having a fucking field day over there. People’s journalists hardly ever confirm a story before someone else does.”

“There’s no story,” I hissed. “We had dinner. How is that a story?”

“Well apparently,” he began matter-of-factly, “it is when the only thing I can say in regards to the suggested nature of your relationship is ‘no comment.’ You told me two weeks ago that you would talk to him about this. Have you?”

“No,” I admitted guiltily. “Do you think…he knows about it?”

“I doubt it,” Holden shook his head. “Since this is the first you’re hearing about it, then I’m sure if he already knew he would’ve called you and taken the initiative to make some decisions. He’s got far more experience when it comes to handling this kind of attention. I’m sure he could school you on a few things. So…I’d say it’s safe to assume that he isn’t aware of the situation.”

“Okay, good,” I nodded with a breath of relief. “God…this could not possibly come at a worse time.”

“Why?” He chuckled forcibly. “I know you’re not working on anything new, so how horrible of an inconvenience could this be?”

“It’s not an inconvenience,” I clarified. “It’s just that…tonight’s the night I’m sharing head chef duties with Tomo at his parents’ restaurant. It’s a private party and…this is not going to help my nerves.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” he smiled reassuringly. “You’re a pro at everything you do. And why not call Jared and ask how he’d like to handle this from here on out before you head downtown? Not a bad idea considering that was your plan anyway, right?”

I gave him an evil look, then rolled my eyes. “I don’t have time,” I replied. “I have to be there in two hours and I still have to shower and get dressed. I can’t be on the phone having this long-winded conversation…”

“Do you want me to call him?” He asked, an official edge of professionalism marking his tone. “I can get this straightened out, Izzy.”

“Absolutely not,” I said firmly. “I will deal with this when I see him tomorrow. In the mean time, keep up the ‘no comment’ thing. It’s no one’s business who or what we are to one another.”

“You’re the boss,” he sighed as he stood up again. “But let me know if you change your mind. I’d stay for a few more minutes but I gotta jet. Gwen and I are going to see a movie tonight.”

We’d finally all met Gwen a week earlier and instantly shared the same affection for her. It was easy to see why Holden was falling so quickly. “Tell her I said hi,” I smiled. “And have fun.”

“I will to both,” he grinned. He leaned down to kiss my cheek and give me a quick hug, then turned and disappeared into the house again. “Good luck tonight!” He called over his shoulder.

“Thanks, H!” I shouted back.

****

It was a good thing I was familiar with the area where Tomo’s parents restaurant was located. Otherwise I would’ve let my thoughts distract me just enough to get lost.

I couldn’t really remember a time in my life where I’d been so irritated and felt so violated. For two weeks Jared and I had managed to stay under the media’s radar, and I knew that now that it had begun there was nothing either of us could do to stop it.

Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should’ve said something to him sooner. Maybe I should’ve brought it up and asked how he wanted to address it. But for two weeks I’d been able to pretend that we were normal, that he was normal, and that we could do everyday things without worrying about who saw us. I should’ve known better when I’d sensed his protective side the first time we went to dinner together, just the two of us. He held my hand a little tighter, pulled me a little closer, and seemed to want to shield me from something. So what had made the moment in this picture so different?

But I already knew. We were laughing, too caught up in one another’s smiles to notice anyone else around. One split second of weakness and now we were all over the internet…

I pulled into the small back lot of The Blue Violin then, relieved that I’d finally arrived and could stop dwelling on things I had no control over. I sent Tomo a text message to let him know I’d arrived, killed the engine, and climbed out of my car. I was just leaning against the car door when Tomo stepped out the back door a few seconds later. He was wearing a wide grin and a crisp white chef’s smock.

“Is that brand new?” I asked amusingly. “You’re gonna ruin that thing within a few hours.”

“That’s the plan,” he returned excitedly, rubbing his hands together as he walked towards me. “Are you looking forward to tonight?”

“I am,” I nodded. Then a thought occurred to me and I began to motion towards my car. “Tomo…can I show you something?”

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded in response.

I pulled open the driver’s side door and reached over to the passenger seat to grab the magazine. “Here,” I said as I stood upright again. “Page 12.”

“Uh oh…” He sighed, taking it from me. “I already don’t like where this is going…”

I cracked a stiff smile. “Just open it.”

He quickly obliged, and as soon as he saw the photograph of me and Jared he looked up at me again. “Do you know if he knows?”

“I don’t think he does,” I answered. “Holden’s actually the one that dropped it off. He’s been fielding phone calls all day.”

Tomo handed me back the magazine and I tossed it back into the car. “If Holden is the first one that told you then I’m positive Jared doesn’t know. I’m sure you’re already aware that he doesn’t really spend any time on the internet. Shannon and I are usually the first ones to see these kinds of things.”

