Troubles

The feeling in my gut won't go away. It doesn't exactly help that Gerard always seems to be where I am. He's in the kitchen when I help Donna with the groceries and he's in the living room when I watch a movie with Mikey. The only place he seems to not be is in the bathroom, so that's where I'm hiding out for a little while. I didn't really have to go, but I did so anyways, and now I'm taking my time washing my hands.

I look up at myself in the mirror. I look better than I did yesterday. Yesterday, I was dirty and hungry and tired. Today, I've showered, been given more food than I could eat – which made me feel guilty for wasting food – and I slept in a warm, soft bed last night.

I'm better.

But I know it won't necessarily stay that way. We have already contacted the police about my mother, but they said she had no belongings on her. They also said we have to report my case to social services on Monday. That's the day after tomorrow.

I've only heard bad things about social services. They either screw you over or send you away. I heard of a homeless guy at the shelter who was sent to a nursing home – not a good one, but one that was practically like a prison – after he had been trying to get social services to help him out financially for years.

That's what happens. If you contact social services and try to get help, they will only do the exact opposite. They will make your life hell.

But I won't stop Donald from calling them on Monday. I know I can't stay here. The fact that they're letting me stay here this weekend is more than enough. It's almost too much. I'm taking advantage of them. I never asked if it was okay – I just stayed.

How stupid of me. I shouldn't be that rude. Not only am I abusing their kindness, I'm also breaking their son's heart by not answering a simple question of whether I like him or not. And Mikey... I'm probably doing something wrong there too.

I just do the wrong things.

“Frank? Are you okay in there?” Donna asks from the other side of the door, startling me.

“Yeah,” I say. My hands are dry. That's how long I've been standing here. I've been thinking so long, and I've only come to one conclusion; I won't overstay my visit.