Troubles

The classroom is dead silent as everyone's doing the math problems on page 42 that we were practically ordered to do. It's so silent that I can hear when the teacher turns a page of her book, even though I'm in the far back. The dry scratching of everyone's pencils makes me wanna cough, but the silence is too intense to do anything but focus on the math.

There's a sudden knock on the door, and about 15 chairs screech against the linoleum floor when everyone jump from shock.

When I look up at the door, the teacher's already walking towards it, while the rest of us are still recovering. I try to turn back to the math, but out of curiosity I wait until I've seen who knocked. The face makes me forget about the class altogether.

“Hello. I'm looking for Frank Iero?” Brian asks, looking around the room and eventually looking me in the eye. He looks relieved. His shoulders suddenly fall down and his face relaxes.
“Can I borrow him for a sec?” he asks before the teacher has even answered his first question. She doesn't even get to answer his second question either, because I'm already out of my seat and on my way over.

Once I'm within reach, Brian grabs my shoulder and pushes me lightly into the hallway. I fear that he might start yelling at me and scolding me about being gone for so long, but instead, he just wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight. I gently wrap one arm around him, careful not to let him put pressure on my broken and bruised ribs, and hug him back. I hear the class room door shut behind him.

“Where have you been?” he asks and starts to pull away. Everything about him expresses concern. His eyes are tense and his forehead is creased. His voice is so careful and the way he lightly holds my shoulder again makes me a little warmer inside. He actually cares, doesn't he?

“I-” I lose the faint smile I didn't even notice I had on my face and look down at his outstretched arm.

“Frank?” he asks pressingly, squeezing my shoulder once.
“Where were you?” He voice is more tense now. It's as if he wants to yell, but is giving me every chance he can to explain myself and give him a good reason not to yell at me.

But I don't have a good reason. I lost his money, so he should yell at me. I should've watched where I was going and I should've fought back. Maybe I couldn't have taken the guy, but just the fact that I made an effort to keep the money and didn't just let him take it would've made me feel less guilty.

“Frank.” His voice sounds so tense, as if he's talking through clenched teeth. He's pressing me for an answer, but I'll just make him angrier if I give him one. Even if I told him about me waking up in the hospital, he'd get mad at me for ditching the bill.
“Where were you?” he yells.
“I called the Ways! You never even showed up, so where the hell did you go? I drove around until 3am looking for you!” I lower my head, taking his verbal anger and turn it into guilt.
“You can't just disappear like that.” I swallow slowly, blinking fast to avoid any tears. Sure, I'm upset, but I won't cry. He doesn't mean to hurt me. I know he doesn't.
“So?” he asks and squeezes my shoulder once again. He hasn't let go of me.
“Tell me where you were,” he says slowly, lowering his head to look at my face. I slowly lift my head to look him in the eye, seeing the anger, frustration and genuine concern mixing in his pupils.

“I got mugged,” I whisper, blinking once and keeping my eyes shut for a second longer to avoid seeing his disappointment.
“The guy took your money.”
Brian sighs heavily and I can hear him run a hand over his face, the stubble scratching against his palm.

“So you thought you couldn't come home because of that?”

Mentally, I can't help but smile and relish in that one word that's basically changed my life, because now, I finally have a place to fit that one word again: home.
But the reality is that I'm still ashamed; still guilty. I slowly shake my head, drawing in a quick breath and looking back into his eyes.

“I- I woke up in the hospital.” As soon as I say it, Brian's eyes grow a few sizes. They go form being narrow and tense to stretching the skin around them and going completely blank in their expression. I bite the inside of my bottom lip. I can practically feel my pulse pounding in that piece of soft, thin skin that's being squished between my teeth.

I look down at his arms again.

“I dodged the bill. They had no idea who I was, so they didn't call anyone. And I didn't tell them my name.”

