Honeymoon in Bikini Bottom

I clutched David’s hand as the plane began to land. Today was my very first time flying and, consequently, my first time landing as well. I was a little bit scared and thought it was a little rough for my taste, but apparently it was normal to be a little rough. Who knew? As soon as we claimed our luggage and found the exit, we climbed into our cab and gave the address to the five-star hotel we would be spending our honeymoon nights in.

As soon as we made it into our hotel suite, I opened my suitcase and began digging for my bathing suit. While I was in the process of getting a few necessary things together, David came up behind me and started kissing me neck up and down. He nibbled on my ear lobe when I didn’t respond, knowing it was my secret sweet spot.

“We’ve got all night for that, David,” I told him, grabbing him by the chin and giving him a kiss. “Right now we need to get ready to go scuba diving! Get your things together!”

With a few more pleas to stay in the room a little longer, he finally complied and got ready to go.



“Oh, God. This is not happening. This is not happening. I’m not scuba diving.”

I chuckled as David started having a miniature panic attack right in front of the instructor. We were on a boat several miles out into the ocean and he was just now expressing his fear about diving into the open water with many different species of sea creatures. I grabbed his hand and flashed him a smile to show him it was going to be okay, but I also winked at him to tell him he was being a goofball. He checked to make sure all of his gear was on and placed correctly and then gave my hand a squeeze.

“You made fun of me for being scared to ride on a plane and you’re scared of swimming with fish?” I joked. He didn’t find it funny, though. He shot a glare over to me, but it only made my smile bigger.

The instructor interrupted our mini-spat. “Okay, folks. If you follow the instructions exactly as we practiced, you should come up alive and unscathed. Do you have any questions?”

I shook my head in response. Contrary to David, I was in a hurry to get into the water. The instructor gave us the okay to begin our journey and, hand in hand, David and I dove into the water. On the way down, I enjoyed the view of everything in the beautifully clear water. After we got past ten feet, I glanced over at David’s face to see how he was doing. A fish swam past him and the look on his face was priceless. I wanted laugh or make fun of him, but I didn’t want to make him any more angry at me.

Just as I reached my hand out to grab ahold of him, a whirlpool of water grabbed me and whirled me around. I tried to jerking my head around to find sight of my husband, but the current had me moving too quickly. I focused on breathing slowly and tried not to panic until I was finally let go. I glanced all around me until I saw David who looked like he had just about wet his pants. He looked over at me with surprise covering his face and quickly gripped my arm.

We were now gently floating downward. It was peaceful, but David still appeared a little frightened until we finally hit the bottom and were able to walk. We landed in what looked like an underground city or, rather, a small town. I would say it was what people call Atlantis, but I noticed that it wasn’t extravagant enough to be credited as Atlantis.

We started walking around, looking at all of the creatures who started back at us and admiring the unique but odd architecture of the buildings. I stopped on the sidewalk by a bench where a fish was sitting, eating a burger.

“What is this place?” I asked him.

“Bikini Bottom,” he informed me.

I looked over at David, confused, but he only shrugged.

David and I continued walking around. We were still confused about what was happening, but we were also enjoying the experience. It wasn’t in the brochure, but it was definitely something I would remember for the rest of my life.

A couple of blocks later, we noticed a stand with a fish and dozens of balloons. The front of the stand read, “Free Balloons.” For the heck of it, David and I walked over to get our free balloons. As we were picking out which colors we wanted, a voice from behind said, “Boy, you critters sure look familiar!”

I turned around at the sound of the voice to see a squirrel in what looked like a space suit. I gasped in nothing but surprise at the sight of it.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle y’all!” she drawled in response to my gasp. “I’m Sandy. What brings the two of y’all here? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen humans walkin’ around down here.”

“We were just scuba diving and accidentally found our way here,” I replied, a bit scared now. “I’m pretty tired, though, so I think we’ll be going back now.”

“You’re joking right?” Sandy laughed. “Have you looked above your head? It is stormin’ hard up there! It’s way too dangerous to go back tonight. You might have to wait a few days until the storm rides out.”

David and I looked up and then at each other, both of us alarmed by the news. I had no idea how we were going to survive completely underwater for days at a time. We had oxygen tanks, but they didn’t last forever.

“If you want to stay with me, I can get you guys suited up so you don’t have to where those mediocre oxygen tanks,” Sandy offered as if she was reading my thoughts.

I agreed and David and I followed Sandy as she led us to where we would be staying. Once we arrived to our destination, my eyes got wide at what it was. It was a large dome that looked like piece of land was being kept in a snow globe. Sandy led inside and we took off our wetsuits. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the breath of fresh air.

“You guys just make yourself at home. If y’all are hungry, you can just go to the fridge in my tree. I got to go play kar-at-tay with my pal down the street,” she said, karate chopping the air.
After she left the tree dome, David and I looked at each other, both of us excited about the new adventure we were about to start.