On a Countdown to Zero Take a Ride on the Nightmare Machine

My taxi pulled into the driveway of my house. I noticed all the lights were off, and my fathers’ car was gone. It was a little odd, but I decided to make nothing of it as paid the driver and walked into the house. I just wanted to grab a snack, get a quick shower, and pass out in my nice soft bed. I’d had a long very stressful day. Before I left for work at the diner, my father decided he needed to remind me of every little thing that was wrong with my life, which resulted in a very heated argument.

I walked into the kitchen, not bothering with my shoes. When I turned on the lights I was met with the sight of our usual spotless kitchen. I grabbed a fresh green apple out of the fridge, and closed the door with one swift motion. I noticed there was a note held onto the fridge with a little magnet. My mothers usually neat, almost perfect script, was almost nothing but chicken scratch as of the note had been scribbled in haste.

My heart rate started to increase, as I tried to decipher the note. I gave up after only seconds, and made my way to the phone to call the one legible thing on the little rectangle of white paper, a phone number. It wasn’t one that I recognized, but I wasted no time dialing it.

After a few rings a woman answered, and informed me that I had reached Northern General Hospital. My stomach dropped to my feet, as I asked for my parents. She found what room they were in and put me through to them. It hadn’t been more then two minutes and I already felt sick to my stomach with worry. As much as my parents pissed me off, I loved them about ten times more, though we never really told each other that.

“Hello?” my mothers voice came over the receiver, I could tell she had been crying from the tone of her voice.

“Mum, what’s going on? What are you in the hospital?” I asked quickly, as I paced back and fourth in front of the phone’s cradle on the wall.

“Thank goodness it’s you, Gypsy.” I heard her softly sniff before continuing, “right before I started to make dinner your father was having severe chest pains, and his arms were tingling. So I rushed him right here… he had a small heart attack.”

I gasped in horror, this could not be happening to my father, I franticly cut her off with my questions; “but he’s okay now, right? He has to be! Daddy’s okay, right mum?”

She hushed me, “let me finish please,” she took a deep breath, “they think there’s some kind of blockage in his heart, they’ve got him hooked up to all sorts of things at the moment. Tomorrow they’re going to perform a test that will tell them if they can do a simple procedure to get rid of whatever may be wrong… but if they don’t like what they see… he may have to go through open heart surgery…”

It felt like the room was spinning around me. This could not be happening, it just couldn’t, “can… can I talk to him?”

“He’s sleeping now… I think it would be best if I don’t wake him.” She sighed, “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow and-“

“No!” I almost yelled, “you need to come get me now. I need to be there!”

“Gypsy, I’m not leaving your father,” she used a stern tone, that she had never used with me before in my entire life, “ it’s past ten, the hospital’s locked up now. Go over to the Clarks and stay with them for the night. I’ll come get you tomorrow. Good night… thank you for calling.”

There was a soft click and the line went dead. I slammed the receiver back onto the cradle, only to have it fly back off from the force. I let out a scream of frustration and kicked the wall. How could she just tell me to go over to the Clarks when my father was in the hospital? She should have called me at work so I could have gone straight to the hospital with them.

I stormed upstairs and ripped off my uniform as I went. I quickly changed into a pair of dolphin shorts and my UFO t-shirt. I didn’t bother to change my white canvas sneakers before I made my way back down stares. I was just so mad I couldn’t even think about anything else.

I walked outside, across the lawn, and over to Steves open window. I knew he was probably out with the guys having a good time, because I had to work. I didn’t want to wake up his parents, so I just climbed into his room through his window. Hot angry tears were now starting to fall down my cheeks, as I landed on his floor with a slight thump.

As I started to take off my shoes off, there was a soft click, and a bright light almost blinded me. I knelt, frozen for a second, before I realized it was just Steve. He smiled sleepily at me, but that smile quickly turned into a frown as he sat up in his bed.

“What’s the matter, luv?” he asked, as I pulled off my shoes and tossed them beside the open window.

I hurried over to him, climbed into the bed beside him and snuggled into his side, “my parents are at the hospital… my dad had a heart attack,” I choked on a sob, as I buried my face into Steves chest, “he has some sort of blockage in his heart, and he might need open heart surgery.”

“Oh god,” Steve sounded more awake now, as he held me tighter against his body, “when did all this happen?”

I shrugged and shook my head, “while I was at work I guess, I didn’t find out until a few minutes ago… oh god, Steve… what if something bad happens to him?”

I was starting to cry hot scared tears now; they were just flowing from my eyes. I hadn’t really thought about that part before. And now that I had it felt like there was a huge pressure on my chest.

“Oh God. What if something really bad happens, Steve? What am I gonna do?” I sobbed, I grabbed onto him tighter, “the last thing I said to him was; ‘all you care about is what other people think of us, not about me, not about mum, just what random strangers think.’ And then I told him that I hated him,” I looked up at Steve, who was looking back at me with his light blue eyes, that were so full of sorrow that I almost cried harder, “what if that’s the last thing I ever get to say to him?”

I buried my face in his side again, and continued to sob. I couldn’t form words anymore. The salty taste of tears was on my lips and seeping into my mouth. My stomach tightened, and I felt as though I was going to be sick. How could I have ever said those things to him? And what if those really the last words I ever got to say to him?

Steve started to rub small soothing circles on my back, as he kissed the top of my head, “don’t worry… your dad’s a strong man, he’ll get through this…”

“I can’t lose him, I can’t.” I choked on tears, and started to cough, “I need my daddy, he can’t die. I don’t know what I’d do without him. He can’t die… he cant… I need to tell him how much I love him… he needs to be okay.”

Steve started to gently rock us back and fourth, “he’s going to be just fine, babe. He will. And you’ll be able to tell him you love him all that you want. Trust me… shhhh, calm down, everything’s gonna be just fine, shhhh.”

I wanted so badly to believe what Steve was saying to me, but I just couldn’t. I continued to cry and squeeze him tight. And he continued to hold me and gently rock us back and fourth.

And as we continued to do so, I very slowly started to get more and more fatigued. And I began to fall asleep.

I snapped my eyes open and looked into Steves half closed eyes. I needed him to know this, almost desperately, “I love you.”

He gave me a soft sleepy smile, before giving me a gentile kiss, “I know, and I you, luv. Now go to sleep, you’ve had a rough day.”

I slowly nodded my head and rested it against Steves hard bony chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart drum me into a deep sleep. I wasn’t sure how he was able to do it, but just being around Steve always calmed me down. Though I was still very much worried about my father. He was so important to me, as much as I hated him most of the time. All I ever wanted was to make him proud of me. And it didn’t seem like I was going to get that chance now.