The Smile You Fake, The Steps You Take

POINT OF VIEW: Amanda Rothman.

buzz buzz buzz.

"What the hell, another one?" Jack gaped. "Who have you been texting non-stop for the past forty-eight hours?" It had been two days since Jack had freaked out on me. We'd been stuck on the bus together 24/7 and had been forced to work out whatever "problems" we had. That the was the good thing about being on a tour bus: you had no choice but to fix whatever you'd fucked up, though the bad news was that it was nearly impossible to keep secrets from one another.

"My friend," I told him as I texted back. "He said he's gonna come to your show tomorrow, so you get to meet him. Then again, you might've already met."

Jack noded and looked out the window, not bothering to ask any more questions.

Placing my phone down I scooted closer to Jack and lay down across his lap. "You doin' okay?" I asked, smiling up at him. For the past few days he'd been acting a bit...off, not his normal loud, obnoxious self. "You've been acting weird."

He looked down at me. "Yeah, i'm fine," offering me what looked like a very forced smile.

Not quite believing it, I nodded nonetheless. "So when do I get to know who you're gonna start touring with?"

Jack smiled, "When they take the stage."

"Oh, come on!" I cried. "You won't even tell your best friend?" Tomorrow was the first show which would include the other headlining band and after that a mini-caravan would form with All Time Low and the other mystery group's buses.

"I especially can't tell you, little miss gossip."

I groaned. "Fine. in that case, I can't wait to see who it is."

"That's the spirit, my friend."

I spent the next ten minutes laying across Jack's lap while idly playing with a chunk of his blonde hair. Out of nowhere Jack blurted, "Hey, I gotta tell you something."

I looked at him and smiled. "Yeah, sure. Go for it." I stopped playing with his hair and reverted to twirling my own around my finger.

"Okay," he began. "I just wanted to tell you that I -"

buzz buzz buzz.

Jack stopped talking when my phone vibrated on his lap and I apologized. "Sorry, just one sec." I grinned when I read the text from John:

we just got to the hotel -- it's only ten minutes from the venue. and i've got big news, we'll talk to you tomorrow. can't wait! be good, little mandy. (; see ya soon.

"What?" Jack inquired when he caught sight of my expression. I showed him the text as I got up. "Wait, you're not going to bed, are you? It's only like ten o'clock."

"I want tomorrow to come faster!" I grinned, skipping towards my room. "I know you're gonna love John."

"Can't I finish what I was gonna tell you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Tell me in the morning, okay?" Before he even answered me I waved and cried, "Night!" in all my excitement, it took me almost an hour to fall asleep, but I managed to before Jack came to bed.

Just before falling unconscious I considered the fact that I'd never actually told Jack much about John, which was somewhat amazing; Jack knew more about me than most people, John being one of the few exceptions. John and I had been best friends up until eighth grade, which was when my dad had been transferred to Baltimore and brought the entire family with him. That was when I met Jack and found a new best friend in him, somewhat leaving John behind. We hadn't seen each other in ages, nearly three or four years now. I could hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of seeing him again, if only for a few hours or so.

POINT OF VIEW: Alex Gaskarth.

I waited until Amanda's door closed then sat down next to Jack, who was holding his face in his hands, shaking his head in a defeated sort of way. "You were gonna tell her, weren't you?"

He paused for a long moment before slowly nodding in defeat. "What am I gotta do?"

"Just calm down, you've always got tomorrow," I reasoned, patting him on the back. "And every day after that, really.

Jack shook his head. "You didn't read that text, man. It was all, 'I can't wait to see you! I have something to tell you!' I think he likes her. Maybe. Probably. Besides," he sighed, "she's been texting him for days on end and hasn't stopped talking about how wonderful he is."

"Shit, and he's gonna be there in person tomorrow."

Jack nodded again. "And she said she doesn't see him a whole lot anymore, so she'll want to spend all her free time with him, meaning -"

I picked up where Jack faltered, "- Meaning that he's got all day to ask her out, where as you have only a narrow window."

"When she dates somebody, she dates them for a long-ass time, too."

I shrugged. "That's cuz she doesn't rush into stuff and makes sure it's exactly what she wants."

"Well, that's great for her. For me, not so much. If she starts dating John, I might kill myself. He's all wrong for her."

"Have you even met the guy?" I scoffed.

Jack was quiet then shook his head.

"Then how do you know he's all wrong for her?"

"Because," he burst, then lowered his voice, "because he's not me."

I simply gaped at him in shock. I'd never heard him say anything like that, ever. "You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah, a lot, and now John's gonna come and take away any shot I have with her."

This problem was bigger than I'd previously thought. "What do you want me to say, Jack? you've had her right in front of you for years, and now that someone else is closing in on her you suddenly decide that you want her?" Jack frowned but I pushed on. "You had your chance, dude, and now you lost it."

For a minute I thought Jack was going to hit me, but then he bit his lip and looked at the floor. "You're right. I could've had her, but now it isn't fair to want to take her from John."

"Hey," I said hastily, "I'm not saying to give up and just let John have her. I'm saying fight a fair battle, and don't complain if you lose."

He thought this over. "She seems so excited to see him tomorrow."

What advice could I possibly give him? I'd never personally faced a situation such as this one before. "Make her more excited that she's got you."

He laughed stiffly. "How?"

"Make her laugh, be nice to her, be obnoxiously chivalrous. Stick by her side at all times and be protective over her. Girls love that shit."

"Okay, I guess I can do that," he said slowly.

I grinned and punched his shoulder lightly. "You've got this, dude. Now get to bed - you've got a big day ahead of you."

He got to his feet slowly and smiled. "Thanks, Alex." He went to his room and as soon as he was gone I spread myself out on the couch, rubbing my eyes in frustration.

"Dude," Zack sighed as he flung himself down at the little kitchen table, "you shouldn't have built him up like that. Now when he doesn't get Amanda it'll crush him."

"Well what was I supposed to say, Zack? 'you're never gonna get Amanda so just quit while you're ahead'?" I snapped. Jack was my best friend and I couldn't stand to see him hurt, but there was no easy way to get out of this situation; he was either going to come out on top of the world or completely heartbroken, and nothing I could possibly do would stop it.

Zack shrugged. "You shouldn't have said anything."

I chose not to respond to this and remained on the couch long after Zack had left the room to crawl into his bunk, thinking. Maybe I'd steered Jack in the wrong direction, but I could at least help him out on his fruitless quest. Jack could be the one to tell Amanda about the band that we'd be touring with. I could tell Zack and Rian to back off and let Jack be alone with Amanda. There were numerous tiny things I could help him with. Now I found myself praying that Jack got the girl, because if John won we'd have to deal with an ecstatic Amanda and a depressed Jack for months. Two people with obvious, but mostly hidden, feelings for each other, rooming together for months on end with two completely different emotional ranges. It wouldn't be pretty, exactly, but it promised to be quite interesting.