Farewell to Shady Glade

I awoke the next morning, naked and alone. I rubbed my eyes of sleep, remembering the night before, and wondering where Shayley had gone. As soon as the thought occurred, the shower began to run as loud as if I was standing right next to it. The door must've been open, and I wondered why he would leave it open. To wake me? For me to come in? I got out of bed, bringing the sheet with me, and went to the bathroom. Shayley was standing in front of the mirror, with just a towel around his waist, staring at his reflection. I went to the door frame, staring at him, and leaned in the doorway. "Why do you love me?" he asked, still staring at his own reflection. I leaned into the room, just enough to see my reflection behind his.
"I love you because you're amazing. Your voice is pure angels singing, your guitar work is phenomenal, you are one of the most kind and down to Earth people I know. You're Shayley Bourget, and you're mine." I said, walking ever so slowly towards him, and with my last words, I wrapped my arms around him. He turned in my arms, and cradled me against his chest. He smiled down at me, and I smiled back at him.

Our day was spent with one another, just loving each other and being ourselves. We made it just in time for bus call, with Jaxin on our tails about almost being late. "What the hell could you guys have been doing all day?!" he exclaimed, his whole body turned from the passenger seat, scolding us. We just laughed, Jaxin was never angry, and I couldn't really tell if he was serious or not. He turned back around in his seat, pouting to himself because Jaxin angry couldn't really do much to anyone. The rest of the guys just smirked at us, at Jaxin, whatever the case was. Phil watched us from the back seat, as we lay down on the floor of the van and Shayley took me in his arms. I didn't care that Phil was watching with careful eyes, or that Tino was watching us with amused ones. All I cared about was Shayley's eyes on mine, and the happiness erupting from the core of my soul.

This much happiness coming from one person could make someone sick, insane. It couldn't be real, having these people close to me, and having something that meant everything to me. To find the love of my life through my best friends, the job of a lifetime, and to just have everything I could want. This something, this happiness, could not possibly be real. Not in my life, not in the life of Christine White. Something was going to happen soon, something that would ruin this all for me. I could feel it.

Time was speeding up. Everything went by in blurs and patches, just because of how happy I was. Soon enough, we were heading back to California, heading back to home. How fast tour flew by made me apprehensive. Was I not paying enough attention to my work? To the people around me? Where had my time gone? Oh, that's right, with Shayley. I wasn't complaining, but it concerned me. This was not something I could do. Wrap myself up with one person, rely on them to the extent that I couldn't be mere hours away from them, and latch on for dear life. This wasn't something I was supposed to do with my life. What happened when we went home? Did Shayley just pack up for my place? Or did I pack up for his? Did it even come down to that? Being home would probably cause more problems then it was worth.

I hadn't talked to Austin since he left tour. It was probably bad practice for a friend not to talk for weeks on end, especially when Austin gave me all I had. I could pass off not talking to him due to tour and being busy, but in all reality, it was because of Shayley, and how wrapped up I was in him. I mentally chastised myself for letting it get this far. If there was going to be an end to the unbreakable latch I had on Shayley, talking to Austin could be the first step towards it.

Something was wrong. I couldn't find Shayley all day. After unloading the equipment van for morning, Shayley strayed, something he never did. My mind was racing and I was a wreck. I was being hypocritical, I wanted to try and break away, but in reality, it was a lot easier said then done. Shayley was very addictive, just the way he acted, how he was around me, everything. I didn't really want to quit Shayley, so why try? Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't seen him all day, but regardless, I needed to find him.

I felt like I was chasing smoke, and as much as I tried, I never even got close. Searching for Shayley was worse then I could've ever assumed. Did he not want to be found? "Maybe he's just trying to get his head on straight." Tino tried to tell me, to help me. I sighed, and finally sat down next to him after minutes of pacing.
"Head on straight about what?" I said aloud, not really wanting an answer.
"Probably the same things you need to." He said, being a lot more prophetic then normal. I looked over to him, and he was looking at the ground. I nudged his side and he looked up at me, and I hugged him as much as I could on the couch we were both sitting on. He laughed at me, hugging me back, and left with a smile on his face. He was giving me my own time to mull things over.

