Dezanove Estrelas

The Bernabéu.

The historic stadium means a variety of different things, to many different people. To Madrid fans, it was a place of gathering, for enjoyment and love for a fantastic sport. To workers, it was like a second home. To the players of Real Madrid, it was is home.

It was way after-hours, seeing as it was four o’ clock in the morning; and despite the chill air, she was contently wrapped in her over-sized Real Madrid hooded jacket. She wore a pair of warm pajama pants, that tucked into her boots. Her hair was lazily thrown into a ponytail, as she lay herself down on her throw blanket.

She set down her blanket on the cold turf of the football field. First she sat, then she lie back in a comfortable position for both herself and her baby. She hit the switch of her flashlight and turned it off. Now, it was just her and the stars.

It was nearing midnight, and Camilla could not sleep. Not with the media circus back home on her television. It’s been a week since Camilla found out the reports about Cristiano’s suspected leave from Real Madrid. And in this last week, the news has only gone up in flames.

She closed her eyes and sighed thinking about the report she had seen just before she left the house.

“No tal confirmación ha sido revelada todavía acerca del número de Madrid Verdadero 7, Cristiano Ronaldo. El joven huelguista portugués ha estado supuestamente ausente del por delante de las prácticas de dos semana con el equipo Verdadero de Madrid. Y si dejar de coberturndo en el atletismo y llego a ser podencos de medios, nosotros también le diríamos que la vida personal de Ronaldo también ha sido dudosa. Aparentemente, Ronaldo y el prometido, el modisto, Camilla-Rey Verano tiene separa. Aunque, eso es también sólo especulación…” (“No such confirmation has been revealed yet about Real Madrid’s number 7, Cristiano Ronaldo. The young Portuguese striker has reportedly been absent from the past two week’s practices with the Real Madrid team. And if we were to quit reporting on athletics and become media hounds, we would also tell you that Ronaldo’s personal life has also been questionable. Apparently, Ronaldo and fiancé, fashion designer, Camilla-Rey Verano have split up. Though, that is also just speculation…”)

To say that things will get better, and life couldn’t get any worse, would be a lie. At least how she saw it. Stress. Tears. Frustration. It all hit her so hard, she couldn’t handle it. So that is why she had to leave. And that’s why she’s here. At the Bernabéu.

She hummed a quiet tune to herself as she gazed up at the stars. Lately, she’s never really had the chance to look at them. To really enjoy them. In fact, the last time she remembers really just kicking back and staring at the twinkling wonders…was the night of Cristiano’s formal introduction to Real Madrid.

Camilla couldn’t help the smile that came to her face as she thought about that night…

-X-

Camilla turned every corner and walked through just about every corridor of the stadium, looking for her boyfriend. She asked workers, she asked team members, she even asked strangers if they knew where he would be. In fact, the presentation had ended about two hours ago. But she figured Cristiano would be doing interviews and changing, etc. So she let it be. But when she saw people leaving the stadium, along with coaches and team and press…she knew it was time to go.

But Cristiano never came out, and it was getting dark.

Groaning, she silently cursed Cris; frustrated that she could not find him. So she tried walking back to the field. Once there, she spotted that white, number 9, jersey sitting down in the middle of the field. She sighed and smiled. She found him.

Camilla walked over to Cristiano and sat down beside him. Neither really spoke. Camilla did not need to ask to know what was going on in his head. Today was a big day for him. A big, exciting, and memorable day. She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Camilla felt his arm lift and wrap around her shoulder. In return, she wound her arms around his waist.

Cris kissed the top of her head, “Possa-o acreditá-lo.” (“can you believe it.”) he said softly.

She smiled, “Naturalmente eu posso.” (“of course I can.”)

“Oh realmente? Somente como esse huh?” (“Oh really? Just like that huh?”) Cristiano chuckled.

