Arachne in Blunderland
Hip Hip Hooray for
...My freinds. As much as I hate them... And some of them I really, really do... They make it so much easier to drag myself out of my room each day.
...Today and tomorrow. Because life really does suck, and it was really hard to let go, and it's not getting any easier, but I like knowing that there ARE people worth seeing. They are people who complete certain aspects of me. That's not to say I couldn't function without them, but they do make everyday 'penultimate' rather than 'ultimate'... I'm still alive right? (That and _____'ll be back in about six hours. Yay!)
...Sound. I think that if I were without music (Yes, they're music in particular) I'd be that girl again. Do any of you remember when I was 'ThatGirl'? That's because I killed her. I'm not wearing blue in the corner anymore. And I don't plan to again. If you miss her however, her picture's on the wall in my office.
...YOU, You, You, You, You and you. None of you will ever be able to fully appreciate how you've affected me, but I want to let you know that you have and that I am the kind of girl who remembers forever and... Sigh. I'm on an Emo rant aren't I? That's another!
...Emo. Look, while I don't fall under ALL pf it's stereotypes, I respect the fact that I'm pretty damn emo. And why shouldn't I be?! I love the way that boys look when they're all black and hair-dyed, eye-lined, girlie jeans and prettier than me. I love the way they pretend to be deep, and some actually are. They way they wear their t-shirts too tight and their hair in their faces and they know exactly what I'm talking about, at any given time, not just smiling and nodding. When they walk in the room and people pretend to play their 'wrist violins' and cry. I'm proud of these boys. I'm proud of their dreams and aspirations and garage bands. (I'm not proud, however, of the ones who feel like drugs and alcohol and sex, sex, sex! are the answers to their pain. No one should depend on chemical answers to their organic problems... And shut up, no one asked you, Gerard... These aren't what I consider 'emokids'. These are just losers. I'm also not proud of emogirls... What annoying little Sadistic Lollipop Ubiquitous Toasters!) I like emo, okay?! It's a label that I'd actually buy into.
...Technology. Oh, where would e be without cellular devices, computers and MP3 players? We'd be reading books and actually learning something! *sarcasm* And who wants that?
...Me! You talk to me! But would you kill me in my sleep? Lay still like the dead! from the razor to the rosary, we can lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red...
Ugh... I should gone to bed three hours ago.
Good night everybody...
*EmoBoy of the Female Persuasion*
And seriously, ya'll. I need those songs!
Hours later...
Somebody please just tell me they love me, that I'm not worthless, that I make them feel better and I'm not as scary as 'they' have often said I am. Somebody tell me I'm awesome and they like being around me and that it's okay to be this loser I undoubtedly am and I'm really not as pretty as 'they' thought I'd be, but that you like me anyways.
I don't know why, but I need to hear something superficial and positive. and the self'proclaimed 'cool' I keep saying I am? I'm faking it all.
*NO self-esteem*
...Today and tomorrow. Because life really does suck, and it was really hard to let go, and it's not getting any easier, but I like knowing that there ARE people worth seeing. They are people who complete certain aspects of me. That's not to say I couldn't function without them, but they do make everyday 'penultimate' rather than 'ultimate'... I'm still alive right? (That and _____'ll be back in about six hours. Yay!)
...Sound. I think that if I were without music (Yes, they're music in particular) I'd be that girl again. Do any of you remember when I was 'ThatGirl'? That's because I killed her. I'm not wearing blue in the corner anymore. And I don't plan to again. If you miss her however, her picture's on the wall in my office.
...YOU, You, You, You, You and you. None of you will ever be able to fully appreciate how you've affected me, but I want to let you know that you have and that I am the kind of girl who remembers forever and... Sigh. I'm on an Emo rant aren't I? That's another!
...Emo. Look, while I don't fall under ALL pf it's stereotypes, I respect the fact that I'm pretty damn emo. And why shouldn't I be?! I love the way that boys look when they're all black and hair-dyed, eye-lined, girlie jeans and prettier than me. I love the way they pretend to be deep, and some actually are. They way they wear their t-shirts too tight and their hair in their faces and they know exactly what I'm talking about, at any given time, not just smiling and nodding. When they walk in the room and people pretend to play their 'wrist violins' and cry. I'm proud of these boys. I'm proud of their dreams and aspirations and garage bands. (I'm not proud, however, of the ones who feel like drugs and alcohol and sex, sex, sex! are the answers to their pain. No one should depend on chemical answers to their organic problems... And shut up, no one asked you, Gerard... These aren't what I consider 'emokids'. These are just losers. I'm also not proud of emogirls... What annoying little Sadistic Lollipop Ubiquitous Toasters!) I like emo, okay?! It's a label that I'd actually buy into.
...Technology. Oh, where would e be without cellular devices, computers and MP3 players? We'd be reading books and actually learning something! *sarcasm* And who wants that?
...Me! You talk to me! But would you kill me in my sleep? Lay still like the dead! from the razor to the rosary, we can lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red...
Ugh... I should gone to bed three hours ago.
Good night everybody...
*EmoBoy of the Female Persuasion*
And seriously, ya'll. I need those songs!
Hours later...
Somebody please just tell me they love me, that I'm not worthless, that I make them feel better and I'm not as scary as 'they' have often said I am. Somebody tell me I'm awesome and they like being around me and that it's okay to be this loser I undoubtedly am and I'm really not as pretty as 'they' thought I'd be, but that you like me anyways.
I don't know why, but I need to hear something superficial and positive. and the self'proclaimed 'cool' I keep saying I am? I'm faking it all.
*NO self-esteem*