The Smile You Fake, The Steps You Take

POINT OF VIEW: Amanda Rothman.

Our bliss didn't last long before it was thrown into total turmoil. It's practically painful to think about, so I'll make the recap short: on a pit-stop on the way home, the boys and I were having a late dinner at a Denny's in Houston when this tall, brunette, absolutely gorgeous girl strolled in and conveniently happened to be a girl Jack had dated back home, a girl that he'd been completely in love with. A girl who had dropped him on his ass for somebody else. She'd slid into our booth and greeted everybody warmly, completely glossing over me. Alex and Rian had looked extremely uncomfortable, whereas Zack had decided to remain completely emotionless on the matter. It had taken ages, but I finally managed to extract the whole history from Alex, and it wasn't pretty. That dinner was rather emotionally scarring, and for the entire rest of the night before we'd all fallen asleep, all I heard out of Jack was reminiscent stories about himself and fucking Isabella. He was pretending that she was just an old friend of his. He didn't know that I'd gotten the story out of Alex.

Hours would pass, even days, in which Jack would hardly look at me; he was too consumed in texting Isabella, that demon seed. Of course, she decides to waltz right back into Jack's life after breaking his heart when he's finally moved on and found somebody else. I mean, I assumed that she'd broken his heart if I was his first girlfriend since her. But now that he was starting to talk to her again, was he going to realize that they were "meant to be together" or something and completely dump me? That would be messed up, even for him, but I'd learned recently to never underestimate anybody. Love made people do some crazy shit, and I of all people could understand that, but if Jack dumped me for another girl I would be crushed. I wouldn't be able to handle it as gracefully at John had; he was an amazing person who only wanted me to be happy, and while I also just wanted Jack to be happy, I wanted him to be happy with me.

"Jack?" I ventured one afternoon, crawling onto his lap and settling down comfortably. "You wanna do something tonight? We're stopping to stay at a hotel, so we could go out and get something to eat. I don't know, whatever you want."

He nodded absently but it was obvious that he'd heard nothing I said. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." Then he proceeded to text back to whoever he was talking to, most likely Isabella. Unbelievable. Most guys would find it physically impossible to not notice a girl sitting directly on their laps, yet Jack wasn't even looking at me. I frowned and climbed off him.

"Forget it, I changed my mind," I huffed and opted to sit next to Alex across the bus.

"I'm sorry, what?" he looked up, placing his iPhone on the couch next to him.

I shook my head. "Nothing, really. Go ahead and keep talking to Izzie," I snapped vehemently.

"You don't mind that I'm talking to her, do you?"

I laughed. "No, of course not. Go ahead, ignore me for her. I'm totally cool with it," I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Jack, however, didn't catch on.

He grinned and crossed the bus to kiss my cheek. "Thanks, you're the best." He then exited to our room, kicking the door closed behind himself.

"Un-fucking-believable," I muttered, resting my head on Alex's shoulder. "Alex, what the fuck," I whined and he smoothed down my hair.

"It's okay, don't worry," he comforted me. "You'll be fine. He'll catch on. Well...eventually, at least."

I laid my head in his lap. "Promise?" I yawned, closing my eyes. Being ignored by your boyfriend was tiring.

He hesitated before saying, "I promise. Just go to sleep, you need a nap."

I obliged. It was several hours before I woke. I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly, yawning and looking around. Alex had also fallen asleep and his arm was around me. I smiled and gently moved it, arranging my body so it was leaning against his. My head fit perfectly on his shoulder and I sighed, closing my eyes and trying to fall back asleep in this much more comfortable position. Before falling back asleep I made a mental note to ask Alex to do something with me tonight, since Jack would probably be talking to Isabella on the phone by then. It was amazing how one blast from the past could completely change his outlook on life, his outlook on me. I didn't like it. Before I knew it, I was being shaken awake by Rian.

"Wake up, kids, we're here," he was saying.

"Thanks, Ri." I stood, yawned, and stretched before poking Alex repeatedly in the stomach. "C'mon, sleepy-head. Now we can transport ourselves into comfortable hotel beds and crash there instead."

"What time is it?" Alex rubbed his eyes and stood slowly.

"Like, four in the afternoon," Zack offered. "did anybody get Jack yet?"

"Pfft, just leave him," I rolled my eyes.

"Jack, come out! We're here!" Rian shouted at the top of his lungs before disembarking the bus and starting for the hotel. Jack emerged from the room, his phone glued to his fingers as predicted.

"Hey, guys," he said shortly, in mid-text.

I didn't bother to respond since he woudn't hear me anyway. I was losing interest in even trying, and it had only been a few days since Izzie had invaded our lives. Alex put his arm around me comfortingly and lead me off the bus and into the hotel. Zack checked us into our two rooms and tried to divide us properly.

"Okay, so there's me, Jack, Alex, Rian, Kara, and Amanda. How are we gonna work this?" he wondered.

"three in each room," Alex replied. "Rian, Zack and Kara can be in one."

Zack winced and whispered to Alex, "are you sure you wanna put Amanda, you and Jack all in the same room?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, confused. Why would that be a problem? Well, aside from me being around Jack.

"Rian and Kara need to be together, and I think Amanda would feel awkward if she stayed with them."

"Oh, and your situation isn't awkward?" Zack challenged, glancing at me hastily.

"It's fine, you guys. That'll work. I just refuse to share a bed with Jack, that's my only condition," I spoke up.

"But they only have two queen beds in each room," Alex offered unhelpfully.

"I'll share with you, then. Anything to stay away from him." I shot Jack a dirty look, but did he notice? He was one-hundred percent enraptured with his phone and separated from the real world.

The others accepted this decision and we headed for our rooms. I hugged Zack, Kara, and Rian goodnight before they went into their room, leaving me alone with Jack and Alex. I threw my purse onto the bathroom counter violently and splashed some cold water on my face before drying it hastily with a plush towel. Without even changing, I ripped the covers back from one of the beds and climbed in, pulling the blankets up to my shoulders.

Jack turned off his phone and carefully placed it on the bedside table before finding a place for his one bag. "Wow, there's a sight," I noted irritably.

"What?"

"Jack Barakat is willing to turn off his phone for more than five consecutive minutes? Will Isabella worry that you've been eaten by a wild beast and call the armed forces? Maybe you should call her and tell her that you're alright, sweetheart."

Alex held back a laugh as he got a drink from the mini-fridge.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Jack demanded, pulling back the covers from the other side of the bed.

"Absolutely nothing, and you're not sharing this bed with me."

"What, you want me to share with Alex?" he frowned.

"Even Alex doesn't want to share anything with you right now," Alex added, slipping past Jack and climbing into the bed next to me.

"Alex, come on, man. That's messed up. I can't share the bed with my own girlfriend?"

I laughed bitterly and turned away from Jack. "The term 'girlfriend' has a very loose translation to you, doesn't it?"

"Amanda-"

"Just go to sleep. Some of us are actually tired."

He sighed and turned off the lights. "Did you still want to do something later tonight? Get a bite to eat or whatever?"

I smiled to myself. "No, sorry. I assumed you didn't want to do anything, so now Alex and I are going out."

"And I can't even tag along?"

"No. Goodnight, honey."