When I didn’t say anything, mostly because I didn’t know what to say, he rested up against the car next to me. His chocolate brown eyes were kind and patient on mine.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked softly. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” I murmured. “But…if I say something to you…can you promise me that it’ll stay between us?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded. “My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. “The thing is…I’m afraid that if people find out I’m dating Jared…they’re going to think I’m only doing it for attention. Does that sound…crazy?”

“No, I don’t think it sounds crazy at all,” he shrugged. “I think given the circumstances it’s a very normal reaction. But the fact of the matter is that you’ve already established yourself as a serious novelist. Sevenfold, actually, with an eighth on the way. And more importantly, you know you’re seeing him for all the right reasons. What does it matter what anyone else thinks?”

“It doesn’t,” I agreed. “You’re right about everything. But it’s about principle, you know?”

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t spent the last seventeen years enduring this crap like he has,” Tomo reasoned. “I can promise you that principle has absolutely nothing to do with it. People are going to say whatever they want to say, and if you really care about Jared and people really respect your work, then just let them have at it. Just…for the love of God…don’t ever Google eachother ever again.”

I laughed loudly, giving him a playful shove as we both pulled away from the car. “That’s some good advice,” I pointed out, swinging an arm around his shoulders. “Thanks, Tomo.”

“Anytime,” he smiled. “Now let’s get cooking…”

****

By ten o’clock we were thrilled with our success but delirious with exhaustion. The kitchen had mostly been cleaned up, the majority of the staff had been released for the night, and Tomo and I were enduring the worst fits of giggles either of us had ever experienced. We’d already beaned one another in the forehead with carrot slices at least half a dozen times and our hair reeked of oregano and chives. After that incident we must’ve spent a good five minutes helping eachother shake it out over the sink, and by that time Tomo’s parents had given up trying to talk any sense into us. None of the lingering guests in the front room could hear us anyway – they were too busy nursing the last of their drinks.

I was so proud of us. We’d done so well and we worked wonderfully as a team. There wasn’t one moment the entire night that I wasn’t laughing at something someone said or tauntingly reminding a member of the waitstaff to “keep the thumbs off the plate.” Tomo’s parents peeked in every so often the first hour, but it seemed that once they saw the way we communicated they no longer felt the need to check in. I didn’t mind either way. I loved them and I thought they were incredible. They were welcoming, enthusiastic, and incredibly encouraging. Granted, I’d learned all of this a week earlier when he first brought me down to the restaurant to meet them, but it was even better to see them in action. For years I’d bought into the notion that families should never go into business together, yet the Milicevic family completely changed my mind about that.

I was just wiping down the last of the counters while Tomo took a phone call outside, humming contently to myself, when I suddenly felt a pair of familiar strong arms slide around my waist from behind. I jumped, even though I already knew who it was, and dropped the cloth onto the table so that I could twist around in his arms and face him.

My heart went into overdrive as I peered into Jared’s blue eyes, and I remembered the magazine sitting on my passenger seat all over again. I caught myself before I let out an agonizing sigh and was relieved when he was the first to smile.

“Hey…” He whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to my neck.

“Hi…” I breathed. I could feel something digging into my back. I couldn’t be sure if it was the edge of the counter or his hands. He never held me this tightly. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought…we were gonna see eachother tomorrow.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” he answered. “I called Tomo a couple of hours ago and asked how late he thought you two would be here. I wanted to catch you before the high wore off. How did it go?”

“Awesome,” I returned with a laugh. “His parents offered me a job.”

“Oh yeah?” He laughed back. “And what did you tell them?”

“I thanked them but said I’d have to pass, and that I would love them forever if they’d let me come down here and cook with Tomo every so often.”

“Forever?” He asked coyly. “That’s an awfully long time…”

Okay, yep. Definitely his arms. And officially starting to feel uncomfortable with a line like that.

I untangled myself from his grip and grabbed the cloth I’d dropped on the countertop to carry it over to the sink. I could feel his eyes on me as I rinsed it out, and when I was done I threw it into the pile of the last batch of linens that would be put in the washer before we left for the night.

I still didn’t look up as I began to unbutton my kitchen smock. My fingers felt slightly numb as they moved down the line. I smiled stiffly. “You’re right,” I agreed quietly. “Forever is an awfully long time.”

“It was just a joke, Eliza…” He said, his voice just as quiet. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Fight or flight. This was it. I could do what my overprotective heart always wanted to do when it came to men, which was make up a stupid reason to walk away instead of talking it out, or I could compromise with my heart and give him a little room. I could keep doing what I’d been doing for the last two weeks.

But I wanted to put off the subject for just a little longer. I didn’t want to talk about it right now.

“I know,” I finally relented. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he responded with sincerity.

Neither of us had said anything for a long while, I suppose because we were at a loss for words, when Tomo came into the kitchen. I wasn’t even sure where he’d been all this time.

“Uh…” He quickly glanced back and forth between me and Jared. “Am I interrupting something?”

