Horrid Thoughts with Hard Questions
Dread
I feel light-headed after he tells me the details of my new 'job.'
I understand want kind of place this is now, and why there are ten other women living here in secret. It's a brothel. I think to myself in a haze. It's a fucking whore house.
Adrian continues on by saying that I will start work tomorrow, and that he has a customer already lined up for me, as if he planned for this to happen all along. Had he? I don't ask any questions, because I'm afraid that when I open my mouth all that will come out will be the contents of my stomach.
He pats me on the back, and I gag slightly.
"Everyone has a hard time getting used to it at first, but it's a living and we all have to make one somehow." With that, he turns and makes his leave, abandoning me there in his room with my insides churning at what is to come.
I find myself in an awkward place the next day, thinking about the night, wishing it not to come.
Early in the morning, Claire and I move our things upstairs into Jan and Katrina's room, with whom we now share it with. For now, we will sleep on cots set up at the end of the small room, but Adrian assures us we will have a mattress within the week.
I have not told Claire that we were close to being thrown out, nor have I told her why we have been moved...Nor have I told her what I will have to give up to be keep us here. She doesn't need to worry about such things, anyway.
After Claire goes downstairs for work, I look at my new uniform in disdain.
It is a maid uniform.
Just with less cloth than the one I used to wear.
I skip lunch, since I have no appetite, and I lay on my cot, staring at the ceiling, listening to Rita and Eva quarrel unintelligibly over something through the thin walls. At two o'clock, Annabelle comes in and tries to bring me out of my daze, but I'm too lost in the thoughts of my mind.
I get up a few times, and start to walk towards the stairs, only to remember I have no business downstairs anymore. I could go talk to Sandra, I reason with myself, only to realize that she isn't the talkative type, and probably wouldn't enjoy small talk. Claire is busy working as well.
To kill some time, I explore around upstairs, even though there's not much left to explore after cleaning most of it. There's the girls' and Adrian's room, along with the large shared bathroom at the end of the hall, the bar, and the locked room.
I sneak a peek into the bar seeing as no one is upstairs right now. The girls go off in the afternoon around one to go shopping or to the movies, and they return around seven at night.
The bar has a dark tile flooring, with a dark blue wallpaper. There's a stage, or I guess it's more like a catwalk, with a pole. It's a strip bar, I suddenly realize. What kind of place is Adrian running? I ask myself, although the answer is very clear.
After I leave the room, I find myself with nothing to do. I slink back to my room in sheer boredom. So I lay back on the cot once more, and try my best to relax myself, only to dread the night to come. I spend my time thinking - about Claire mostly.
What I feel for Claire isn't the normal love one feels for their cousin. It's much more than that.
The hours roll by as I make patterns in the ceiling above me. Once the clock strikes nine, I know that it means I will lose the any innocence I may have left. But if it's what I have to do...
I understand want kind of place this is now, and why there are ten other women living here in secret. It's a brothel. I think to myself in a haze. It's a fucking whore house.
Adrian continues on by saying that I will start work tomorrow, and that he has a customer already lined up for me, as if he planned for this to happen all along. Had he? I don't ask any questions, because I'm afraid that when I open my mouth all that will come out will be the contents of my stomach.
He pats me on the back, and I gag slightly.
"Everyone has a hard time getting used to it at first, but it's a living and we all have to make one somehow." With that, he turns and makes his leave, abandoning me there in his room with my insides churning at what is to come.
I find myself in an awkward place the next day, thinking about the night, wishing it not to come.
Early in the morning, Claire and I move our things upstairs into Jan and Katrina's room, with whom we now share it with. For now, we will sleep on cots set up at the end of the small room, but Adrian assures us we will have a mattress within the week.
I have not told Claire that we were close to being thrown out, nor have I told her why we have been moved...Nor have I told her what I will have to give up to be keep us here. She doesn't need to worry about such things, anyway.
After Claire goes downstairs for work, I look at my new uniform in disdain.
It is a maid uniform.
Just with less cloth than the one I used to wear.
I skip lunch, since I have no appetite, and I lay on my cot, staring at the ceiling, listening to Rita and Eva quarrel unintelligibly over something through the thin walls. At two o'clock, Annabelle comes in and tries to bring me out of my daze, but I'm too lost in the thoughts of my mind.
I get up a few times, and start to walk towards the stairs, only to remember I have no business downstairs anymore. I could go talk to Sandra, I reason with myself, only to realize that she isn't the talkative type, and probably wouldn't enjoy small talk. Claire is busy working as well.
To kill some time, I explore around upstairs, even though there's not much left to explore after cleaning most of it. There's the girls' and Adrian's room, along with the large shared bathroom at the end of the hall, the bar, and the locked room.
I sneak a peek into the bar seeing as no one is upstairs right now. The girls go off in the afternoon around one to go shopping or to the movies, and they return around seven at night.
The bar has a dark tile flooring, with a dark blue wallpaper. There's a stage, or I guess it's more like a catwalk, with a pole. It's a strip bar, I suddenly realize. What kind of place is Adrian running? I ask myself, although the answer is very clear.
After I leave the room, I find myself with nothing to do. I slink back to my room in sheer boredom. So I lay back on the cot once more, and try my best to relax myself, only to dread the night to come. I spend my time thinking - about Claire mostly.
What I feel for Claire isn't the normal love one feels for their cousin. It's much more than that.
The hours roll by as I make patterns in the ceiling above me. Once the clock strikes nine, I know that it means I will lose the any innocence I may have left. But if it's what I have to do...