*** Move

Alex couldn't believe what the fuck went down the night before... He was now seriously regretting getting so wasted. He sat in his bed with his head pounding and his heart racing, he felt like shit.

Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse for him, they did. His 'girlfriend' Patricia that he had met last night in some cheap bar he was at, was calling him. He groaned and pressed silence on his phone before tossing it aside.

"What the fuck...." he said to himself loudly.

He had no clue how he could let this happen. He did not want to go out with this girl. From what he could remember from the night before, she was a complete bitch. She was loud too, and very, very annoying. But the alcohol made his mind so foggy, and she wouldn't stop shoving her tongue down his throat.... Somehow in the middle of all the madness, he had asked her to be his girlfriend.... Why oh why god would he do such a thing? he asked himself. He put his hand on his forehead and groaned again. This sucked so much dick.

His phone rang out again and Alex was slightly nervous to even look to see who it was. He grabbed his blackberry and squinted to see that he had a text from his best friend Jack, relief instantly washed over him.

How's the new girlfriend Gaskank? ;)

Alex rolled his eyes before typing back,

How did I let this happen... Fuckkkk

Jack had been there the night before, and egged his best friend on the entire night, knowing Alex would be miserable when he sobered up the next morning, he tends to love messing with Alex, just for shits and giggles.

Hahaha, what are you gonna do now? You can't just dump her the next day, that'd be a total dick move, hahaha.

Alex read Jack's text and knew that he was right. He needed out of this relationship though, and really fast. Suddenly he smiled, he had a brilliant idea.

I'm gonna answer everything she says with "Cum on da face" until she breaks up with me... Great idea or greatest idea?

Alex laid his head back onto his pillows, he was so smart, he thought. He was definitely going to pursue his idea and say that to Patricia whenever she talked to him next, he was that kinda guy.

Hahahahaha oh and that isn't a dick move... Greatest idea.

Alex smiled and nodded... Yeah, it really was. He could just see it now...

Oh Alex, what she would do for our next date?

In her loud obnoxious, overwhelmingly nasally voice, and his answer would simply be, "Come on da face," Fuck yeah. This relationship is as good as over... But next time, it would be a lot easier if I could just drink a little less and think a little more...

Okay, yeah right.