I Wanna Take a Ride on Your Disco Stick

“E!” I screamed flinging open the connecting door. “I GOT JIPPED! I GOT JIPPED! Just look at my room! Dear god you couldn’t even fit a small dog in here!”

“Shane, you fit and you’re way bigger than a small dog, but it’s true, you did get quite jipped,” He said peering around me into the tiny room.

“Are you saying I’m fat?!” I demanded, stamping my foot.

Ehiko ignored me and pushed his way into the room. It was microscopic compared to the size of his room. With a twin size bed, an armoire, and a vanity it was a tight squeeze. There was only one room, excluding the bathroom and the teeny tiny closet.

“Can we please trade?” I begged, digging my nails into his arm, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

“Hell no!”

“But you know I’m claustrophobic!” I sobbed.

“Well Shae it’s time to face your fears,” Ehiko said, side stepping me and retreating back into his mansion sized suite.

“But navy blue is not my color! IT MAKES ME LOOK PASTY!” I yelled just as he shut the door in my face.

“You are pasty, but I’ll help you paint the walls if you’d like.”

“I DON’T WANT PAINT! I WANT A BIGGER ROOM!”

“Fine, then you can go get one on a different floor!” He shouted. Yes, we were having a conversation through a door. Apparently my room was so hideous E couldn’t even bear the sight of it. Well either that or the fact that I drew blood when I attack his arm with my recently manicured nails…

“But then I’ll be all alone and be forced to make friends with the awful bitches who live on either side of me, Sachiko and Sakura! THEY’RE SO MEAN!” Okay I’ll admit it, my imagination tends to go a little wild every now and then, but knowing my luck I would end up with a room next to some rich bitch. Hell what am I thinking? The entire place is filled with rich bitches!

“Who the hell are Sakura and Sachiko?!”

“You know… them,” I said, my voice turning into a creepy whisper towards the end.

“Ehhh right… Well I’m going to go down to dinner to see if I can grab a seat next to the twins. Are you going to come with or just sit there and mope before you have a panic attack, choke on your own spit, and die?”

As if on cue, my stomach gave a loud and hungry growl. I was just about to reply that yes, I really would enjoy some food before my internal organs decided to devour themselves out of hunger, when I realized what that meant.

“Are you stupid? I can’t eat in front of hot guys! I’ll make a complete retard of myself and they’ll see how fat I really am!”

“Shane Kuromi Honaka, you are not fat. You only weigh 43 kilos! If you ask me, you could use a little meat on those bones.”

“Only?” I shrieked. Damn sucker was smoking weed again, wasn’t he?

“Please Shae-Shae,” He begged, and just from the tone of his voice I could tell he was making that face. My only weakness. His puppy dog eyes. Also please note that Ehiko is the only, I repeat ONLY person allowed to call me Shae-Shae. No exceptions. That’s that. Got it? Good.

“God fine, but if Mori decides I’m too fat for him, I’ll cut off your dick with a spoon and feed it to a monkey.”

“You need professional help,” Ehiko said, wrenching the door open.

“Surprisingly enough, you my dear, are not the first person to suggest that.”

“Hey you know Shae, guys don’t like it when girls are too skinny. It feels like you’re going to break them when you try and just give them a hug. You should stop being so uptight about your weight, you’re a beautiful young girl and should be getting proper nutrition-“

I held up my hand as a signal for him to stop his little pep talk.

“I’ve already gotten this talk from my mother, and a lot of other awkward talks that I’d rather not discuss,” I gave a small shudder. “My point is you can shut up now.”

He rolled his eyes, but all the same linked arms with me and we skipped all the way down to the dining hall.

The moment we got there, E’s eyes locked on someone sitting towards the back. Following his gaze, I realized it was the host club from before, or more specifically, the Hitachiin twins. They were waving at us, causing Ehiko’s cheeks flush bright pink and him to look away shyly.

“Uh… Oh my gosh! Shae look over there!” He said pointing in the opposite of the host club.

“What is it?” I asked excitedly looking where he pointed, though I couldn’t seem to find anything interesting enough for him to cause a scene about… “Hey E I don’t see-” but sure enough when I turned around Ehiko was gone. “Bastard,” I muttered, catching sight of him across the café. And, as expected, he’d pulled up a chair in between the Hitachiin boys.

“Very funny Jackass,” I snapped, sliding into the seat across from. It was only after I’d sat down that I realized I’d picked the seat right next to Takashi.

Aw man! He’ll think I’m a pig for sure!

I slunk down in my chair and without realizing it, started to give off weird purple-y black vibes.

“Are you okay Honaka-kohai?” Mori asked and he sounded concerned too.

He used Kohai* as an honorific? I’ve never heard that used as an honorific before. How cute! But what if that means he thinks I’m juvenile because I’m a freshmen and he’s a senior? Oh who am I kidding? He’s way out of my league!

“eh… er… uh… yes!” I squeaked.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He definitely thinks I’m immature now! I need to think of something cool to say, fast. Hmmm let’s see… Oh no! I can’t think of anything. Oh dear god! I’m starting to panic! I can’t breathe!

“Isn’t that right Shae?” Ehiko laughed, jerking me back to reality.

“Huh?” I asked, a slight blush crawling up my neck.

“I was telling them about how awful your room is,” E explained.

And just like that I was okay again. The muscles in my chest loosened and air slowly began to fill my lungs again. It was like he’d pulled me out of the murky ocean depths of my mind, back to the surface full of fresh, icy air. “Oh my god! I know! It’s so small and cramped I feel like a commoner. There’s barely even any room to breathe. And don’t get me started on the horrendous wall color. They must’ve hired a color blind painter!”

Thank you Ehiko. What would I ever do without you?