Troubles

I'm standing outside the Way house. I'm not even sure if anyone will let me in, but at least I've gotta try. Gerard is sick; I wanna see if he's okay.

I knock on the door.
Mikey hasn't said a word to me since this morning. He gave me an angry look at lunch, then ignored me the entire break. He must've left quickly after school, because I didn't see him at all.

The light in the peep hole disappears and I straighten my back. I hear the locks rattle.
It's probably not Mikey opening.
The door opens.

“Hi, Frank,” Donna says, smiling tiredly. She looks worried; the way her eyebrows refuse to relax and her shoulders won't go down.

“Hi, Donna. Is Gerard here? I heard he was sick, and I just wanted to see if he's alright.”

“Oh, how nice of you,” she says quickly, almost cutting me off.
“He's in his room right now, just watching TV.”

I feel relieved hearing her say that.

“We're going to the doctor's tomorrow, but he says he feels fine, so that's a good sign.” She gives me a weak, tense smile and I smile back.
“Oh, come in,” she says surprised and steps back, making room for me. I step over the doorstep and dance around her so that she can close the door. The hallway isn't that wide.
“I'll go tell him you're here. You can just go wait in the living room,” she says smiling, then takes a step towards me. I quickly step into the living room so that she can get to the basement door. Then she disappears.
I turn around.

“Hello, Frank,” Donald says, smiles and nods at me and then turns back to the TV. The evening news are on. I waited to come visit until after dinnertime. I didn't want to intrude.

“Hi,” I say weakly, then look up at the photo of Gerard and Mikey as kids. I like that picture.

“Gerard says he's really tired, honey,” Donna says from behind me, and I quickly turn around to face her.
“Perhaps you could come back tomorrow after school? You're welcome to come and stay for dinner,” she says kindly. Her last word makes my stomach rumble, but it's low, so she doesn't hear it.

“Oh, sure. Thanks,” I say happily, even though I'm anything but. Why won't he see me? She said he's just watching TV, so he is awake. Okay, he's tired, but it's not like I'm gonna force him to go play catch with me or something.
Not like I actually play catch.

From around the corner, Mikey suddenly shows up. He looks up suddenly when he notices that there's another person in the room. For a brief millisecond, I expect him to snarl at me and tell me to leave, but instead, he just stares at me.

I'm still smiling from before, but I smile wider to tell him a wordless 'hi'.
He frowns, but only halfway – if that's possible – before he puts two and two together.

“Hi, cave man. Frank just came to say hi to Gerard, but unfortunately Gerard is too tired.”
Mikey looks at his mom.

“Is he okay?”
I want to frown, but instead just stay passive and stare. How can he ask that? He lives in the same house as him. He should know how Gerard is.

“He's fine, sweetie,” Donna says and reaches up to run a comforting hand through her tall son's hair.
“Why don't you take Frank into your room for a little while? So he won't feel like he came here for nothing.”

I try to smile, but just can't pull it off until I see Mikey nod. It looks forced and almost defiantly, but I take the chance and follow him into his room. He closes the door behind us, and even though the air between us is awkward and uncomfortable, I won't leave. I want us to be friends. I need to talk to him.
Mikey walks past me over to his desk.

“Listen, Mikes,” I say, take a step towards him and sit down on his bed.
“I'm sorry for being an ass this morning. I know I shouldn't have pressured it like that. I get now that you just wanna look on the bright side, so I'm sorry.”
He doesn't react.
“I really am.”

He turns around. He's looking at me like he's analyzing me. It's as if he's studying me with his eyes, trying to figure something out.
I look down at myself briefly.

“What?” I ask, looking into his concentrated eyes with confusion in my own.

“You don't know, do you?”
I frown.

“Know what?”
Mikey stops analyzing and look at me normally. Then shrugs.

“Nothing. Just forget it,” he says, then pulls out a deck of cards and goes to sit in front of me on his bed. Without a word being exchanged, we start playing poker. Or, our own version of poker. We started playing when we only knew half of the rules to the real game, so we kinda just invented the missing half and have played that ever since, even though we now know all the rules to the real game.

After half an hour, Mikey is close to winning and I'm trying desperately to regain some of my chocolate buttons.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? Mom won't mind,” he says nonchalantly. Even though his mom is cool, I doubt she's fine with me spending a school night here, but I never turn down an offer of warm bed.

“Sure.”
Mikey puts down his cards, takes his winnings and leaves the room without a word.
I hate how he's so good at a fake game.

I get up myself and walk down the hall to the bathroom. I quickly do my business while imagining Gerard emptying his bloody guts into the porcelain bowl. My stomach starts to hurt, and I start thinking of food to stop it from complaining. I haven't eaten since lunch.

When I get back to Mikey's room, he's already got a mattress on the floor for me and is unfolding a sheet.

“Hey,” he says over his shoulder.
“Mom says it's fine, as long as we go to bed now and as long as you call your mom and tell her you're staying here,” he says before he carelessly drops the sheet. It crumbles up and I make a mental note to straighten it out before I lie down. I've slept with a rock digging into my tail bone once, but lying on a crumbled sheet drives me nuts!

“Okay,” I say, then turn around and walk towards the kitchen where I know the phone is. The TV is blaring from the living room, but as soon as Donna and Donald hear my footsteps, the volume goes down.

“Hi, Frank. Go ahead and use the phone,” Donna calls from the living room, smiling at me. Even though there's a door connecting the living room to the kitchen, the acoustics are still horrible in the Way house.

I smile back as I take the phone from its holder on the wall. I look down at the numbers and glide my thumb over them.
I punch in 7 digits, then quickly press the hang-up button before it starts ringing. I put the phone to my ear and count to 10.

“Hi,” I say to the phone. I imagine someone would answer Oh, hi Frank. It's getting late. Are you still at the Way's?
“Yeah, I'm still here. Can I spend the night? It's okay with Donna and Donald.” I try to sound begging, as if I'm really trying to convince someone. Well, it's a school night.
“I know.” Have you done your homework?
“Yes,” I lie to my imaginary contact at the other end of the line. Okay. If it's okay with the Ways, it's okay with me. As long as you go to bed now.
“Thank you-” I close my lips and am about to hum, but stop myself. I can't say that word.
“G'night. Bye,” I say quickly and hang up the phone. I stare at it for a second, before I tear my eyes away from it.

I smile at Donna before I disappear down the hall. I walk slowly. I wish I had someone real to call and tell where I am. Someone who'd actually care about hearing that.