For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic.

I can hear the rumble of the crowd as I stand side of stage with the rest of my band waiting for our intro to play. Alex stands next to me holding my hand.

A sheen of sweat was appearing on my brow as I waited for the what seemed like hours. Our intro starts playing. The theme to the A Team starts playing and the guys start running out. Each of them have a smile on their face but I know it is only for the crowd.

Tommy takes a seat at his drum kit and the crowd erupts. Derek and Lucas make their way out next at the same time. Lucas kisses me on the cheek and I fist pound Derek.

I stand back waiting for the perfect moment in the theme song to run out and greet the crowd. I look up at Alex who stares back into my eyes. He kisses me on the temple.

“Go get ‘em kid.” Alex whispers and smiles at me, I kiss him on the lips and run out as soon as I step on the stage the crowd erupts way more then I have ever heard before. I know that tonight will have to be the best show we have ever played. I just wish these doubts weren’t in the back of the mind, but I know all of this is for the best.

“ALRIGHT GUYS HOW Y’ALL DOING?” I scream to the crowd. I could see the faces of the first row illuminated in the red stage lights.

“Tonight we will ROCK now I hope y’all are ready for this.” I yelled as I walked over to the left side of the stage to where Lucas is standing with his bass ready to play.

“This one’s called, In a Crowd. LET’S GO.” The crowd turns into a wave of jumping as they sing the lyrics.

“Does it offend you? The way I wear my clothes, the way my jeans have holes”

Each word being screamed back at me, as I hold the microphone out to the crowd.

<FLASHBACK>

A young girl sat in the guitar centre in down town LA holding a fender. Her short black hair was messy and her jeans torn. The sale assistants eyeing was her off carefully as she holds the guitar with tenderness like a mother would with a new born child.

Plucking the strings with finesse and hearing the ting of each, Ally decided this is what her future held and she needed this guitar to make her dreams come true.

The angry sale assistant who looked in his twenties and like he needed to be somewhere else wandered over to where Ally sat with the guitar.

“So are you going to buy anything or just make out with the guitars? Cause if you aren’t going to buy anything can you like leave?” The angry young man stood there with an
arrogant look on his face.

“Um, how much is this guitar?” Ally asked quietly.

The young man laughed in her face like she had just told the funniest joke in the world. “This guitar is $850.”

Ally’s eyes went straight to the floor. “Well I only have $530 saved up can I have it for that or can I lay-by it?” Ally’s shy voice is almost inaudible above the chatter in the store.

“Sorry, kid. If you cant afford this guitar then just leave. You’re not fooling anyone we know you’re poor and homeless.” The young man said with venom in his words.

“She is not homeless, she lives with me.” a young boy yelled from across the room. “And because she lives with me I will pay for the rest of the guitar ok.” The young boy with all of his gusto and confidence holds up a platinum credit card.

Ally’s cheeks burn red with embarrassment as the whole store watches the young boy make his way over.

The shop assistant takes the guitar to the store room to do whatever they do with them back there.

“I don’t need you to do this.” Ally’s small voice says to the young boy.

“Don’t even worry about it, it’s on Daddy anyway.” The young boy winks before continuing. “Anyway, there is a reason I bought the guitar, I heard you singing out on the street and I thought you could be in my band and you don’t have a guitar so really this is more for me then you.” The young boy puts his arm around Ally’s shoulders and leads her to the counter.

“So my name is Tommy and I am your drummer it is very nice to meet you.” Tommy held out his hand with a wide smile on his face.

“Well my name is Ally and I guess I am your singer.”

+++

The stage is dark while we wait for the next song to start, there is a small buzz in my in ear monitors almost like a mosquito in my ear. The dim light side of stage show out lines of people. At first I think it is just the crew but I look closer and see the two figures I did not want here tonight.

The show has gone great, my friends are watching side of stage, the guys have been perfect and Alex has been here the whole time so why is everything falling apart now.

The single spot light comes on reminding me that I need to intro the next song. But all I can think about is my shitty parents and how this is the first show they have ever been to.

I see Travis side of stage ushering me to talk to the crowd, but what if I open my mouth and for the first time nothing comes out.

“So, I hope you guys are having some FUCKING FUN UP IN HERE, cause we are.” I yell at the crowd and they yell back.

“This next song is about how, some people don’t believe in you and just make you want to pursue those dreams even more.” I took a deep breath looking out to my parents. Alex stood next to them smiling at me, willing me to continue.

“TAKING IT BACK.” I scream and the crowd erupts.

As Lucas plays the beginning to the riff, I stand with my head down and my eyes closed waiting for my cue. Some people ask what you think about on stage, some think it’s the music or the fans and most of the time it is but for this show for some reason all I can think about is Alex.

<FLASHBACK>

“Ally don’t be stupid, it sounds great.” Alex yelled through the door of Ally’s bedroom in her apartment.

“What are you talking about Alex, I just butchered the song. I don’t even know it was possible to butcher your own song but somehow I have.” Ally yelled even though Alex had opened the door and was now standing near the bed Ally sat on with her acoustic guitar.

“You didn’t butcher the song, it was great. And if that was you butchering a song I could listen to it for the rest of my life.” Alex sat on the bed next to Ally, took the guitar off her and placed it on the floor.

“Do you want to be with me forever Mr. Alex Gaskarth?” Ally said in a cheeky tone before kissing Alex tenderly on the lips.

“Bet your ass I do.” Alex said laughing as pushed Ally down on the bed and he hovered over her.

“You know what I think Alex? I kinda want to be with you forever.” Ally laughed as Alex kissed down her neck.

“Well how about we start forever by being naked? because you are wearing way too many clothes.” Alex pulled the t-shirt Ally was wearing off to reveal a plain purple bra. He started kissing down her stomach and his fingers lingered on her top button of her jeans.

Ally’s breathing became short and jagged as her hands travelled up Alex’s shirt caressing his bare skin. “Deal.” Both Ally and Alex started laughing between breaths and kisses.

+++

“I think it’s time I told you guys some stuff.” I spoke to the crowd before our last song. I gestured to the light guy to turn the house lights on. I want to see everyone when I do this.

“This is going to be our last song for the night so I want you all to get up shout, yell, mosh and punch someone in the face if you have to. I want this to be the best moment of all of our lives.” The crowd looks a bit confused but all will be very clear very soon.

“I just need some help for this last one to make it perfect. Cassadee and Trav get out here. Oh and bring your bands please.” Cassadee and Travis walk over and stand on either side of me. I hug both of them before the rest of the bands come out and stand behind me.

“I almost forgot to mention this is the last show we will be playing, ever.” Some boos and awes come from the crowd. “I want it to be perfect so you guys can have this awesome memory forever because I know I will.”

I start to tear up but Trav wipes it away before I can get too carried away.

“ALRIGHT NOW Y’ALL KNOW THIS ONE SO LETS GO FUCKING BIG.” I scream into the microphone.

“FIGHTING FOR US.”

Tommy pound the first beats to the song “LETS GO” I yell, all of the band members start jumping around on stage.

“Thanks guys” I whisper in both Travis and Cassadee’s ears.

As the song finishes Tommy, Derek and Lucas took their places next to me as we bow as a band for the last time.

I walk off stage in a cloud of emotion I can’t even tell but mostly happy. Alex is waiting for me with a towel and a bottle of water. I take both happily not even saying a word.

Alex puts his arm around my waist as we make our way out of the venue. “So kid, What do you wanna do now?” Alex asks with a small smile on his lips.

“You know what? How about we spend the rest of our lives together?” I ask as I look into his eyes.

“Deal” Alex kissed me on the lips as he leads me out of a venue for the last time.