Sometimes We Takes Chances, Sometimes We Take Pills

They kept having to up my sleeping pills because I kept having nightmares that he wasn’t coming back. My room mate all about killed me in efforts to get me to shut up. I wanted to be home. No, I wanted to be with Mikey. They gave up on trying to medicate my sleeping habits and moved me to my own room instead. Mikey didn’t visit for three weeks. I was afraid my nightmares were coming true. I yelled and screamed in therapy. I came out with red, wet eyes. My therapist kept telling me I had to stop hating myself; I had to stop blaming everything on myself. I couldn’t help it. It’s my fault I’m here. It’s my fault Mikey isn’t coming back. It’s my fault my room mate couldn’t sleep for the few weeks they experimented with different doses of pills until they moved me into my own room. Every time I heard the word coffee, or lips I cringed.

Three weeks and four days, I had been counting. “Pete, you have a visitor.”
“Huh?” Who would visit me. I got up just as a hesitant looking Mikey came through the doors.
I stalked up over to him, “So, you’re absent for almost a month, and then you just decide to waltz in here?” My hands stood firmly on my hips.
“I’m sorry,” Mikey said sheepishly.
My eyes narrowed, “Apology not accepted.”
The light in Mikey’s eyes dimmed and he sighed, “Let me explain?”
I looked over my shoulder, it’d been a month. I was allowed to walk the grounds and go outside.
“I’m going outside,” I yelled and wrote my name on the board before grabbing Mikey and heading outside. I hadn’t realized it was winter; but I didn’t care. I bounced in my hoodie, trying to warm up as we wandered around the unit.
“So, you going to explain?” I grumbled unhappily.
“Yeah, um... I told Gerard, ‘cuz I tell Gerard everything...” Mikey stumbled to find words.
“You told Gerard what, exactly?”

“That we kissed...” I couldn’t tell if Mikey’s cheeks were red from the raw cold, or that he was blushing. “And he got mad... he said I shouldn’t be involved with someone in a hospital.” Mikey rubbed the back of his neck and let out a small laugh. “Well, at least he’s not mad ‘cuz I’m gay?”

I didn’t laugh with him; I just stopped walking. “So,” I mumbled. “Are you here to tell me you don’t want to be involved with someone in a hospital? Someone crazy? Someone like me?”
Mikey’s eyes widened behind his glasses, “N-no! I... I did some thinking and I think Hemmingway helped but I decided to fuck what Gerard said. I like you.”
I blushed, hiding my face in the hood of my sweatshirt. I couldn’t hide the grin on my face. Mikey pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. “Is that okay?” He asked.
I laughed and nodded, giving him a kiss. “It’s more than okay, coffee lips.”