Camilla looked up at Cris, and kissed his neck, “Naturalmente. Você merece este mel. Você trabalhou tão muito receber a onde você é. Eu sou orgulhoso de você.” (“Of course. You deserve this honey. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are. I’m proud of you.”)

He pecked her lips, “Eu amo-o.” She smiled back and all Cris could think about was their future. In a flash of a second, he saw the two of them ten years from now. Her clothing line was successful across the world. He was still playing the pitch. And they lived happily in their Madrid home, with their two children. Cristiano was positive that this move was the perfect one for the both of them…

-X-

If someone had said three years ago, that she and Cristiano would be facing problems they are now, she’d laugh in their faces. Back then, it all seemed so easy. They were young, well younger than they are now, they were just living for themselves and nothing else seemed to matter. If only she could go back to then.

Camilla sighed and sat up, suddenly feeling a kick. She chuckled and raised an eyebrow, asking her baby softly, “O que agora?” (“what now?”) She realized over her three months of pregnancy, that the baby only ever kicked when Camilla was stressed, excited, or something was about to happen. She swore that whoever he or she in her stomach was, was psychic.

She rubbed her tummy softly, when she heard a rustle behind her. Her head snapped back and she saw the faint outline of a man slowly walking towards her. At first she could not recognize him, but as he came closer, and he stopped merely steps behind her, her eyes widened and she stood up.

“Cristiano?” she stated, more than asked. He simply nodded. He was wearing a pair of practice-training pants, and a hooded jacket. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. “Uhm, o que você faz aqui?” (“uhm, what are you doing here?”)

He shrugged, “Necessário um lugar pensar. E eu acabo de aterrissar de Portugal. Isto era o primeiro lugar que eu pensei em vir.” (“needed a place to think. And I just landed from Portugal. This was the first place I thought to come.”) She nodded, understanding. In addition to the little moment they had shared here the night of his presentation, she knew he loved to sneak into the Bernabéu after hours to just think.

Then it dawned on her. “A espera, você estava em Portugal este tempo inteiro?” (“Wait, you were in Portugal this whole time?”)

He stepped closer, but still stood his distance, “Sim. Eu estava com minha mãe.” (“Yup. I was with my mother.”) Her face turned into a frown. She had called his mother, to ask about Cris’s whereabouts, but she told her that she did not know. Cristiano noticed the look on her face and chuckled lightly, “Eu contei minha mãe não contar qualquer um eu estava aí. Eu necessitei que algum tempo pensasse, e realmente não quis ser achado, por qualquer um.” (“I told my mother not to tell anyone I was there. I needed some time to think, and really did not want to be found, by anyone.”)

As if out of habit, Camilla scoffed, “Cristiano que você teve-nos todo preocupado! Faça-o não saber como estúpido que era somente entrar em esconder!” (“Cristiano you had us all worried! Do you not know how stupid that was to just go into hiding!”)

Camilla expected him to lash back, but he didn’t. He just stood there, with his hands in his pockets, “Eu acabo de necessitar para pensar sobre algum coisas Camilla e-” (“I just needed to think about some things Camilla and-”)

“Para pensar!” (“To think!”) she yelled, “Pense sobre o que Cris! Você teve-me realçou fora para duas semanas e este tempo inteiro você estava em Portugal! Cristiano que isto é porque-” (“Think about what Cris! You had me stressed out for two weeks and this whole time you were in Portugal! Cristiano this is why-”)

“Camilla,” he intervened softly, “Você contou-me partir, e eu respeitei isso.” (“you told me to leave, and I respected that.”)

She stopped mumbling. Her breathing was ragged from her outburst, and she felt embarrassed. It was true, no denying that, that she had kicked him out. She even told him to leave countless times and finally he listened. Silence fell over each of them and Camilla was tired of standing. She sat back down on her blanket, brought her knees to her chest, and rested her face on her knees. Moments later, she felt the warmth of Cristiano’s body beside hers. A feeling she had honestly missed.

Sighing, she lifted her head and looked up at the stars. “É Cristiano verdadeiro?” (“Is it true Cristiano?”)

