Kiss and Tell

“Do you need anything else?” Jon asked as he handed me the glass of water.

I shook my head, giving him an encouraging smile, before patting the spot beside me. He let out a breath and climbed onto the mattress, sitting next to my still shaking body. I glanced up at him, and his worried eyes looked down at me.

“You’re a great person,” I told him, watching his lip quiver, “There was nothing you could do to stop that. He was going to find me eventually, he told me he would. It was bound to happen, I was just lucky you guys were there to help.”

“But I should have known,” he said in a low, sad voice, “You looked scared, I should’ve pieced it together- I watched, I knew something was up, but I wasn’t there in time to stop him.”

I smiled, leaning forward and pressed the softest kiss to his stubbly cheek, “Nobody could have, I love you, I really do.”

He sighed, “I love you too.”

I pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into me. He hugged me back, not to tight, like he’d break me. The only person that could break me was Vince, and there was no chance he’d ever be near me again- so I was safe to grow and be myself again.

“Don’t ponder this please,” I told him as I pulled away, “It’s over, I’m going to be fine.”

He let out a breath and gave in, nodding, though I knew he wasn’t done talking about it. He stood up and tucked me in gently, before walking to the door and looking back at me. I watched with curiosity, wondering what he was thinking.

“Brent’s here,” he told me, like he’d just decided he’d inform me, “He wants to see you.”

My chest tightened, I really didn’t want to see him under these circumstances, but he was clearly making an effort. I gave a nod of approval and watched him leave. I swallowed, already feeling that wretched burn behind my eyes, this was possibly going to be the hardest conversation I’d had to deliver in a long time.

Within seconds, the door opened. Brent walked in, black bags under his eyes and his hair messed up. I looked at his blood stained fist, still not washed even after I’d went to file my report. I looked at him, my blue eyes flashing into his.

He walked slowly to my bed and sat down where Jon once was. I watched him swallow, scanning over my face. Then, he reached forward, grabbed my arm and lifted me up into his arms, squishing me into his chest like it was the last time he’d ever see me. I let him, graciously, and shut my eyes, remembering when this was the normality.

He rocked me back and forth, and quiet tears began to stream down my face. I had never felt as loved with Vince as I’d had with Brent. Brent’s hugs were filled with nothing but pure love and passion, Vince’s were just there. I couldn’t even remember the last time Vince hugged me.

“When something like that is going on Leah,” He said finally, breaking the silence, “You fucking call me, I don’t care what happened with us or what time of the fucking day it is, you pick up that phone and you call me, got it?”

I nodded, letting him pull away and rest me back on my bed. He looked broken, I didn’t like it, but he was tough and he would put on a brave face for me. I let him look over my face and then shake his head, looking away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “For everything.”

He and I both knew that that was a two sided message. I was sorry for not calling him, I was sorry for letting that happen to me, and ultimately, I was sorry for ruining us and breaking his heart. There was nothing I’d ever regret more than doing that to him; nothing could ever fix that hole I’d given myself.

He shook his head, “None of that matters.”

“Yes it does!” I said boldly, wiping my eyes, “All of it does, I’ve done nothing but constantly hurt you Brent!”

He sighed, “That’s not the point, the point is no matter what, any of us will be here for you. I know you’re going to fuck up sometimes, I will too, but being with you was a part of my life that means more than what you did.”

I buried my face in my hands; I didn’t want to hear this. I wanted him to agree that I was completely fucking stupid. I wanted him to say that he’d blocked that part of his life away, but here he was, as usual, telling me that he would always be here.

“I- I ruined the b-best thing that ever happened to me,” I bawled.

He pulled my hands away from my face and gave me a stern look in the eyes, raising both eye brows up to get my attention, “Listen to me, you got it?”

I could only nod.

“It happened for a reason,” he stated, watching me frown in confusion, “I got Lindsay out of it... and you got Patrick.”

I gave him an odd look, “I didn’t get Pa-.”

“-Don’t bullshit me,” he said, wiping my eyes and smiling lightly, “You can say you’re not in love with him, but I know you like the back of my hand. I can tell exactly how you look at him, even if you can’t.”

I looked at him, wondering just what he was saying, but he didn’t explain. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead and then pulled away, rubbing a hand down my arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

I nodded and watched Brent Seabrook walk out of my room, and knew, for the first time, that he wasn’t walking out of my life.