Acceptance

Tap. T-Tap. T-T-Tap. She groaned, eyes slowly opening to see nothing but the shadows in her room and the streetlight pouring through her window. It better not be some cute, furry creature or I’ll feed the fucker to Cornelius. The girl in question was normally not such a cruel person; she was just sleep deprived and cranky. She preferred getting her beauty rest and sleeping through the night. She tried to place her head back on the pillow when she heard the incessant tapping yet again. She groaned and went to find the cause of the disturbance so she could eliminate it. She rose from her stationary position, and walked gingerly across the room to avoid tripping. She found the light switch so she could maneuver better, and when she stared out the window she was surprised to see a familiar face on the fire escape ladder with his face peering through the window. Exasperatedly she opened the window and gave the boy in question room to tumble clumsily into her haven. He groaned in pain, and normally she would be sympathetic, but now she was just pissed off.

“What the bloody fuck are you doing here?” She squealed exhaustedly. The boy looked at her with puppy eyes and she could tell it had been a rough night for him. His face was littered in bruises, and his lip was busted up and bleeding. He was wearing long sleeves when it had to be at least 80 degrees and humid as hell. His pants weren’t on right, just haphazardly pulled on with the first shoes he could find.

“Please, Quinn, please don’t yell.”

He was begging. I honestly couldn’t say no to him in the state he was in. I took a calming breath and let my breathing even out. I felt bad for yelling at him. He looked like a small child. He was shaking despite the temperature outside and in the room, and his eyes were darting across the room and looking anywhere but in my eyes.

“Sorry Danny, I’m just tired. It’s…” I checked the clock on the wall “…Four in the morning, and I was well into my beauty sleep. Can you please explain why you’re here at this impossible hour?”

Danny bit his already bleeding lip and I wanted to chide him and tell him to stop, but at that point I couldn’t. He took in another shaky breath. His shoulders heaved a little bit and I wanted to go comfort him, but I knew I had to listen first.

“I-I did what you told me.” I took in an involuntary breath because I knew exactly what he was talking about. “I came out to the parents.” I shook my head because I knew that good news wasn’t forthcoming after this. “Mom just started crying. She-she said that she just lost her second son. She said that I was dead to her, and she’d love me if I could only like girls, and not both…she said I could fix this if I wasn’t a whore. She said that I SHOULD only like one.”
I swallowed and ran my fingers through his long, dark hair. I felt horrible right now. The pit of my stomach dropped. I wrapped my arms around him.

“Oh, it gets better, Quinny, she-she said that she would rather I followed after Gavin. She said I’d be better off dead.” I gripped onto him tighter as the tears started to fall from his eyes.

“My fucking mother wished I was dead because I’m bisexual. It isn’t fucking fair!” He sobbed and choked on his tongue when he tried to talk again. I just rubbed circles into his back. I felt useless and helpless in this situation. All I could do is watch as my best friend sobbed his heart out because his parents rejected him. It was my entire fault too because I’m the one who suggested it. I’m the one who said that it would be fine. I’m the one who said that they would love him no matter what. I heard his breathing calm down a little bit. He sniffled.
“Dad beat the shit out of me, obviously. He said that no God-hating faggot would be living under his roof. The pain isn’t that bad really.” He laughed a bitter, hollow laugh that made me want to cry. “It’s the fact that they rejected their own son after what happened with Gavin. You would think they’d want to keep me around because my stupid brother decided to drink himself to death, but I’m not good enough for them. I never was. I never will be unless I lock myself away.”

I held him close and I swallowed my tears. I shouldn’t have been able to cry. He was the only one who deserved to be in pain right now. I felt like drowning in my guilt and eating it for breakfast.

“You’re wrong, Danny. You are so wrong about that. First off I have to say sorry for encouraging you to do something that caused you so much pain. I’m the worst friend in the entire world. I really should have let you be. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. You’re the last person to deserve it. You shouldn’t have to live in fear of what the people who love you think of you. You should love yourself above everybody else. That’s the most important thing. Someone will love you in return someday; you deserve it.”

He nodded, but I could tell my words weren’t sinking in. I didn’t expect them to at this point. He stared at me fearfully when I got up. His eyes were silently asking me something. You’re not going to abandon me too. Are you? Do you hate me as much as them?

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to tell my parents that you’re here and get you some ice and bandages. Don’t worry.” I had to assuage his fears. I had to tell myself that things would be okay. I had to give him an anchor in this time of uncertainty. He nodded unsurely and let me go. I went and knocked on my parents’ door and explained to them the situation. Mom was up for work anyway and she reassured me that Danny was a welcome guest for as long as necessary. She promised me she would inform my still-sleeping father. I went downstairs to get some ice from the fridge and some gauze and bandages for his injuries. When I came back he was nodding his head to some music. I shook my head at how quick he could pull his iPod out. I was also amazed that he managed to grab it. I pulled out the earphone and he tensed considerably.

“Relax. I come bearing solace.” He smiled for the first time that night. “Mom said you were welcome for as long as necessary. You pretty much live here anyway.” His smile brightened. I smiled too. I asked him to lift his shirt so I could see the damage. There were yellowish-brown spots forming on the pale skin on his ribs and there was a black and blue prominent underneath his eye. His lip was already swelling. I cleaned him up and handed him the ice in a plastic bag.

“Thanks, Quinn. I’d die without you.” I shook my head and kissed his forehead.

“You wouldn’t. You’re stronger than that, Daniel. I know it.”

“Thank you for believing in me.” He whispered. “Thank you for making me face the music, because at least now I don’t have to wonder anymore.”

“You deserve better than what you’ve been given. You know that right?” I looked him dead in the eyes, and he locked eyes with me. He still had the fearful look, but there was a light shining in them.

“I know. Love will find me one day in more ways than one. Acceptance will prevail.” He sighed.

“I know it will.” I said confidently. “I love you, Danny. Don’t ever forget it.”

“I won’t.”