The question was meant more for me, and I sensed that somehow Jared knew this. I also sensed that he wasn’t pleased by it.

“I don’t know,” Jared said pointedly, his eyes on me. “Is he?”

Fight or flight, fight or flight. I just kept repeating the words to myself, making the decision to fight with myself over this minor detail that I knew I was blowing out of proportion instead of walking away.

“No,” I sighed. “You’re not, Tomo.”

Tomo forced a smile. We were both thinking the same thing. “Good,” he eventually nodded. “Well…the last of the guests just left so…you’re free to head out whenever you’d like.” He turned to Jared. “What are your plans? You headed home or what?”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded. “It’s been a long day…”

We all laughed softly in agreement. Our reasons may have been different, but the end result was still the same. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and block out every noise, sound, and sliver of light within a mile.

“Well…” I sighed, slipping off the kitchen smock and holding it out to Tomo. “I guess I should give this back.”

“Nah,” he grinned. “You keep it. It’s yours now.”

“Thanks,” I smiled back. “In that case…I guess I’ll just go say goodbye to your parents.”

I didn’t wait for anyone to reply before pushing through the swinging door and stepping out into the hallway that led to the main dining area. I paused and inhaled a deep breath, almost considering the idea that the night might end better if Jared left before I returned, and began on my way to find Tomo’s parents.

But I knew Jared wouldn’t leave without at least saying goodbye. He loved hugs, and every night that we hadn’t spent together, he’d spent a good five minutes embracing me before we departed. Part of me thought it was endearing. The other part of me was scared as hell.

I finally found Mr. and Mrs. Milicevic sitting at a table in the far corner accompanied by glasses of red wine, a large calculator, and a stack of receipts. They looked up and smiled as I approached, and I motioned down to the receipts with my eyes as I eased into an empty chair.

“It’s almost 10:30 at night,” I reminded them with my own smile. “Why don’t you do that in the morning?”

“Because if we wait then it won’t get done,” Mrs. Milicevic returned with a laugh. “We prefer not to procrastinate.”

I loved their Croatian accents. It almost made me wish I was Croatian. All night long I kept begging Tomo to say something in Croatian to me, and by the sly smile on his face every so often, I knew that many of the phrases were dirty.

“Did Tomo tell you that you’re welcome to go now?” Mr. Milicevic asked.

“Yes,” I nodded. “I just wanted to say goodnight and thank you. I had a wonderful time.”

“No, thank you,” Mrs. Milicevic replied, patting my hand affectionately. “We loved having you here and you’re welcome back any time you’d like. You don’t even need to bring Tomo. Just give us a call and let us know when.”

“Thank you,” I chuckled. “That’s very nice of you and I’m sure I’ll be taking you up on that.”

We all stood up and exchanged warm embraces, and a moment later I was heading back towards the kitchen. I paused briefly in a small room just before it, where all the employees kept their personal belongings to grab my things, and then pushed through the door. Jared and Tomo were talking about music – no surprise there – and they both looked up when I entered.

“All set?” Tomo asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “And…thanks. I had a lot of fun.”

“So did I,” he grinned, pulling me into his arms. “You’ll have to come back sometime. My parents told you that you could come by without me, right?”

“Yes, they did,” I laughed as we let go of one another. “And I’m sure I will be.”

“Awesome.” He looked at Jared as I began to walk towards him. “Give me a call tomorrow. We’ll work on that new song.”

“Will do,” Jared smiled.

Jared and I left through the back door together, and as we wandered towards our respective vehicles, parked side by side, I could feel his sideways glance in my direction. It hit me that there was no way he’d let it go and that there was no way I’d be able to put it off much longer if we didn’t say goodbye right now.

“So, um…I talked to Holden earlier and he and Gwen invited us to dinner at his house sometime in the next couple of weeks,” I began. “I think he said that Shann and Pres already said yes, so…what do you think?”

“Yeah, of course,” he answered as he took my hand and squeezed it lightly. I knew that he could sense my inexplicable desire to run like hell for the first time since initially meeting, but he didn’t press. “Do you want me to just…call you in the morning?” He asked.

I nodded instantly. “Yeah. Presley’s dragging me up to the Farmer’s Market in Brentwood so I’ll be up early, but just call my cell phone.”

“How is she dragging you when you’re the one with the culinary background?” He chuckled. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well she’s asked me to help her out with making your brother a vegetarian dish for dinner tomorrow night,” I replied. “If I can make it appetizing enough we may be able to ring her into joining the crowd and becoming a vegetarian just like us…”

“That would be awesome,” he grinned.

I dug my keys out of my purse then, reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and threw my arms around his neck to briefly hug him. I couldn’t bear to hug him any longer than a moment or two. I was afraid it would all come spilling out. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back, a touch of sadness washing through his tone. “Goodnight, Eliza…”