Dove and Grenade

Matt hadn't been home when I went over to grab my clothes. The car was gone, but the effects of last night's fiasco was still littered about the house. I helped a little, picking up cups and throwing them out. After all, it was partially my mess and hopefully still my house.

I successfully made it back to Aron's without anyone coming in the house. And by anyone, of course, I meant Matt. I threw my stuff down in my room and flopped face first onto my bed. A headache had been growing behind my skull. I hadn't been down five minutes when my phone started to ring.

"Fuck," I groaned.

I was too slow-moving to get to the phone before my voicemail reached it. I rubbed my eyes and reached for it anyway. It rang again, once, then twice. I glanced at the caller ID, and I shook my head. It was Matt.

So I'd nearly escaped him that day. I didn't know if I should answer or not, but by the time I'd made up my mind, voicemail had picked it up again. I waited, thinking he'd call again, but my phone lay silent in my hand.

I shrugged, collapsing back down on the bed. I kept my phone in my hand, just in case, but it remained calm. I closed my eyes against my pounding headache.

There was a hard knocking at the door, and I sat up.

"What?" I grumbled.

The door opened and Aron held his phone out to me.

"It's Matt," he said quietly.

I stood up and took the phone from him. He shrugged, and he shut the door behind him as he left. I put the phone to my ear.

"I wasn't ignoring you," I said.

"What?" came Matt's voice.

"When you called," I said. "I wasn't ignoring you, I just didn't get to my phone in time."

"Both times?" said Matt.

"I wasn't expecting you to call twice," I replied.

"I see you were over," he said. "All your stuff is gone."

"Yeah, I'm leaving. I need clothes," I said. "And all my clothes were at the house."

"...so you're really leaving?" Matt asked.

"Of course I am," I said.

"I just didn't think it would end like this," said Matt.

"No one said it was over."

"I assumed, since you left, you weren't coming back."

"Yeah, well, I'm considering it now."

"You know, I had thought about touring," sighed Matt. "I assumed you'd come with me. At least, I wanted you to come with me."

"Maybe I don't want to live on a bus half my life," I said. "I want a home."

"I understand that, but I don't know what we could possibly do to make this work," Matt said. "If I'm gone and you're home alone, you'll probably worry I'm doing shit with other girls. If you're in Bakersfield, I'll be worrying you're off doing shit with other guys...like Alex."

"Okay, first of all, don't think I'm so shallow as to just assume you'll be fucking around," I snapped. "And don't accuse me of doing shit with Alex. Where'd you even hear that?"

"It was just an example," Matt said. "Why are you getting so defensive?"

"I'm not," I said.

"Obviously," Matt snorted.

"I'm leaving in two days," I continued. "I want this to work, but it's obviously not going to right now. I guess I'll call you when I'm back in town."

"So I suppose this is good-bye?" asked Matt.

"For now," I said.

"Kara, I love you," said Matt.

I closed my eyes, nodded, and said, "I know."

I hung up before either of us could say anything else. I felt a tear slide down my cheek- had I been crying? I wiped my face and stood up.

As expected, Aron was standing outside my door. I handed him his phone, and I shut the door. I didn't need to utter a single word. He'd been listening the whole time.

Asshole.