Suicide Note

"Jess," Mother calls. "Jack and I are home!"
They are down stairs, and I hear my nine year old half brother running around the living room.
I can't seem to find the words to reply to my mother. She'll be curious about that.
Oh crap. How do I speak? I need to call back to her to let her know that I am here and okay.
But I'm not okay. I'm not.
"Jess?" Mother calls.
What the hell am I going to do? Okay, I can get up and wave down the stairs to her. Wait, that won't help. Mother would wonder why I'm not talking.
Crap!
I hear her coming up the stairs. "Jess?" She says again.
Oh crap. I begin to panic again but then I glance over to my bed side table, and see my i-pod.
My mother peaks her head around the door, and sees me bobbing my head to nothing at all. But she doesn't know that. As far as she knows, I am listening to music though these head phones, and I didn't hear her before.
Mother smiles and shuts the door behind her as she walks away.
I rip the head phones out of my ears and moan.
She was totally oblivious to everything.
I grab the notebook and look at the cover again, trying once more to find a name. But still, there isn't one.
I sigh, and gently rub the cover of the notebook.
I pick up my cell phone and begin texting my friend Michelle.

Hey girl how’s practice going?

I hit send, knowing that the next break won't be for another fifteen minutes.