Kiss and Tell

We walked into the bar, his hand protectively on my back. I don’t know if he sensed my nervousness or felt the way I was shaking, but either way, he was solidly telling me he was at my side. I could hear music and voices, they sounded like they were having the time of their lives. Little did they know I was coming in to completely ruin all of that.

I took a breath as we walked to the section of the bar where they always sat. One by one, everybody looked up to stare at us. Adam Burish literally choked on his beer and began to cough uncontrollably, while his girlfriend Lisa, of five years, patted his back. Everyone was silent and my fingers dug into my palm, if Jon’s hand wasn’t on my back I would’ve run.

Jon smiled and opened his arms, “Look whose back!”

I cringed, but my eyes locked onto something else. I had felt an obvious burn, like somebody’s eyes were holding ten times more fire than everyone else. I glanced to the right where, unfortunately, Brent Seabrook was sitting. His big, blue eyes were staring at me, his jaw clenched, yet he showed no true emotion.

I tried to smile, but failed miserably. It killed me to see him, even if I was over him, the past just swept back into my thoughts. What I had done to him was inexcusable; it was all I saw when I looked at him. Upon other things, his hair was longer and he was letting his beard grow a little bit, but he was still Brent... and Brent was a wonderful person.

I swallowed, hard and fought the urge to cry. Finally though, somebody got up and was walking towards me. I looked up and smiled at Sharpie, who even though he had seen me earlier, was acting as though he hadn’t. He brought me into his arms and gave me a long, encouraging hug.

“Hey squirt,” he whispered, letting me go to mock a punch to my cheek, “Long time no see, come and sit.”

I was still shaking and now, I was avoiding Brent’s eyes. I followed Sharpie down the table to two empty chairs. Jonathan, as promised, stayed glued to my side. I took a seat and averted my eyes to the table. Conversation started to pick up again, thanks to Versteeg, but I was still frozen with embarrassment. Jonathan’s hand was on my shoulder, reassuring me that I could do this. He ordered me vodka and coke, which was basically the only thing I ever drank. It was like knowing my favourite colour, everyone knew my drink.
I tried to thank him, but no sound came out. If I spoke, I was afraid I’d erupt.

“You’re fine,” he whispered, as the drink was placed in front of me, “Drink.”

I did as I was told, but there wasn’t even booze in the world to drown out the shocked eyes around me. I felt little, stupid and like a complete asshole. It was easy not to look in Brent’s direction, but I feared looking the other way just to see Pat. I was stuck and I was falling apart inside, lord knows how long it would take for it to overwhelm me.

“Leah! How’ve you been?”

I glanced up and saw a pair of big, blue eyes and a giant smile, Kris.

“Hey Kris,” I said quietly, trying to stay calm, “I’ve been alright, how about you?”

He shrugged, still leaning across the table, “Ah, I’ve been good. Me in that lady over there got engaged last week, if you haven’t heard.”

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened, I glanced at Emma, who was blushing as she waved to me, “What?! Last thing I heard you were going to her sister’s wedding in Houston!”

He laughed and shrugged, sneaking a loving glance at his now fiancé, “The whole wedding thing got to her, I was happy to oblige. You’re going to come to the wedding right?”

I frowned, nodding uncontrollably, “Of course! Emma, get over here, congratulations!”

She squirmed her was down to see me, wrapping her arms around me from across the table. She looked amazing. Her golden brown hair was down in luscious, shiny waves. Her normally fair skin was glistened in a golden tan, and her big green eyes were sparkling. Love, that’s what it looked like, right in her eyes.

I glanced down at the enormous, beautiful diamond on her finger, “Wow, Kris, you have good taste.”

He grinned, “Picked it out myself.”

I shot Jon a look and he nodded, agreeing, “He did, total truth.”

I smiled at him and once again, congratulated them. They were great together and they deserved true happiness. I was grateful that they had made the effort to welcome me back even though the tension in the room was thicker than butter. I sighed, shifting my weight closer to Jonathan, once again feeling insecure. I took a drink of my vodka and went back into my quiet shell. I feared overdoing my attempt to re-connect. There was nothing worse than shoving yourself into a group that simply did not want you there.

“Leah,” there were arms around my neck and a face smushed onto mine; “I missed you.”

I was shocked that somebody else would do this; I thought I had been lucky with Kris. My eyes shot upward and I smiled. My hands patted Andrew Ladd’s arms, returning the gesture as best as I could.

“Hey Laddy,” I whispered, taking another swig, “How’ve you been?”

He shrugged, “Pretty good, and yourself?”

“Alright,” I said and I ignored the look that Jon shot me, I told him we wouldn’t speak of home when I got here, and I had no intention to, “I’m glad I’m back though.”

Ok, that was a big fat lie, but since I Kris and Andrew had secured their positions as my friends, I was feeling slightly more at ease. I knew that it was a long shot, throwing myself back into this like I hadn’t screwed up or left at all, but I didn’t know I’d be this uncomfortable. I could still feel his eyes on me.

I was talking casually with Andrew when both Jonathan and Sharpie turned abruptly to look at me. I frowned, glancing at them only to see them look at each other, almost panicked. Instinctively, I looked up, just in time to see Brent place his lips on a brunette. One, who, I’ll tell you, looked ten times better than I did tonight.