The Only Exception

I hated it. I absolutely loathed this. I wasn’t even sure what was going on, but my head was reeling uncontrollably, I wasn’t able to stop it. One second I was perfectly fine, sleeping calmly, and then the next, I feel my stomach start to turn as my head begins to pound with such force.

I was sweating, my breath was heavy, extremely; my chest heaved up and down in quick motions. I was scared that I couldn’t move, but I could feel what was happening. I knew I wasn’t dreaming, and I knew that the nightmare had gotten its full effect on me, and my body couldn’t take it. I was alone in the guest bedroom of Emily’s. She’d heard my screaming and came running in, and by her side was Seth, who I hadn’t even seen in the house since the boys left for patrol.

I was crying, or at least trying to. I didn’t have a clue on what was going on, but by the look on Seth’s face, and the reaction of him running out of the room all too quickly, I knew it wasn’t good.

My heart stuttered at the sound of a howl, and it stopped a minute after. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping, wishing that this anxiety attack would just go away. This wasn’t supposed to happen anymore. The last one I’d gotten was when I was 14, after my mother died, and of course I didn’t think they’d come back if I was this well off. But I was wrong; I always expected the lesser things to seep out of the corners.

I could hear small whimpers escape past my mouth, and at every vulnerable sound I made, Emily cooed to me and tried to reassure me as best as she could that I was going to be okay. I would nod my head, and try to believe her, but I couldn’t.

I was too scared.

I wish this hadn’t happened – at all. There would have been no worries, and things would have been a bit better. And now, this attack filling in the few holes, reminded me that I was in this for life, this was never going to stop. And I knew this wasn’t the worst case that anyone could go through, but for someone like me, dealing with the extras, I thought of it to be harder.

My eyes were still closed when I heard few feet stampeding through the house. The door to my room opened – the crack that it made was so familiar to me now. Replacing Emily’s hand was a hand that ceased to stop the attack. The warmth did very little, and the shock that it’d come all so soon, wasn’t even digestible for me. I heard a deep voice, his soft voice calmed me.

“Open your eyes, Bray, you’re going to be okay.” His voice was like an anesthetic to me. I felt nothing more that his own heat radiating off of his body and onto mine. Slowly, I opened my eyes, but I managed to see his gorgeous brown orbs after a few blinks.

Jacob smiled down at me before turn his head over to the door. Gesturing with his head, the others filed out and before I could react, Jacob had hoisted me into his arms, like he was cradling me. I curled up into his warm chest. And even though I was sweating, and extremely hot, Jacob’s body temperature seemed cool and soothing to me.

I knew I’d calmed down, and I must have fallen asleep in Jacob’s arms, because when I’d opened my eyes again, we were just walking into Jacob’s house. My eyes wondered around for any sign of Billy – he would not like to see me this way. Thankfully, he must have spent another day with Charlie and wouldn’t be back for a few hours, or maybe not even until the morning.

Jacob grunted as he struggled to open up a door, but when he’d gotten it, he gently set me down onto my feet and shut the door behind us. It was only now when I realized we were in the bathroom together. Ignoring me confusing look, he reached over and turned on the shower and let it run until the perfect temperature. I was all too lazy and exhausted to care and Jacob helped strip me of my clothes. He was being very mature about it all, which impressed me greatly.

He’d helped me into the shower and with his clothes on – even though it wasn’t much, he didn’t even mind to get wet, as long as he helped me. The running water shocked me out of my delusional state and into a feeling of shock. I gasped as I grabbed onto Jacob’s arms and pulled him into my arms. His hands ran through my wet hair and I cried into wet chest and he let me, cooing me every so often.

I didn’t fully snap out of my reaction to the attack or shock, but my mind and my eyes were set on something else. I looked up at down at Jacob, who was only wearing his ripped up jeans. Swallowing, I looking up and met my eyes with his brown ones.

“Thank you,” I whispered, unsure that I’d even said it because it was so quiet. He nodded, all before leaning down to kiss my lips softly. He pulled back a second later, and something in me triggered, and I didn’t like that he made the kiss short.

I shook my head briefly, just before I looked deep into his eyes and almost pounced on him. His lips were attached to mine within seconds; and I was in such surprise at my own actions. I’d forced his jeans off long ago when the kissing began. His lips took full control over mine, but it wasn’t anything that I didn’t prefer. Pushing me gently against the cold wet tiles of the shower, Jacob’s hands cradled my face as our lips moved together in synchronization.

Slipping just slightly, Jacob caught me quickly. He knew it wouldn’t be such a good idea in the shower, yet. Reaching his hands over my shoulders, Jacob turned off the shower and picked me up bridal style, all before running into his room and slamming his door shut. I kissed Jacob again, but this time with a lot more passion and lust. This is what I needed, just the last bit of closure, and then I’d be brave enough to face anything.

The reassurance and love that Jacob brought on me was the best healing technique I’d ever gone through.

I’d never felt to go into detail over many things, and this wouldn’t be one of them. And besides, I didn’t know much of what we were doing, but I did know that this was meant to be. Our lips began to move together again, and it was like pure heaven. His warm breath against my face, his heated touch against my body. It all sent me shivers. And the shivers reminded me of why I had come to love this boy. The sexual part was apart of it, but the biggest part was the way the butterflies flew around excitedly in my stomach. And I had never had that feeling before.

My chest heaved up and down, signaling that I hadn’t stopped breathing, and then Jacob began to speak. “I respect you and who you are, Braylin.” His warm breath blew over my bare skin right under my jaw bone. I felt the goose bumps appear on my arms.

Before he spoke again, I felt his warm, soft lips kiss my jaw, “You’re beautiful,” continuing, he kissed my neck. My breathing began to stutter, things were changing in my mind. And right before I could recover from this trace, Jacob kissed down a little bit on my neck before coming right back up and straight to my ear. “I love you, Braylin Kennedy.”

And it’s like something else had taken control of me just then. It’s like the lust and passion I felt towards Jacob had won over for this short second. My hands took control when they pulled Jacob’s face towards mine. The instant our lips touched, once again, was like pure fire, such a strong, passionate feeling, and I never wanted it to end.

Jacob’s arms wrapped around my waist and got a better grip to pull my closer to him. My hands had stayed resting on his face as he kissed me. As I kissed him back.

My lips began to part with Jacob’s, and this kind of kiss felt good. It wasn’t anything too overwhelming; it made me feel these butterflies.

Jacob’s hands began to roam on my hips; each step he took was a step towards his bed. I could feel him lift me up just slightly so I could reach his lips better. The kissing continued, and I knew I never wanted it to stop. I wanted to go further, with Jacob.

It was then when Jacob knew that I’d decided that I wanted him, all of him. His smile made my heart skip a beat, and I knew that he wasn’t just happy for getting me, like this. I closed my eyes and absorbed the pleasure Jacob began to give me. It felt so amazing; nothing else was on my mind but him.

Then something exploded inside of me. It began from my chest, inner mostly; my heart. It was like a cooling feeling going through my heated body. Like the feeling of walking outside into the coldness after being in a warm toasted house for so long. It felt so amazing and just plain earth shattering. His bed was ground zero and everything else was dead. I couldn’t say anything other than the one phrase that I’ve wanted to say to him since day one.

I blinked once, before grabbing Jacob’s face and whispering, “I love you, Jacob Black.”