Farewell to Shady Glade

It was just Shay and I, sitting on the curb behind the venue. I was staring into his blue eyes, and he was staring back into mine. I sighed and looked away. "What did you do to Austin?" I asked, again. I puffed on the cigarette in my hand and he puffed on his. He sighed with the exhale.
"I roughed him up." He said again. I groaned and looked to the sky. It was unnaturally blue, but unnatural because I hadn't seen the Californian sun in months. I missed home.
"How roughed up?" I asked, not caring about any beating around the bush. Shayley was being annoyingly frustrating with his vague answers.
"I don't know really." He said and I looked to him. He looked back at me, and looked like he was telling the truth. "I just left him there." He said and shrugged, taking another puff of his cigarette. I sighed and felt tears run down my face. He must've looked back at me, because he started shushing me and put his arm around me, pulling me into him. I sighed and stopped the tears. "Why are you crying?" he asked and I could hear the humor in his voice. I sniffed and cuddled into him as much as I could.
"I don't even know." I said with a shaky laugh. I wasn't about to confess my thoughts to Shayley. Not for fear of being even more of the victim then I was. I hated being vulnerable, I hate being so dependant. This whole situation was my fault; the rape, Austin being how he was, what happened with him and Shay, everything. I didn't want to be the victim anymore; I wanted to be myself again.

I wasn't allowed to be alone anymore. I always had Jaxin, Shayley, or one of the other guys with me at all times. Being alone ended in one of the worst things in previous times, which is why everyone was tailing me. I didn't have time for myself, time to think, time to just mull over things in my head. Good thing we were going home in a few days. I needed it now more then ever.

It was the last show of the tour, and I couldn't have been happier. I wanted to be home, to be with my family and ones that loved me for everything. I hadn't told them about what had happened with my childhood friend, and I didn't know if I could. They would hate him, and some would look at me so much different. I couldn't deal with that, not now, not when it was so close.

I raged all night long. Going to shows was what I did to cope with things in my life. Being front and center for the band I worked with was not a change. Screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs with sweaty kids all around me was what I lived for. None of the guys had known I'd be watching their set, I didn't care that my duties were being put on the back burner for the night. The looks on their faces when they saw me freak out when their opening track came on. It made everything disappear, for just those mere minutes in time when I could scream to my favorite band, when we were closer then ever.

Shayley sang to me. His voice erupting in octaves I had never heard before, his gaze never leaving mine when he sang his verses, and screamed his words. It made me fall in love all over again. My gaze never left his, earning a smile each and every time he sang. My heart soared for this boy, and nothing could ever hurt me. Not even Austin, not the rape, none of the aftermath. In that moment, everything was alright.

The drive home was a lot shorter then I thought it would be. Being cradled in Shayley's arms for the whole ride, not wanting to even think about letting him go. "The bus is going to stay at Phil's for the time being, so we're just going to drop everyone off on our way." Jerry said when we got off the highway. I groaned out loud, sitting up and away from Shayley. I looked back at him, and he was pouting. I laughed. Everyone looked at me with the sound of it.
"What?" I said out loud as Shayley sat up next to me, grabbing my hand from where it was resting on his leg.
"You're laughing." Someone said from behind me, either Phil, or Tino, I didn't pay attention who. I blushed, not even knowing why, and they laughed at me. I shrugged, facing Shayley and grabbing both of his hands as everyone got their belongings together.
"Now what?" I asked, leaning into him and resting my forehead on his.
"That's a question for tomorrow." He said with a chuckle as we turned through the suburban streets of California towards home.

I walked into my house, everything in darkness, with just my bag and myself. Shayley wanted to come with me, to spend the night, afraid of how I would react to being alone for the first time since that night. He went home, much to his protests and my whining, but I was already missing him. I walked further into my house, remembering the layout and trying not to bump into anything. There was a light flooding into the hallway from the kitchen, and I made my way towards it. I peered around the corner, seeing the few people standing there. My mother looked the same, dark hair, graying around the edges and a happy, wise face. My father had passed previous years, so I was just expecting her, and maybe one my brothers. However, the other person with her made me stop in my tracks. "Austin?" I breathed and my mother yelped at my sudden appearance. Austin turned towards me, his face a mere shadow of itself. The damage that Shayley did to Austin was a lot more then "roughen him up." His face was still swollen in areas, completely purple from bruising in others. None of it was his face. His lips were cracked from Shayley's fists colliding with them, both eyes near slits. When did it happen? A couple days ago? Wouldn't he have healed by now? My mouth was open wide, my eyes starting to water. My mother came running over to me in the time I saw Austin's face, realized he was standing in my kitchen. She embraced me, hugging me around the neck, kissing my cheeks. I shook my head, hugging her back, keeping my gaze locked on Austin's form coming closer to me. I could feel the tears coming down my face, and I went to wipe them away, but Austin made it first. He brushed away my tears, and I could feel my skin burn from the trace of his fingers. I stepped away from my mother, who looked pained for a moment, and smiled down at her. She smiled then, all traces of hurt gone from her face. "Hi mom." I said, ignoring the complete and utter disgust in my kitchen known as Austin Carlile.
"Chris, why didn't you call? I had no idea when you'd be home. If it wasn't for Austin, I would've been staying up for nights on end." She said with a smile. I just looked to Austin briefly and back to her. He was smiling like it was Christmas morning when all I wanted to do was shoot him in the face.
"Sorry mom, you know how things get." I said, keeping things clipped, wanting to run. "I just really need to get to bed, we can catch up tomorrow. You need your sleep and I need mine." I said, trying to smile. She scoffed.
"You can catch up now! Austin misses you too, you know." She said, ushering me to the dining room table, turning the lights on as she went.
"I'm sure he does." I whispered, looking right at him with the most murderous glare I had in me. He just smiled at me, smirking. My mother called us both into the room beyond, and I didn't bother to move. I wouldn't let this scum out of my sight, not for fear of what he would do to me. He walked out of the kitchen and into the other room, laughing to himself.
"So how was it?!" my mother exclaimed. She sat down and Austin sat down next to her, looking me and up down. I closed my eyes, not saying a word.
"Mom, I'll be right down, talk to Austin for a minute." I said and walked away, much to her protests.

Once I was out of the light, I ran for any sort of safe haven. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket while I heard Austin's laughter chiming in from downstairs. I started to cry. I called someone who I thought would be home first, someone who would know what to do and keep a solid head about everything. "Tino, please. Come to my house, Austin is here." I whispered, afraid that Austin would hear me. Tino swore under his breath.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." He said quickly and hung up. I came out of the room, walking down the stairs, using all the courage I had to keep my cool in front of my mother.
"Finally!" my mother exclaimed as I sat down next to her, my eyes still trained on Austin's face. "So, how was it? You've been gone so long!" she gushed. I sighed and began to speak; just waiting, burning time till any sort of salvation came.