A Letter To You
everything i cant say to your face
If only you knew who you were,
I just want to tell you that you have no idea how much you mean to me. But you also need to know that it’ll never be enough. I may be strong enough to survive in your world but just a taste of mine would kill you.
So what, you say. Why me, why now? how could your world be so bad that it would kill anyone besides yourself?
I know you. and I know your reactions to everything and everyone. You’re my open book and these questions would be the first to pop out of your mouth other then the primary Huh?
So you’ll want answers. And I’m not sure I can give them. There’s no simple way to say anything concerning me or my life, my world. But I’ll try, in the most blunt way I can.
You because I love you, more then I should. Now because I can’t keep it to myself anymore.
And it’s that bad because that’s how I am. I find trouble, it finds me. Sometimes, I even create it. But the easiest way to explain it is this. I’m not meant for this world. I don’t fit here. And I feel it. I feel like a part of me is missing and nothing I can do or say or be can fill it. I see things that no one else does. I think in a way that nobody else understands. I live in a way that not even the smartest of people can even begin to comprehend.
So there you go. I try to belong here but there’s always something screaming at me that I don’t fit, that I never will. And maybe I should just stop trying. Exerting all this effort is tiring and I know it’s useless. But if I stop trying, if I stop fighting, I lose you. and you’re not something I’m willing to give up.
So know, just know, how much I care for you. know that I fight for you. know that I love you and care for you and will do anything for you, be anything for you.
But that’s why I love you so much. You don’t want me to be anyone else then who I am, even if who I am is always changing.
So I love you and I miss you and I want you to know.
But the most important thing is, you never will.
Xoxo
Cici.
I just want to tell you that you have no idea how much you mean to me. But you also need to know that it’ll never be enough. I may be strong enough to survive in your world but just a taste of mine would kill you.
So what, you say. Why me, why now? how could your world be so bad that it would kill anyone besides yourself?
I know you. and I know your reactions to everything and everyone. You’re my open book and these questions would be the first to pop out of your mouth other then the primary Huh?
So you’ll want answers. And I’m not sure I can give them. There’s no simple way to say anything concerning me or my life, my world. But I’ll try, in the most blunt way I can.
You because I love you, more then I should. Now because I can’t keep it to myself anymore.
And it’s that bad because that’s how I am. I find trouble, it finds me. Sometimes, I even create it. But the easiest way to explain it is this. I’m not meant for this world. I don’t fit here. And I feel it. I feel like a part of me is missing and nothing I can do or say or be can fill it. I see things that no one else does. I think in a way that nobody else understands. I live in a way that not even the smartest of people can even begin to comprehend.
So there you go. I try to belong here but there’s always something screaming at me that I don’t fit, that I never will. And maybe I should just stop trying. Exerting all this effort is tiring and I know it’s useless. But if I stop trying, if I stop fighting, I lose you. and you’re not something I’m willing to give up.
So know, just know, how much I care for you. know that I fight for you. know that I love you and care for you and will do anything for you, be anything for you.
But that’s why I love you so much. You don’t want me to be anyone else then who I am, even if who I am is always changing.
So I love you and I miss you and I want you to know.
But the most important thing is, you never will.
Xoxo
Cici.
♠ ♠ ♠
for everyone who feels out of place in their life. everyone who loves someone but can never tell them.this is for everyone.