Why was I freaking out? Nothing was a big deal. I was happy, and hopefully Shay was too. There wasn't anything I could do to make him come back, nothing I could do to really help him if he didn't need to be helped. This was the time I wanted, to be alone and to get my head straight like Tino suggested that Shayley was doing right now. I sighed and crossed my legs on the couch, and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back. The only problem I really had was the fact that we were going home. Home, where I had everything in safe keeping. Home, where I stayed to help out my parents in their prime. Home, where everything was content. I knew Shayley had his own place, which he shared with Jaxin when they were both home. How did I fit into the equation? How did he fit into mine? I guess those questions were ones that had to be answered together, and when the time came.

Shayley came strolling backstage, where I had been sitting on the couch all day, and sat next to me. His face looked like he had thought all day, but about what? I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he put his on top of mine and grabbed my hand. "What's wrong?" I asked aloud after minutes of us sitting together.
"What about home?" he asked me, posing the question I had in my mind all day. I smiled at him, even if he couldn't see it. I moved my head and he lifted his from on top of mine. I moved so my whole body was facing him, and the couch was big enough for him to do the same. He took my hands again in the middle of both of our crossed legs. I looked up at him, but he was staring at our hands together.
"What about home?" I asked him and he looked at me.
"What are we going to do?" he asked and I just looked at him. I had the same questions, but couldn't really come up with the answers.
"Could you be more specific?" I asked, crunching my face up at his vagueness and my inability to answer him. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I waited.
"I love you, you know." He said and I laughed, blushing. I just nodded. "I want to be with you for a long time. Today was just… nerve wracking with you not around, I don't know what I could do without you." He confessed, and I smiled, blushing again. I started to play with his fingers, hoping he wouldn't look up and see my love struck smile. "I want to live with you, or try it out, just to see." He said and I let go of his fingers. He looked up at me then, and I lunged at him, hugging him full force, knocking him back into the couch. He started laughing at me, not moving to get up. We both lay there, on the too small couch for cuddling, awkwardly placed.
"I can get used to this." I mumbled into his chest.
"So is that a yes?" he asked, stroking my hair. I smiled at him.
"Yes, sir, it is. Who's place, yours or mine?" I asked, and laughed.
"Mine, of course." He said. "Hope Jax doesn't mind." He said, more sarcastic then normal. I laughed again.
"Oh, I don't think he'll care." I said and smiled. Jaxin cared more then the rest of us about each others happiness. As long as everyone was okay, I didn't think he would mind, or the remaining members of the band for that matter.

It was dark outside, turning cold on the Western coast of the country. Austin was one of the first in my phonebook, and the green call button felt unused. He picked up on the second ring. "Chris? Is this you?" he asked, in awe. I couldn't tell if it was real or not.
"Yeah, it's me Austin." I said and he sighed. Why was he so anxious to talk to me? "How are you?" I asked.
"Me? I'm fine. Just need some surgeries on my heart sooner or later, no biggie. I thought you'd call me sooner, when are you guys coming back?" he said a mile a minute.
"Breathe Austin." I said with a nervous chuckle. He inhaled and exhaled loud enough for me to hear. "We head back into California tomorrow." I said and his breathing started getting heavier. "Austin, are you okay? Calm down." I said, worried about him.
"I'm excited to see everyone again!" he exclaimed, sounding a little too eager. "Where in California?" he asked. I sat there, not even remembering the first stop. "Chris!?" he exclaimed, and I jumped, not expecting it.
"Anaheim." I remembered and I could just see his smile.
"Awesome! I'm coming to the show. Tell the guys they've got their vocalist back!" he virtually screamed in my ear and the line went dead. I took my phone away from my ear, just staring at the device, wondering what happened to my best friend and how much of a shit fest the next show was going to be.