Can't Have You

Yesterday was a mess. I slept on 3 o'clock in the morning because I had to to pack my clothes for New York. Dani helped me with the clothes and Kevin helped me packing my belongings. And they ended up sleeping in my room. Kevin was sleeping on the couch and Dani was on the bed with me. They're so nice. Well, maybe they weren't comfortable seeing a girl who just turned to 15 a few weeks ago, packing her stuff all alone.

And Nick.

Um, he didn't come up again after the 'accident'. Well, he'd came up but just to say goodnight and then he left again. I didn't know where he was going. So I just stayed up in my room with Kevin & Dani and packed my stuff. I really wanted to go down and talked with him, but I got no time.

And Milo called me. On 6 AM. He's just a silly guy. He talked to me when I was going to leave and told me to call him when I land. Okay, I had no idea why was he staying in New York. All I knew was just he's not living in New York. He went to MIT in Boston. Then why would he stay in New York? He could be so weird sometimes.

"You know what, we have to get out from here soon." Joe said as Big Rob came and stood in front of him. Yeah, the parents changed the plan. Big Rob had to come with us. I guess they didn't trust Joe to watch me and Nick as long as we stay here.

"Yeah, and we need to have lunch. Who's starving? Me." I muttered.

"Me too." Nick added and I gave him a small smile. We walked together to the outside and the paparazzi started to walk closer. Camera and flash all around and it's starting to dazzle my eyes.

"Closer to me." Nick said and suddenly he took my hand and held it tight. Joe walked behind me while Big Rob walked before us and tried to make the paparazzi go away which is so hard to do.

"Make a room." Big Rob said, trying to make the paparazzi go. Then a black SUV came up and Joe helped Big Rob to put the luggage in the trunk.

"Done?" Nick asked and Joe answered it with a nod. Nick released my hand and opened the back seat door for me. I got in and after talked with Big Rob for a while, he got in. The paparazzi was still there, taking pictures of us and asking question. But Nick and Joe didn't say anything. They just smiled and shut their mouth.

"I need Starbucks." Joe said as he sat on my left and yawned. By that time, my phone buzzed and I searched my phone in my bag. When I got it, I looked at the screen. It's Milo.

"Yes?" I answered and the car started to move.

"Hey. Where are you now, Sis?" He asked.

"Just left from the airport." I answered and Nick mouthed 'who?' to me and I mouthed back 'Milo'.

"Oh." There's a silence, "I'm at the Broadway street. Can we meet at Starbucks?" He asked. I though about it for a second. Joe needed Starbucks but Nick and I were so tired.

"Can't. How about at the Hilton Hotel, Manhattan?" I asked back at him. There's a silence again and I waited for him to answer.

"Okay. See-"

"Wait!" I cut him off, "Can you bring Strawberry Frappucino for Joe?" I asked again and by that time, Joe turned to see him. His eyes lit up and a smile appeared on his face. He really needed Starbucks.

"Sure. See ya, sis. Love you."

"Love you too, bro." I hung up and shoved my phone into my bag. Joe still had his eyes lit up while Nick gave me and him a questioning look, "Milo asked me to catch up at Starbucks. But I can't. I mean, we can't. So, I asked him to meet us at the hotel. Is that alright?" I explained to them before they could ask me.

"But I need coffee!" Joe said and threw his hands up in the air.

"No, Joe. You need coffee but WE need to rest." Nick added and I nodded my head.

"Yep." I said, plopping the 'p', "We'd need to rest." I said as I leaned back on the seat. Joe sighed and muttered 'fine'.

"You tired, huh?" Nick asked and turned his gaze to see me. I nodded at him and let out a tired sigh.

"May I borrow your shoulder for a while?" I asked at him and glanced at Joe who's now already slept.

"Why not?" He shrugged and I laid my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes for a while and then took a deep breath.

"Thanks, Nick."

"I'll wake you up when we get there" he said as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay then." I said before drifted into my dream land.

-Can't Have You-

"But I have to! He broke my heart into million pieces! I can't just stand here and watch it!" I shouted and shook my head.

"But what about me? Your parents? And the other people? They need you here, Jane." She asked me again, still trying to change my mind. But why did she call my middle name?

"I'm not going to change my mind. I have to do this." I insisted and put my clothes on the bag.

"No, Jane. You have to change your mind. You can't leave it all behind."

"Sorry. But I have to. I guess, the only thing I have to do now is just leave." I said as I packed more clothes and zipped the bag.

"Please don't. You should stay." She begged me. I put my coat on and grabbed my phone then put it on my messenger bag.

"Why are you acting like this? Is that-"

"Stop it, okay?! Don't make it so hard to leave this goddamn place! I'm just going to take a vacation. I need to refresh my mind!" I cut her off and my eyes watered.

"I still don't want you to leave, Jane." I grabbed my bags and walked out from my room then straight to the family room.

"Please. Don't go." I turned around as she said that.

"I can't, okay? Just don't tell anyone about this. I trust you all this time. So, please." I said and gave her the last hug.

She took a breath, "fine," she muttered. I murmured a 'thanks' then walked out from the house. I looked at the house for the last time and took a deep breath again. Yeah, I absolutely sure that I did the right thing.

"Call me." She yelled from the porch as I got into the cab. I nodded and gave her the last look. My eyes scanned all around the neighborhood and found his car. What was he doing here?