“Frank,” Brian says disappointed, but I continue to explain myself:

“The guy took your money and left. He only bruised me, but enough to...yeah.” A flash of the guy standing over me, his fist hurdling towards my face makes me break the sentence and simply conclude it with a simple 'yeah', as if that explains everything.

“Why didn't you ask them to call me?”
I had a feeling he'd figure that one out. He's too smart for his own good. I didn't mean to hurt him; in fact, I was trying to prevent that, both mentally and financially. He shouldn't feel in debt to me. If anything, I'm in debt to him: more than I'd ever be able to pay him back for.

“I didn't want you to pay. You've already given me so much of your money and I didn't wanna bother you by asking you to pay the hospital bill. It's not fair to you. You're being so nice to me and all I'm being is a burden. I keep getting into situations like these, and you're always the one paying. I don't want you to, but you do, and I can't stop you, and that... It's,” I hesitate. How do I explain this? How do I say what a giant fuck-up I am, but in a way that won't make me appear pathetic and needy, but just as a fuck-up?

“Frank,” he says in that same tone of voice as before: as if he wants me to change my mind.

“No,” I say persistently, “I'm not selfish. I don't wanna take all your money and then lose them all because I such a klutz.”

“Frank!” Brian says firmly, cutting me off.
“You are not a burden. And you're not a klutz for getting mugged. That shit-ass bum who stole your money is the one to blame, so don't fucking blame yourself. The only thing I'm,” he slows down a bit, then continues, “disappointed of you for is the fact that you didn't call me.”

I glance up at him and catch a brief glimpse of his sad eyes. My gut twists around itself and my throat starts burning.

“I thought we trusted each other. Don't you?”
I try to swallow the burn, but it only makes it worse. I nod.

“Then you should've called me. I'm in the book, you know?” he asks ironically, chuckling lightly. I can't help but grin lightly, but the burning in my throat hasn't gone away. Actually, it's spread into my eyes. I try to blink the tears away, but I can already tell it's a lost battle.
“Come here,” Brian whispers and then pulls me into a hug, one arm wrapped around my back while the other ruffles up my hair. It's then that I just admit defeat and let the tears roll. It's only a few, but they still make me feel awkward.

Brian slowly lets go and takes a step back, leaning down a bit to look me straight in the eye.

“Alright, let's make a deal,” he says suddenly, and I wipe my cheeks and listen carefully.
“You'll live with me. You'll have your own room, your own bed, the whole nine yard. In return, you'll work at the store.”

I smile lightly.

“You'll work Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after school, and also Saturdays. You'll go straight from school and to the store and stay there until closing. That oughta also give you time to study. We'll talk more in details when we get there, but for now, those are the ground rules. Understood?”

I nod quickly.

“And always tell me where you are or where you're going. Got that? I need to know, Frank,” Brian says firmly, his words slow and distinct.

My face heats up a little with shame, but again I nod quickly and accept the fact that Brian cares. He really cares about me enough to keep me sticking around and enough to truly understand that I'm not using him and that I wanna earn the money he give me.

“Good,” he says and ruffles my hair once more, stepping back, crossing his arms and smiling.
“So, how did you get here?” he asks and frowns through his smile.
Again, I can feel my face heat up, but this time out of shyness. I look down.

“I met Gerard on the way,” I say in a low voice that's barely even above a whisper. I can practically hear Brian smirk.

“Gerard, huh? So, are you two...” he trails off, knowing that I damn well know what he's referring to.

I simply nod.

“Awesome.” He actually sounds proud, something I've never heard before. I fear that he might be the only person in the world who'll ever be that, but I can live with it, because right now, I couldn't be prouder myself.
“So, what hospital was it?” he asks. When I look up, he's still smiling, but there's a firmness in his eyes that tells me that I should just come out and say it – that he's too determined to pay the bill to let me keep that a secret.

He leaves soon after that, but I don't feel as guilty as before. Now, I at least have a way of paying Brian back for all he's done for me.