Troubles

“Hey, Frank?” I turn around and see Mikey come running. I smile at him while I, once again, feel the right pocket of my jacket to make sure the money are still in it. I feel the heavy coins and the crackling of the bills. I don't wanna lose them. They're Brian's, after all.
“Hey,” Mikey says again and stops in front of me; “where have you been?” he asks worriedly.
I look down briefly.

“I've stayed in Newark,” I say with a shrug. Mikey just frowns.

“In a shel-” he stops himself, and I'm relieved. I swallow down the sudden choking feeling in my throat and look around to see if anyone's staring. No one is. Everyone are walking past us.
“Why didn't you call or something? Mom would've called the police, but then Gerard came home and wouldn't say a thing. What happened? He found you, right?”
I nod.
“Well, what happened?”

I look around again. People are still just walking past us, but I still feel like everyone is gonna listen to our conversation.

“He asked me a question that I don't know how to answer. I mean, how am I supposed to know?” I say and then shrug. Even though the 'question' could be anything, I still feel that anyone who walks past can figure out that Gerard asked me to date him, and that would mean that I'm gay, and then whoever figured it out will go tell the entire school. Maybe say it over the PA-system or some shit like that.

“Know what?”

I look behind me and see an open door to what seemingly is an empty class room.
I look Mikey in the eye and nod towards the room. He nods. I walk into the room, finding that it is empty.
Mikey closes the door and I sit on the teacher's desk, facing him. He looks at me expectantly. I sigh heavily and look around the room, then down into my lap.

“So, what was the question?" he asks.
I sigh again.

“He asked me to be his boyfriend. And I,” I stop and look around, shaking my head in frustration.
“I've never even been in love. Ever! And then when I didn't answer him right away, he just got all quiet and almost acted as if I was saying no, but I'm not. I'm not saying yes yet either, but how can he just expect me to answer him right away, without giving it a single thought first, when I don't even know what to feel or-”

“Wow! Wow, wow, wow,” Mikey yells, stopping me mid-sentence. I look up at him to see that he's holding his head and looking at the floor. He looks shocked. What? I don't deserve to be Gerard's boyfriend? He can't believe that his brother could ever fall for someone like me?

Mikey looks up into my eyes. He almost looks scared all of the sudden.

“My brother is gay?” He does look scared. He looks frustrated and lost and angry and...hurt. I just stare at him for a few seconds, my mouth agape and my eyes fixed on his.

I blink.

“You don't know?” I ask, already knowing the answer. It's the stupidest question I could ever ask, but it's the only thing that's going through my head right now.

How can Mikey not know that his own brother is gay? Or, maybe Gerard isn't gay, but at least that he likes me – a guy. How can he not have told his own brother – the person in the world you would think he's closest to.

Mikey shakes his head and slowly walks over to the desk I'm sitting on and sits on the teacher's chair.

My stomach starts to hurt. Seeing Mikey like this hurts me, because I know he's hurting. It makes me uncomfortable to be in the room, but I can't leave. I know that he needs me right now. Even though I'm the one who just outed his brother to him and I'm the reason Gerard is even gay at all-

Wait. I might not be. Gerard might've been gay or bi for longer than any of us thought. The oddest thing is that I wasn't even shocked. I was shocked that he kissed me and then asked me to be his boyfriend, but the fact that it was a gay thing to do never shocked me.

Have I always, subconsciously, known that Gerard was attracted to guys?

He never told me. We were never really all that close. I mean, I'm Mikey's best friend, so I've met Gerard a bunch of times. We started eating lunch together about a year ago when Mikey met Ray and they hit it off really well, but Gerard and I have never really had a real conversation. We've participated in the same conversations, but we've never talked personally – or about anything personal.

How did I know?

“Why am I always the last to know these things?” Mikey asks, sadness and anger mixed together in his tone of voice. When he looks up at me, he looks frustrated, though.
“Gerard is gay and I have to hear it from you. You're homeless and I had to hear it from Gerard,” he says bitterly. It hurts when he basically says that I've kept things from him, but I let it pass off as him just being frustrated.

“Well, Ray and Bob doesn't know anything yet,” I say to encourage him, then suddenly realize that either of the brothers could easily have told the last two of the group.
“Right?” I ask, trying to hide my fear.

“But Gerard is my brother!” Mikey yells. I assume he hasn't told, since he doesn't react to my question. If he had told Ray or Bob, he would probably have looked up at me with a guilty look on his face. I think I know him enough to predict that.

Mikey looks up at me, but he doesn't look guilty.

“And you're my best friend,” he says, sadness suddenly taking over his voice. His eyes quickly turn red and he looks away to fight the tears. Suddenly, it doesn't seem very hard for him.

A click resonates throughout the room.

Mikey gets up quickly and takes two long steps over to the door. He pulls, but it doesn't open. He pulls again, then looks over his shoulder at me.

“We're locked in,” he says, before he starts pounding on the door.