Suicide Note

Tyler continues to stare at me. I stare back.
He sighs. "Shit,"
I nod. "Yeah."
"It's amazing how a person can affect others so drastically." He leans against the diner table.
"Are you talking about me, or the Suicide Girl?" I ask.
"Does it matter?" He asks.
I sit back. "I guess not."
The waitress comes over with our food. She places a cheese burger and fries in front of Tyler, and a hot dog and fries in front of me. She glances between us, and then walks away. She is probably wondering why we are together her during school hours.
"So, that's how you know your boyfriend cheated on you, a notebook." Tyler eats a fry.
"Yeah," I say.
"Damn." He scratches his head.
"Yeah," I say again.
He looks at me. "So what are you going to do?"
I shrug. "I am not staying with him, if that's what you-"
"No," Tyler cuts me off. "About the girl."
I raise an eyebrow. "What is there to do?"
"Well, you sure as hell can't just let her kill herself, can you?" He gives me a hard look.
I sigh. "Well, what the hell can I do?"
He rolls his eyes. "I don't know. But you'll figure it out, I know you will."
I begin to cry again. "I can't do it. I don't even know her name."
Tyler reaches across the table and gently touches my hand. "Yes, you can. You have to."
I wipe my cheeks. "How will I know where she is? How will I know who she is?"
"If you are meant to save her, you'll just know." Tyler smiles.
I look at him. "It's all up to fate with you, huh?"
He leans back. "Fate is everything,"
I nod slowly. "Fate is everything." I repeat his words.

I sit at the dinner table, and poke at my meat loaf. I am not hungry at all. My thoughts are running. How will I know?
It seems I am at an all time low. I can't stop thinking of three people. Tyler. Vince. And, of course, Suicide Girl. Not a day will go my from now on that I don't think of her. She will affect every thought, action and move I make from now on. Everything has changed so much since I found that notebook.
Rohn give me a look. "Are you okay, Jessica?"
I look at him, trying not to show any emotion at all. "Perfect,"
He glances at my food. "Are you hungry?"
Dare I lie? "No, I'm not hungry," I reply flatly.
Mother takes in a sharp breath. "Are you feeling well?"
"I am fine, Mother." I say.
"Are you?" Rohn presses.
"Yes." I mix my peas and mashed potatoes together.
Rohn leans on the table. "Do you need to talk?"
I look back to him. "Rohn, when a person says they're fine, can't you just leave it at that?"
Mother gasps. "Jessica Edmons!" She says, using Rohn's last name as mine. "Don't speak to your father that way!"
"Mother, I am not using a tone. Also, Rohn is not my father, so please don't use his last name as my own."
"Jessica," Rohn says softly, trying to meet my calm tone. "Why don't you consider me your father?"
I note the slightest amount of sarcasm in his voice. Can't he just get the point that I just don't care?
"That depends, Rohn. Did you have sex with my mother to get her pregnant with me?" I set my fork down.
Jack looks at me. "Ew!"
"Jessica! Where on earth is this coming from?" Mother gasps.
I stand up. "I don't know, mother! Maybe from the fucking bastard that tried to kill me! Or maybe the fact that you married my fucking psychiatrist! What the fuck, mother?"
"Jessica! Don't use that language!" Rohn and Mom say together.
Jack sits back. "Fuck is a bad word."
I glare at him. "Shut up!"
Rohn stands up. "Jack, don't say that! Jess, what is going on?"
"Why can't I say fuck? Jessica can say it!" Jack says.
I lean in. "What the fuck?"
Mother yells. "Enough! Jack, go to your room! Jessica, go to your room and you’re grounded!"
"Fine!" I scream.