The Way You Make Me Feel

I think of yesterday, how you came over as a surprise welcome home party; of two, just you and me and my mom’s 12 inch TV. The channel was stuck on the Disney Channel, but neither of us complained; in fact we absolutely loved it. Back to back episodes of J.O.N.A.S., the Suit Life on Deck, Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place and I felt like I never left in the first place. We ate dinner with my family, and I walked you out to your car after 12 hours of being in your company; you hugged me close and told me you were glad I was back. In that moment I wished I never left you behind, but not for the same reasons as you do.

I think of yesterday, how on the radio right after you left, a singer sung a song about the way I felt. And I took a little time, scripting all the things that I’d tell you, but it’s just a different game to tell you how I feel.

I think of yesterday, and how you showed up at 2 am. My light is always on, I’m always there for you, and you took full advantage of that. You spilled everything, and now the smoke has cleared and all along I feared it would end this way. You’re with someone else, who got mad that you were M.I.A. the previous day, and you came to me with this burden. But it’s not going to help anything if you come to me when his issue is me.

I think of yesterday, and how I wanted to get on my knees and beg you to leave him, because if I can’t be the one to hold you, baby I don’t think I’ll live. And that I wonder what it’s like to be loved by you. But I held my tongue, and was the good unselfish friend you needed at the moment.

I think of yesterday, when I saw you with him. He buys nice things, and he’ll make it seem that your life is like a dream. But money isn’t everything. When the lights go down, you’ll be left with promises left empty. I said hello, and while you grinned and waved, he glared and pulled you away.

I think of yesterday, and how we went out to Starbucks and you had the tiniest bruise on your cheekbone. But you wouldn’t tell me a thing, and I know something’s wrong.

I think of yesterday, I ran into you at a bar, drowning in the bottom of your drink. How did this get so out of control? You’re always the Designated Driver, just like I am. When I came up as asked you what was going on, you spilled some nonsense, and I could tell those little white lies are intoxicating, for yours just got more plentiful. I drove you home, and you fell asleep on my couch. You were gone in the morning.

A month went by, a month that I can’t describe; a month that I’ve been trying to push aside and forget in time. I can’t stand to see you with someone else anymore, so I spent some extra nights trying to forget the things that I’ve shown you, and what I’ve seen evolve before my very eyes; and all the times I’ve spent being lonely.

And now you’re standing at my front door, your things at your feet. We’re inches apart but miles away. The sun has set has yet to set, and you’re not here to say good night. You’re crying and confessing your sins, and I let you in and didn’t care if it was wrong to accept your apology so easily. You spend the hour crying into my shirt, and when you finally finish you tell me how his biggest fault, was that he just wasn’t me.

And me, the one who can’t stop digging the way you make me feel, I finally told you. I took a chance and told you how I can’t get enough of you, and how I’m falling in love with you. I told you how you’re adorable as hell, and then you reached out and took me by surprise.

I think of yesterday, how we got so confused and tangled; but now everything is alright. And when I’m away and missing you like crazy, you know exactly what to do. You send me and update on our favourite shows, and buy us tickets for when I’m home. And I still can’t stop digging the way you make me feel.