Horrid Thoughts with Hard Questions
Tarnished Golden Frames
Adrian had rented several rooms at a small hotel—two girls in each room. The beds are small and rickety, but after a long day in the hot sun it doesn’t matter. Adrian and Annabelle get a room of their own-the honey moon suite-but our rooms are significantly smaller. The hotel has an old timey design, and makes me feel like we’re living in the 1700’s, with the exception of a fully functional toilet and shower.
Claire and I get a room to ourselves, of course. There are two small beds with tarnished golden frames, and one small window that looks out over the parking lot. I don’t like being stuck in such a small space, but it’s nice just to have a room with just Claire, again.
“I call window!” she yelps, as she throws her stuff on the bed closest to the window. I chuckle, and lay my bag beside the other one. She tosses herself on her bed, face first, and breathes a big sigh of exhaustion. She rode every ride at that water park, so I’m not surprised. After a few seconds she turns her body in my direction and stares at me while I neatly set up my things.
“Lizzy, please talk to me,” she pleads. My head pops up. Her eyes are wide, and look watery. I immediately feel like I’m going to burst into sobs, so I avoid her gaze.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Claire.” I say it as calmly as possible. If I don’t control myself, I’ll crack. And so will she.
“Then what’s wrong with you? You don’t talk to me anymore! You don’t laugh anymore! It’s like you’ve been replaced with a robot!” she yells. Her eyes have gone from concerned to cold. I can’t stand hurting her like this, but I can’t tell her the truth. I just can’t.
“Claire, I’m fine! I promise! And we’re fine. Look where we are! A place to live, food to eat, and jobs! We’re doing great, I think, considering our circumstances. Why are you pestering me about nothing?” I start getting defensive. I can’t control it. I’m yelling at her for what is potentially my fault. I’m taking my anger out on the only person who’s ever been there for me.
“I know you’re hiding something from me, Elizabeth. And I want you to tell me what it is right now! I didn’t run away with you just to be left in the dark.” Her voice has gotten softer, but still just as hard as before. She stares at me, waiting for an answer.
“I’m not hiding anything.”
She smiles, but not a happy smile. More like a smile of frustration. She slowly lifts herself off the bed and grabs her bags. “I’m going to sleep in Eva and Jan’s room. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Elizabeth,” she says, stoically, and slowly walks out of the room, the door slamming behind her.
I walk to the window and watch the parking lot. After a few minutes, my face is covered in snot and tears.
I cracked.
Claire and I get a room to ourselves, of course. There are two small beds with tarnished golden frames, and one small window that looks out over the parking lot. I don’t like being stuck in such a small space, but it’s nice just to have a room with just Claire, again.
“I call window!” she yelps, as she throws her stuff on the bed closest to the window. I chuckle, and lay my bag beside the other one. She tosses herself on her bed, face first, and breathes a big sigh of exhaustion. She rode every ride at that water park, so I’m not surprised. After a few seconds she turns her body in my direction and stares at me while I neatly set up my things.
“Lizzy, please talk to me,” she pleads. My head pops up. Her eyes are wide, and look watery. I immediately feel like I’m going to burst into sobs, so I avoid her gaze.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Claire.” I say it as calmly as possible. If I don’t control myself, I’ll crack. And so will she.
“Then what’s wrong with you? You don’t talk to me anymore! You don’t laugh anymore! It’s like you’ve been replaced with a robot!” she yells. Her eyes have gone from concerned to cold. I can’t stand hurting her like this, but I can’t tell her the truth. I just can’t.
“Claire, I’m fine! I promise! And we’re fine. Look where we are! A place to live, food to eat, and jobs! We’re doing great, I think, considering our circumstances. Why are you pestering me about nothing?” I start getting defensive. I can’t control it. I’m yelling at her for what is potentially my fault. I’m taking my anger out on the only person who’s ever been there for me.
“I know you’re hiding something from me, Elizabeth. And I want you to tell me what it is right now! I didn’t run away with you just to be left in the dark.” Her voice has gotten softer, but still just as hard as before. She stares at me, waiting for an answer.
“I’m not hiding anything.”
She smiles, but not a happy smile. More like a smile of frustration. She slowly lifts herself off the bed and grabs her bags. “I’m going to sleep in Eva and Jan’s room. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Elizabeth,” she says, stoically, and slowly walks out of the room, the door slamming behind her.
I walk to the window and watch the parking lot. After a few minutes, my face is covered in snot and tears.
I cracked.