Troubles

I open my eyes and look around the room. My sight is a little blurred from sleep; something I'm not used to. I don't usually sleep deep long enough for my eyes to develop that gooey stuff that I'm currently rubbing out of my eyes. I always sleep with one eye open.

When I look around, I immediately regret having slept.

I sit up abruptly and stare at the dark figure that moves around the room. My pulse immediately starts beating harshly in my neck and it feels like it's gonna explode. I try to swallow, but my throat is too dry.

The figure moves towards me and extends a hand. I try to get out of the bed, but I'm tied to something and I don't get very far away from the person who's now right next to me.
I close my eyes and hear nothing but the blood rushing through my ears.

Light floods through my eyelids and I draw my arms up in front of me to shield myself from whatever is coming.

But nothing is. No fists. No shoes. No knives.

I feel something on my shoulder and flinch away, but when I realize it's only a soft touch of a hand, I carefully open my eyes and turn my head to see who it is.

She smiles at me. The nurse in her purple pj-like clothes that look like they're made out of thin paper; she's smiling at me.

I put my arms down slowly, dreading that it'll all turn out to be a dream and that her face will turn into the face of the guy from the soup kitchen and that I'll be back in that street and-

“Where am I?” I ask out loud, my voice croaking and scratching at my throat. My head aches suddenly, pounding, but much less than the pulse in my throat did.

“Newark hospital.” My eyes widen as she speaks.
“You were found in an alley. It seemed that you might have been robbed.”

The alley. The guy. Brian's money. I lost Brian's money. How could I lose them! They weren't mine! I was gonna give him back whatever I could! But now, I can't!

“You had no ID on you, so we haven't been able to find out who you are,” she continues, obviously pressing me to give up my name. But if I do, then they'll know where to send the bills.

Or not.

Shit! What have I done! I shouldn't have gone past that alley and I shouldn't have let that creep ever even know I ever had any money! I can't give up my real name, 'cause then they'll know I have no one and that there's nowhere to send the bills and then they'll just give them to me and tell me to cough up and then Brian will get like he usually does and give me the money, but I don't want that. I don't want to use him like that.

“What's your name, sweetie?” the nurse presses. I look up at her, not realizing that my gaze had fallen to the wall behind her. Her smile tells me that she wants to help me, but I know all too well how that can only turn into guilt on my part.

I'm not gonna give them my name. I hate to do this, but I'm gonna have to dodge the bill. I just don't have the money.

“Frank,” I say, my voice tiny and shameful.