Troubles

Beat

“What happened to your hand?”

I look up.

Brian has been asking a lot of questions like that lately. I know he's just worried, and I love him for that, but I don't think I can actually answer him truthfully yet. It's not that I don't trust him – the problem is the exact opposite: I trust him. I trust that if I'll actually let him know about what's going on, what I'm putting myself through, he'll do everything to get me out of it and that would mean the guys at school would begin to go at Gerard again.

I fall to the ground when the punch I predicted finally hits my cheek bone. I fear that, some day, the punches and kicks might break more than just my skin, but I won't let them get to me – I won't let them scare me out of something I have to do. I won't let them win.

Two kicks hit me at once – one gets me in my gut and the other in my shoulder. The pain is beginning to numb me out. Each jolt of pain somehow makes my brain slowly shut off more and more, and though I stay conscious, it's as if my brain is shutting out my body – as if my brain refuses to receive any more signals of pain from my body.

I just keep lying still, not moving one body part at my own will. Every assault starts to feel like soft shoves and bumps.

I want to stop it. I want it to stop, but I can't be selfish again. My selfishness killed my mother, and I can't let Gerard get hurt because of me. I'm strong enough to handle this. I'm helping Gerard. I'm helping.

“Stop!”

No. Don't stop. They can't stop.

“Stop!”

Just keep on kicking me. Don't listen. Don't stop.

One last punch is thrown at me, hitting my temple and blurring my vision. I black out for a moment, fully aware that I can't see or hear anything. I can feel my breathing and it doesn't hurt. I can feel my heart beating and my blood pulsating around my body, but it doesn't hurt. I'm sure it will soon, though.

“Frank?” I hear suddenly; loudly. I open my eyes and see Ray. He looks scared and confused, but what surprises me the most is that he's alone.
“Come on,” he says and grabs my arm gently, pulling me up. He pushes against my back gently and gets me to sit up. And then the pain comes back.
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Thank you for all the support, everyone! =D