Arachne in Blunderland
Masochist.
It is not in my nature to say everything I want.
It is not my way to do what I feel.
So you have to understand how painful it is for me to be around you.
How much it hurts me when you stop midsentence and beeline for her.
How very unfair it is for me to keep thinking about what you said because you reminded me.
You have to believe me when I say this is harder for me than for you.
To believe that when I ask you something, I sincerely want an answer.
That I was more thrilled to see you that I didn't notice you misparked and nearly hit the bike kid.
You have to comprehend that I will do everything I can to help you, even if I start failing because I cannot speak, think, or otherwise because you're there.
That I'm trying.
That I'm doing everything within my power NOT to try.
You have to understand that, like some author I cannot remember said, being like this is 'exquisite pain' and I'm only human.
And that when I think the ever popular words 'I love you', because you'll never hear me say it again and I don't know how else to say it, that I'm as close to meaning it as I'll ever be with anyone.
*MelodramaticHonesty*
It is not my way to do what I feel.
So you have to understand how painful it is for me to be around you.
How much it hurts me when you stop midsentence and beeline for her.
How very unfair it is for me to keep thinking about what you said because you reminded me.
You have to believe me when I say this is harder for me than for you.
To believe that when I ask you something, I sincerely want an answer.
That I was more thrilled to see you that I didn't notice you misparked and nearly hit the bike kid.
You have to comprehend that I will do everything I can to help you, even if I start failing because I cannot speak, think, or otherwise because you're there.
That I'm trying.
That I'm doing everything within my power NOT to try.
You have to understand that, like some author I cannot remember said, being like this is 'exquisite pain' and I'm only human.
And that when I think the ever popular words 'I love you', because you'll never hear me say it again and I don't know how else to say it, that I'm as close to meaning it as I'll ever be with anyone.
*MelodramaticHonesty*