The Smile You Fake, The Steps You Take

POINT OF VIEW: Amanda Rothman.

The boys came rushing out from all corners of the course and "Team All Time Low" came at me, tackling me in a huge dog-pile. "Yeah, boy!" Rian cried, catapulting himself onto the top of the pile.

"Nice strategy, Amanda," Zack complimented.

I opened my mouth to protest but could hardly breathe under all their weight, let alone speak. John got the hint and took my hand, quickly rescuing me. I leaned against him and took deep breaths, grasping my chest.

"Jeez, guys. Kill me much?" I choked out, laughing slightly. I didn't want to make them feel bad or anything, but that wasn't gonna fly with me anymore. I happened to quite like living, thank you.

"Sorry," Alex apologized, pulling me to my feet. "But you were awesome. Way to distract the last remaining player to Jack could go in for the kill."

Jack nodded and held up his hand for a high-five. I obliged. "Good idea. I never would've thought of it," he offered.

I nodded mutely and pulled at the straps of my jacket. "Yeah, sure. Hey, can we get out of these vest thingies? It's starting to hurt my hip, seriously." Jack helped me out of it and we returned them, not knowing what to do now.

"So...now what?" Rian asked, kicking a pebble in the parking lot.

Zack shrugged. "I don't know. We could just get back in the car and go to the hotel or something."

Alex shook his head, "Lame. The night is still young!"

"Well what else is there to do?" he asked indignantly.

"The mall?" Jack suggested, shrugging. "There isn't much else to do around here."

"Do they even have a mall?" Kennedy wondered.

I scoffed. "Of course they do. This place might be a little rural but they aren't rednecks, darling. They have malls."

He nodded and looked down. "Right. Well, that sounds good then."

Ten minutes of discussion and driving later, we were all standing in the middle of the local mall. "So...now what?" Rian repeated.

"I...don't know," Alex admitted.

Then Jack spotted something. "Holy shit, you guys, let's go to Build-A-Bear!" he cried, racing for the store before anyone else voiced their opinion.

Rian laughed. "Sure, why not," he started after Jack and everyone else followed suit, including John. Why hadn't he mentioned it again? I hadn't had time to give him an answer before, so why was he not pressing the matter?

Maybe because he was a nice guy who actually had some patience and understood that some things required a little thought. "Hey, John?" I called and he stopped, turning to look at me.

"Yeah?"

"C'mere for a sec, we gotta talk," I sighed, dropped onto a bench, and pat the open space next to me. He slowly sat and glanced down at me. He looked nervous, and it was almost overwhelmingly cute.

"So...what do you wanna talk about?" he asked, as if he didn't already know.

"What you said to me just now."

He groaned. "Look, I know it was kind of random, and I understand if you don't feel that way. We can just move on and forget I -"

"You guys coming or what?" Jack shouted from Build-A-Bear. "we found some pandas and shit and we're dressing them like hookers!"

I sighed. Once again, interrupted by Jack and his impeccable timing. "Be right there!" I shouted back, almost in an angry way.

He was taken slightly aback but nodded. "Hurry or all the good whores will be taken!" He paused for a moment before returning to the store.

John laughed. "You see? I'm gonna understand, okay? I'll be fine, so don't worry about my feelings."

"What do you mean, 'you see'? what's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just that Jack's always trying to hang around you and be by you twenty-four seven. He's been acting weird since this morning, and he's never acted like that around me before."

"What are you saying?"

"I think he really likes you," John replied, defeated.

I pressed my lips together. I hardly knew if this was true, but right now I didn't care. "Well too bad I like you," I replied, ignoring the guilty little twitch in my chest.

"Yeah, I guess..." John said slowly, then snapped his head up. "Wait, what?"

I giggled and repeated what I'd said.

"You like me?" he asked incredulously.

"Of course," I grinned, "What's not to like? You're John O'Callaghan, and you're amazing."

He smiled and bit his lower lip, looking at the ground. "Is that a yes, then?"

"Obviously," I laughed and shoved him.

He grinned ear-to-ear and reached for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. "I've liked you for so long, Amanda. I just was always too nervous, you know? I didn't want to mess anything up."

My mind immediately flashed to Jack and how I felt about him: never saying anything because he was my best friend. Still not saying anything because part of me felt that with Jack there was so much more to lose. "I know what you mean," I nodded, getting to my feet and tugging on his arm. "We better go and meet them in there before they rip the place apart."

He stood and nodded but didn't move. I looked up at him and suddenly felt the uncontrollable urge to get on my tip-toes and kiss him. He seemed to feel the same way, because he moved a little closer to me with each passing second. He was so close that I could feel his cool breath on my cheeks. I closed my eyes leaned into him, seconds away from my lips touching his, when Zack came bolting out of the Build-A-Bear store and accidentally collided with us.

"Sorry, you guys!" he cried and kept running, not having noticed anything.

"What's wrong?" I shouted after him. Rian streaked out of the store as well, glancing over his shoulder multiple times before running after Zack. "Wait, you guys!" I called, groaning. "What's going on?" That was when I saw Jack forcefully ejected from the store by a burly guard who threw him nearly six feet away from the front doors. Alex came flying out shortly after.

"At least let me pay for my bear!" Alex whined, stretching out his arm as if he was being separated from a loved one. "Maria, no!"

Jack struggled to his feet and brushed off his pants, then came jogging up to me. "We need to book it, like now."

"What? Why?" John asked.

Alex jogged past us, calling back, "You don't wanna know."

"We got into a stuffing-fight and started talking about how skanky our bear looked. Then a kids' party passed by and some kids heard us swearing. The mom was not happy at all."

"Ah shit, here she comes!" Alex screamed, turning and running without another word.

Sure enough, a disgruntled mother had just exited the store and was making a b-line for us, brandishing her purse like a whip.

"Move, move, move!" Jack cried, grabbing my shoulder and shoving me forward, also unknowingly breaking my grip on John's hand. I obliged, allowing him to steer me out of the mall with John jogging next to me to keep up and Jack's hand on the small of my back. What the hell had I gotten myself into?