Nightmare

While everyone was talking, I sat in the corner and watched. all that went threw my mind was the image of Matt falling to the floor holding his chest. it played over and over again. I must have spaced out for awhile because when Jimmy snapped his fingers infront of my face, it was dark outside and only Matt and Jimmy were in the room.

"Vi, you okay? your crying again" Jimmy said. I felt my cheek, I was crying again.

"yeah, im fine" I lied.

"come on, ill take you home" he said, taking my hand and pulling me out of the chair. I walked over to Matt.

"ill meet you outside Jimmy" I told him, he nodded, said bye to Matt and walked out.

"you were pictureing it werent you?" Matt asked, I nodded. "Viola, please. stop blaming yourself. im fine. really. ill be home in just a few days"

"its still my fault. ill be back tomorrow. get some sleep" I said, kissing his cheek. I walked out before he could argue.

I found Jimmy and we had to walk home. Johnny and Brian took his car. neither talked for awhile, and I followed him. he started walking in this park. it was dark, so I grabbed his hand.

"Viola" he said, I looked at him "its not your fault. if it was any of us he'd do the same. he's a stubborn ass, theres no reason to fight with him"

"im stubborn as hell too Jimmy. and it is my fault, I didnt think my father would track the phone" I said.

"stop. he likes you Viola. thats why he did it! you the only one who hasnt seen it. the house to yourself, him asking you to come to his room, handcuffing you to Zacky until you begged to be switched to someone else. Viola, he's crazy for you. I have never seen him like this before"

"i cant" I told him.

"cant what Viola? be with him? why not?" Jimmy asked. wow he was persistant.

"because I just cant. I dont feel like talking about this Jimmy. how much longer until were home?"

"few minutes" he mumbled.

we walked in silence from there on. when we reached the house, I ignored everyone and went downstairs. I wasnt in the talking mood.

-few days later-
for the past few days, ive spent every hour at the hospital with Matt. everyone else came to visit, and Jimmy always brought me back to the house, then id walk right downstairs and not talk to anyone. I hardly talked to Matt either. today, he was coming home though. today was also the funeral for my father. though I hated him, I still had to go. I got to the hospital in my black dress with black heels, with Mel and Dukie behind me.

"we borrowed your car. I hope its okay" I said, he nodded.

"Jimmy's on his way to take you come" Dukie added.

"im not going home" he said. "im coming to the funeral with you guys"

"Matt, your just getting out of the hospital. your going home" I ordered.

"Jimmy, Brian, Johnny and Zacky are coming too. theyre all in there suits and there bringing mine. were going and your going to like it" he said.

"Mathew, you can hardly walk!"

"its called a wheelchair Viola!"

Jimmy walked in holding Matt's suit. "the guys are in the car"

"go sign me out while I get changed" Matt said, Jimmy nodded "Viola help me to the bathroom"

"im against this" I said, but helped him anyway. once he was changed, Jimmy got the wheelchair he brought and rolled Matt out of the hospital.

they followed us to the funeral and when we got there, they tried there best to be supportive. though we hated him, he was still our father. there was a massive amount of people there, but thats what happens when your parents are famous.

"I feel bad being here. were kinda the reason he's dead" Brian whispered. I shrugged. I cried a little, just when they were lowering him. Matt took my hand.

when it finished, we said goodbye to my mother and went to the cars.

"everyone go in the other cars. I would like to talk to Viola alone" Matt said, so I guess I was driving him home. Jimmy helped him into the car, against his will. he was too stubborn. I began to drive. "talk to me"

"what?" I said.

"you look like you havnt slept in a few days" he mentioned.

wow. thanks for basically saying I look like shit!

"I havnt. every time I close my eyes I see your body laying on the floor. bleeding"

"not tonight. your staying with me" he said.

"well duh. ill be the one taking care of you. your on bedrest for a week" I mentioned.

"fuck" he mumbled.

when we reached the house, no one else was home. Matt wouldnt let me help him out of the car, or into the wheelchair, or into the house, or up the stairs, or into the wheelchair again, or into his room or onto his bed. he wanted to help me onto the bed.

"stop being so fucking self dependant!" I told him "you were shot. im taking care of you. stop"

"sorry" he whispered. "come here"

I leaned closer to him, and he pulled me closer. he gently placed his lips on mine again. he hasnt kissed me since he was put into the hospital. mostly because I was across the room.

"stop ignoring everyone. ive been talking to them. Brain says youd get home, ignore everyone and go downstairs. wouldnt come out for everything. he said Dukie's been staying in his room and Mel in Jimmy's. and he says he's been hearing you crying and screaming. he might act like he hates you, but he doesnt. he's worried about you Viola"

"he shouldnt be. im fine" I said.

"no your not! dont lie to my Viola" Matt said. I saw some anger in his eyes.

"im going to get you some food and something to drink" I told him. I hopped off the bed and went downstairs. everyone was in the living room.

I went over to Brian first, and kissed his cheek. then Jimmy, Johnny and even Zacky. after, I went into the kitchen and cooked everyone dinner. while they ate, I brought some to Matt.

after eating and cleaning up, everyone decided to turn in early. I got changed and went to check on Matt again.

"do you need anything before I go to bed?" I asked, he stared at me.

"come lay with me for a little?" he asked, I couldnt say no. he was hurt because of me!

I climbed onto the bed and layed next to him. he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. I was leaning on his shoulder. he kissed the top of my head.

"get some sleep. your safe here" he whispered to me, and closed his eyes.

I closed mine, and for the first time in awhile, I didnt have nightmares.