Answering Machine

Thunder rolled violently through the dark night, and lightning accompanied it, flashing brightly through the sky as it illuminated the street and the yard outside of the window. I sighed with content, pulling the blankets closer to my chin and stealing a glance at the clock on the bedside table. The bright, blue numbers caused me to squint in the darkness as I made out the time, 1:53 AM. I sighed again, this time feeling forlorn.

I laid there, in the dark, for a few moments, with the glow of the clock splashing a blue light across my pillow until I was sure I had heard the successive sounds of the front door opening and closing, bags being dropped haphazardly on the floor, and keys being tossed onto the table next to the door. I smiled sleepily to myself, closing my eyes and hugging a pillow close to my chest as footsteps made their way up the stairs.

A burst of yellow light from the hallway flooded into the room as the door opened. I opened my eyes the slightest bit, until they were barely slits of vision, watching through my eyelashes as John moved into the room, gently shutting the door behind him, returning the room to its shades of darkness. Before he moved any further, he turned his head in my direction, and I shut my eyes and slowed my breathing, pretending to be asleep.

I strained my ears to listen closely as the floorboards beneath the carpet creaked quietly until suddenly, the mattress shifted behind me and an arm wound itself tightly around my waist.

“I know you’re awake,” John murmured against my neck, directly below my ear. I smiled complacently and opened my eyes, staring out the window as another streak of lightning flew through the night. The stubble on his jaw brushed against my skin as he pressed his lips to the hollow behind my ear. I remained quiet, smiling, thinking.

“Lindsay,” he whispered, his voice hushed and slow. He stretched his hand out to grasp my own and ran his thumb gently over my knuckles and fingertips. “What are you thinking about?”

I only smiled more, having known that if I didn’t speak he would have asked me that precise question. My body relaxed against his and I let out a deep breath before responding.

“Allie.”

“Hmm?” he hummed sleepily after a pause of silence. “Who’s Allie?”

I shifted myself under the grasp of his arm and twisted around to face him. His eyes were closed and his rain-soaked hair stuck matted to his forehead. He was still completely dressed, clad in black jeans and a red, plaid shirt, not having bothered to change out of his damp clothes before crawling into bed with me. I rested my head against his chest and he instinctively pulled me closer.

“If we have a baby girl,” I began slowly, quietly, hesitantly, “I think we should name her Allie.”

My words were followed by a nervous silence, and after a moment I picked my head up from John’s chest to look at him. His eyes were open now, widely, and even in the dark I could see the shimmers of green and specks of gold twinkling back at me.

“Are you telling me you want to have a baby?” he asked after another few moments of quiet thought. I smiled weakly and bit my lip, shaking my head slowly against the pillow beneath me.

“No,” I told him, closing my eyes as I took a breath before reopening them. “I’m telling you that we are having a baby.”

“A baby?” he repeated immediately, the grip that he still held on my hand loosening ever so slightly.

“Yes, John, a baby,” I assured him.

“So you’re pregnant?”

“Yes,” I sighed. John lifted his head from the pillow and sat up, running his hands through his messy hair and over his face. I followed suit and sat up, scooting next to him so I could pull his hands away from his face, grasping them and letting them fall gently to his lap.

“Wow,” he muttered solitarily, staring down at our intertwined hands.

“Are you – you’re not upset, are you?” I asked, my heart lurching and my stomach tumbling nauseously at the idea of the possibility. How could he not want this?

“What?” he asked, looking up at me quickly and giving my hands a squeeze of reassurance. “No! God, no, I’m not upset.”

I felt as if my entire body heaved a sigh of relief once he spoke, and I managed a small smile.

“Are – are you sure?” I asked, because something still felt off.

“Lindsay,” John sighed, tugging on my hands to pull me closer, “I’m positive. I’m sorry, this isn’t how I should react, is it?”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the blanket beneath us. John leaned forward and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger against my skin for a moment before they trailed down the length of my nose before finally reaching my lips, if only for a brief moment.

“I love you,” he reminded me, like he did every day, “and I’m happy, really; I’m ecstatic. I just – I’m in a bit of shock, you know?”

I nodded my head meekly and fixed my gaze upwards toward him. He stared at me for a moment, but then his eyebrows knitted together and he looked at me with a quizzical expression.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?” I asked, pulling back a slight bit to look at him better. “What do you mean?”

“Linds, I haven’t been home for almost a month.”

He looked as if he was going to say more, before his face contorted with a look that seemed as if some sort of realization was dawning on him.

“Is the baby mine?”

“What?!” I repeated again, looking at him incredulously. “Of course the baby is yours, John!”

A look of relief washed quickly over his face, but concern still remained evident in his expression.

“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone,” I began to explain, leaning towards him so our knees were touching and I could feel his nervous, steady breaths against my skin. “I wanted to be able to tell you in person. And I was even going to fly out to see you when I found out, but it didn’t work out, and then I realized that what if you didn’t want a baby now and I just ruined your tour and – “

He cut me off by cupping my face in his hands and bringing his lips to mine, kissing me this time with much more enthusiasm than he had moments ago. I kissed him back, pulling on the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer, if at all possible, until he pulled back a bit, a smile beginning to spread widely across his face.

“We’re having a baby,” he stated, true realization starting to swim in his eyes.

“We are,” I said, reflecting his smile.

“Oh my god, we’re having a baby.”

I simply nodded and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulled me into his lap.

“You’re going to be a dad,” I told him, and I swear, I had never seen his face light up the way it did in that moment. I smiled and buried my head in his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

“The greatest dad ever,” he corrected.

I smiled, mumbling into his chest, “I’m going to hold you to that one.”

“I hope you do,” he said, kissing the top of my head. We stayed silent for a few moments, until he spoke again. “Hey, if we have a boy, is he going to be the sixth?”

I looked up at him wearily before responding.

“We’re going to have a girl.”