Mirror Dreams

A strange creature was sitting on a rocking chair chewing on a blade of grass. He had purple bumpy skin and a fisherman’s hat. The rocking chair was on a wooden jetty where a small rowing boat was tied. The creature looked up as the platform creaked under Jodie's foot.

“No goats allowed,” the thing said.
Jodie looked around confused. She couldn’t see any goats.

“Erm... excuse me, could I possibly use the-” she started.

“No goats!” interrupted the creature.

“What is with the goats?” Jodie demanded as her patience ran out.

The creature jumped down from the rocking chair and spat out his chewed up grass. He was about three feet tall and his skin was slowly turning orange in his anger.

“Look missy, I don’t know who you are or what you want but no one crosses this river with illegal goats!” he shouted at her.

“I. Do. Not. Have. Any. Goats. Got that?” she said slowly, trying to calm herself.

The creature huffed and threw his hat upon the chair. He stomped his little feet like a bull readying itself for a charge. Then he drew himself up and ran head on towards Jodie. She gave a little scream as she dived into a reed bush to avoid the force of his body. As she sat up she was astonished to see the creature fly past her into the river.

“Don’t mind that old troll. Though we better cross quickly, trolls are strong swimmers,” said a little bearded goat with a bugs bunny accent. He gave a saucy wink to a gobsmacked Jodie as he trotted to the end of the platform and jumped into the boat. Jodie hauled herself out of the bush and followed him.

“You better row, I find it a bit difficult, what with these hooves and all,” the goat said.

“Okay... but can I just ask why you were hiding behind me?” she questioned as she started to row them to the other side.

“Sure, it’s the only way I can close enough to the troll to outwit him.”

“But why do you want to cross the river anyways?”

The goat sighed and shook his head as he answered her,

“For the grass. The grass is always greener on the other side. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Plus there’s an annual goat fayre happening tomorrow that I don’t want to miss again!”
Jodie just gave him a look as she rowed on across the river as fast as she could.

“I saw a harbour porpoise sitting on a wall once,” the goat suddenly said. Jodie gave him another filthy look, why was the goat constantly talking gibberish, she wondered. The goat carried on staring hard at her tell she felt compelled to reply.

“What was a porpoise doing on a wall?” she asked.

“Silly,” laughed the goat, “I was sitting on the wall, the porpoise was in the water next to the wall.”

Jodie didn’t know what to say to that, the goat just got weirder and weirder. As long as she didn’t have to meet any more goats she reckoned she could put up with this one for a bit. Just till they reached the river bank.

The boat scraped roughly against the bank as they clambered out.

“Well... here we are. Nice to meet you,” said Jodie as she prepared to set off.

“Me and you should...” the goat blurted out.

“Should what?”

“Me and you should...hug trees and dance around like faeries,” smiled the goat.

“Whatever... weirdo,” muttered Jodie as she stalked off away from the goat. But the goat trotted after her.

“Well at least come to the goat fayre,” he said

“No.”

“Please. Pretty please. I know you’ll love it.” The goat looked at her with big puppy eyes. Jodie caved in and agreed to go to the fayre. As they were walking she suddenly wondered how a goat could make puppy eyes.

“I guess I’ve seen everything now... except an elephant fly,” she thought to herself.