I Wanna Take a Ride on Your Disco Stick

“SHANE!” Ehiko called. “Calm down!”

“Never,” I giggled. “Hey, race you up the stairs!”

“See, this is why I said you can’t have caffeine, but noooo. You said just one cup of coffee wouldn’t make any difference. Well look at you now Shae, LOOK AT YOU NOW!”

E had always been more on the feminine side with his long shaggy hair, scrawny body, lean shoulders, and baby face, but he was definitely a guy. Ironically enough I had been just the opposite, a total tomboy. That was until I turned 13, started to grow boobs, and realized that boys like it when you wear a bit of make up. I still refused to wear dresses though, which meant I had begged and pleaded with my father to buy me a boy's school uniform instead of the monstrous puffy yellow dress the girls were supposed to wear.

“This school is so big,” I marvled, completely ignoring Ehiko, much to his dismay. “Japan’s so much cooler than America. Oh! Look E! There’s a music room up here!”

“The sign says its not in use though,” Ehiko said, pointing above the door.

“Well maybe there’s still a piano, or a guitar or a-“ There are many things one wouldn’t expect to find in an abandoned music room on the third floor of an elite private high school. I can certainly say I did not expect to have rose petals hurled at my face or to see seven very attractive males perched like models right in front of the door. Suddenly I found myself agreeing with Ehiko, Shane + Coffee = Very bad idea. This hallucination was obviously the coffee’s fault.

“Welcome to the host club,” Chorused aforementioned hot guys. And then one of them (the taller blonde one) stepped forward and reached for my hand.

“Welcome princess,” He smiled, bowing slightly and placing a kiss on my fingers.

“AH! STRANGER DANGER!” I screeched, yanking my hand away and accidentally slapping the creep in the process. The poor boy stumbled backwards with shock, luckily the others managed to catch him before he hit the floor.

“See sempai,” The short brunette with very big, very pretty brown eyes scolded. “I told you it was scary.” He then turned his attention to me. “Sorry about that, Tamaki can be a bit…”

“Stupid?” One of the reddish-brunette twins asked.

“Moronic?” suggested the other.

“Idiotic?” Said the one with glasses.

“Well I was going to say surprising,” said the brown eyed one. “But I guess those work too. Anyway, my name’s Haruhi. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi I’m Shane,” I squeaked, then cleared my throat and tried again. “I mean, I’m Shane Honaka. Well I guess here in Japan it’d be Honaka Shane… You see, I’m half American and only just moved to Japan to live with my dead- erm I mean dad. My parents are divorced and live in separate countries.” Oh god I was rambling again. Why did I always do that in front of people? Especially hot people?! “My point is uh… you can just call me Shae?”

But even though my words were jumbled and retarded, Haruhi still stood there and smile like he actually cared.

“That’s so cool! You know Tamaki sempai’s a halfer too,” Haruhi explained.

“You grew up in America then?” asked the blonde creep who I assumed was Tamaki.

I nodded.

“No wonder her Japanese sucks,” One of the twins muttered and the other one snickered.

“Hikarou! How rude of you! Apologize!” Tamaki commanded pointing an incriminating finger at the twins.

I didn’t think he’d listen, but sure enough the boy called Hikarou mumbled a low, “Sorry Shane.”

“No, no it’s okay. It’s true my Japanese is pretty bad,” I giggled nervously.

“Who the hell are they?” Ehiko asked, finally catching up to me.

I opened my mouth to explain but Tamaki reached out and placed a finger on my lips in attempt to silence me.

“I think I can explain this one, lovely maiden. This is the Ouran High School Host Club, where handsome young men like myself, who have too much time on their hands entertain beautiful girls who also have too much time on their hands. Some would even go as far as to call it a playground for the rich and beautiful.”

Ehiko seemed really fascinated by all of this.

“Here we have third years Mitskuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka, the boy Lolita and the strong and silent type. Also called Honey and Mori.” He pointed first to the midget blonde who looked like he belonged in kindergarten, then to the HOTT, tan, and tall one. “Over here, the first year Hitachiin twins, Hikarou and Karou. The devilish types. You’ve already met Haruhi, the normal one. And then there’s Kyoya," he gestured to four eyes, "and myself. The second years. The cool type and the prince type.” He finished with a smile and then gave a loud yelp.

Throughout his whole explanation he had kept his finger on my lips to shush me. Now I know we only just met, so he had no way of knowing that I’m a biter, and it’s true that I don’t normally bite people I just met, but he was asking for it.

“SHAE! NO!” Ehiko shrieked, pinching my ear lobe.

“Ouch!” I pouted, releasing Tamaki’s finger and reaching up to rub my ear.

“I’m sorry, she’s not very good when it comes to touching. She has absolutely no sex life,” Ehiko sweat-dropped.

I face vaulted. Oh my god I can’t believe he said that. And in front of hot guys too?!

There was an awkward silence (I wonder why? GLARE) while I contemplated slamming my head against the wall until my skull split open and my brains spilled out all over the floor and zombies rose from the depths of hell to devour my carcass using plastic sporks. Yeah, that sounded good.

“It’s okay,” Haruhi smiled. “Tamaki-sempai could use some sense knocked into him… or I guess bitten into him…”

“You have such pretty long hair Shae-chan,” Honey said quickly changing the subject. Crisis averted. Thank you midget!

But he was right. I’m not usually one to brag about appearances, but my hair was amazing. Long, blonde, smooth, straight, and shiny. It came to about waist length. My favorite part about being half American: blue eyes and blonde hair.

“Thank you Honey-chama*!” I smiled. “It can get annoying and in the way sometimes since it's so long, but I absolutely love it!"

"How on earth have you been able to grow it that long?" Haruhi asked slightly amazed.

"I haven’t cut it since my parents got divorced.”

“Their marriage obviously didn’t last long,” Hikarou snorted. This time Tamaki didn’t notice.

“Would you like to pet usa-chan?” Honey asked, holding his pink bunny rabbit out to me.

“Usa? As in Usagi? Shouldn’t it be Una as in Unagi**?” I asked confused.

The boys stared at me like I was a moron.

“… She gets… confused… sometimes,” Ehiko laughed nervously, scratching at the back of his head.