"Stop the car!!" He yelled and ran towards my cab. I buried my face in my hands and let out a loud sigh.

"What do you want?!" I yelled as he opened the back door and looked at me.

"Where are you going? Why are leaving?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

I sighed and let out a sigh, "it's none of your business. Now just let me go." I pushed him out and closed the door, "Go." I told the driver and we left. I let my tears rolled down to my cheek and closed my eyes for a while. Why was it so hard to leave him?

"Layla! You okay?" Suddenly my eyes opened and sweat drifted through my body. I looked at my right and Joe sat there. He had his worried look on his face and the last thing I know, we weren't in the car again.

"Where are we?" I asked as I turned to face him.

"Hotel." He answered shortly then sipped his coffee, "actually, I suggested Nick to wake you up but he said no." I gave him a questioning look, "he didn't want to wake you up cause you looked so tired so he carried you up here."

I nodded slowly and asked, "where is he now?"

Joe was about to open his mouth but Nick cut him off, "I'm here." He said after shut the door then sat on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks for not waking me up." I said to him and he just rolled his eyes, "I'm not kidding."

He smiled and nodded, "Milo brought you this." He handed me a Starbucks cup. I looked at the cup and noticed that it was a hot chocolate.

"Thanks." I said before sipped it, "where's he now?" I asked then sipped it again.

"He's at the cafe near this hotel. Maybe about 1 block away." Joe answered and stood up from the bed then walked towards the window.

I stood up from the bed and put my sweater on. I grabbed grabbed my bag and put my hair in a ponytail.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked and sat up.

"I'm starving, you know." I said and turned around to see him, "Who wants to come?" Joe shook his head and Nick nodded, "Good. Come on."

I slipped my hand into his and we walked out of our hotel room and to the elevator. The elevator doors opened and we walked in. He pressed for the main floor as I tapped my feet.

"Do you like music?" He asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Of course. Who doesn't like music in this world? You? Imposibble." I answered then chuckled.

"No. I mean, my music. Me and my brothers music." He asked again and the elevator doors opened. We walked out to the lobby then straight to the outside, to the New York's busy sidewalk.

I breathed the cold, snowy air, "I don't know." I answered his last question and silenced for a while, "I've never been listened to your songs before that concert." I looked down and didn't wanna look at him.

He just silenced, "but I like When You Look Me In The Eyes and Please Be Mine. Those songs are incredible!" I added and when I looked at him, he was smiling.

"Those are my favorite songs too." He said and looked at me. I smiled and kissed his cheek as we kept walking on the sidewalk.

"You know what, I missed this. I missed spending time with you. It's been a while, Nick." I said as we crossed the street.

"Me too." He said and smiled to me. We got into a cafe and found Milo sitting there. He was eating a burger. Alone.

"Milo!" I greeted him and he turned to see me and his eyes lit up.

"Layla!" He stood up and gave me a hug. We pulled back and I sat in front of him while Nick beside me. I ordered an ice tea and a burger.

"How are you, girl? I miss you so much." He said as he sipped his drink.

"Fine." I said shortly and shrugged, "how's your college? I thought you're in MIT."

"I am. But I'm here to meet my girlfriend's family." He said then smiled.

"Your girlfriend's family?" I asked with eyes lit up and he nodded. I could not believe this. He's already having a girlfriend! Thanks, God.

"How's with you, Nick?" He asked Nick and the waitress came with our order.

"How's what?" Nick asked back.

"Any girlfriend?" Milo asked and smirked at him. Nick chuckled and sipped his drink.

"Not yet." He answered shortly as I glanced at him.

"Why?" Milo asked again. Seriously, what the hell was happening with him? Why was he asking so much question?

"I'm still searching for the right girl. I already told you about the girl I'm looking for, right? I already met her but I guess it's not the perfect time." He said and I could feel he was glancing at me. And you know what, I suddenly felt jealous when he was saying that.

"Who's that girl? Why aren't you telling me about that?" I accidentally said that. Shit. What's happening with me? Why couldn't I control my tongue?

"I'll tell you later." Nick whispered to me. I really wanted to know about that girl. Who's she? Why wasn't Nick telling me about that girl?

"Okay." I muttered and started to eat my burger. Nick and Milo continued to talk about girlfriend thingy. I hated to say it, but I'd felt jealous when Nick was telling Milo about his dream girl. I mean, I really really wanted to know it.

"You know what, I think I should go. She is waiting for me. I'll see you later, 'kay?" Milo said as he called the waitress.

"Okay." Nick and I said in unison. We looked at each other and then smiled.

"Bye, sis, Nick." Milo said as he paid the bill and stood up then walked out from the cafe.

I continued to eat my burger until Nick cleared his throat and made me to look up at him, "what?" I asked.

"Ready to go?" He asked as I finished to eat and sipped my ice tea.

"Yeah." I stood up and slipped my hand into his again, "Where are we going?" I asked as we walked out from the cafe.

"I'm bored. But we're still heading to the hotel. It's not safe to walk around like this without Big Rob." He said and I just nodded.

"Okay then. I think I still need more sleep." I said to him and smiled playfully.

"You're such a sleepy head." He muttered.

"I heard that, Nick." I said then rolled my eyes.