He did not have to ask to know what she was talking about. Cris sighed and nodded. “sim.” (“yes.”)

“Porque Cristiano? Porque? Você trabalhou sua vida inteira receber a onde você é e você abandona isso? O que em sua mente compele-o fazer isto!” (“Why Cristiano? Why? You’ve worked your whole life to get to where you are and you’re giving that up? What in your mind is compelling you to do this!”) she was getting worked up again, but took a deep breath to calm her down. She turned her head to look at him when he did not answer. Cristiano’s head hung low, and his shoulders slumped. “Cristiano! Responda-me!” (“Cristiano! Answer me!”) but he did not. He only lifted his head to look at Camilla, then his eyes roamed down to her baby bump.

Camilla’s jaw dropped. “Cristiano…não.” (“Cristiano…no.”) He nodded. “Cristiano que é estúpido!” (“Cristiano that’s stupid!”)

“Como!” he raised his voice. She was a little taken back, and he noticed. Inhaling sharply, he lowered his tone, “Camilla, você não vê? Eu quero começar sobre. Eu quero estar em sua vida. E este dilema inteiro é por causa de futebol. Por causa de minha carreira! Não é somente valor! Eu perdi meu noivo, e agora eu perco minha criança porque eu tornei-me obcecado com tudo que não é somente importante mais! Eu não quero-o. Eu não necessito futebol. ” (“Camilla, don’t you see? I want to start over. I want to be back in your life. And this whole dilemma is because of football. Because of my career! It’s just not worth it! I’ve lost my fiancé, and now I’m losing my child because I have become obsessed with everything that’s just not important anymore! I don’t want it. I don’t need football.”)

“Sim, você, faz!” (“Yes, you, do!”) she pressed. By now, they were standing again.

He shook his head in defiance, “Não eu não faço Camilla!” (“No I don’t Camilla!”)

“Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro!”

He quieted at his full name. A trick Camilla learned from his mother.

She stepped closer and grabbed his chin. She forced him to look down at her. “Cristiano, eu não posso deixar você abandona seus sonhos, para algo tão estúpido como esta luta.” (“Cristiano, I cannot let you give up your dreams, for something as stupid as this fight.”)

Cris lifted his hands, bringing them to her cheeks. The seriousness in his eyes almost scared Camilla. He sighed resting his forehead on hers, “Você não pode mudar minha decisão. E você sabe maldita bem, que isto estava não só uma luta. Era um acorda-se exige-me Camilla. Eu era egoísta, escolher minha carreira sobre você. Sobre nosso bebê. E eu era estúpido já pensar que você enganaria em mim. Você foi nada mas fiel desde o momento nós encontramos. Eu não abandono futebol para uma "luta". Eu abandono futebol porque somente não importa mais. Minha vida foi dada prioridade todo errado - e isto é o próprio castigo. Eu não mereço jogar um jogo desavergonhado…” (“You can not change my decision. And you know damn well, that this was not just a fight. It was a wake up call for me Camilla. I was selfish, to choose my career over you. Over our baby. And I was stupid to ever think that you would cheat on me. You have been nothing but faithful since the moment we met. I’m not giving up football for a “fight”. I’m giving up football because it just doesn’t matter anymore. My life has been prioritized all wrong - and this is my own punishment. I don’t deserve to play a shameless game…”)

Camilla closed her eyes, just trying to digest his words. She shook her head, not even realizing how hard she was crying now. This wasn’t right. None of this was right.

Cristiano wound his arms around her body and held her as she cried. Camilla felt his body shake; she knew he was crying too.

With her face resting in the crook of his neck she inhaled his scent. That intoxicating scent that still, even in the chaos of this moment sent her into euphoria. She opened her eyes and looked to the night sky. How can it be, that even on a night as beautiful as tonight, her world can come crashing down like hell overturning planet earth. She couldn’t understand it.

Mumbling, she told Cris, “Se é isto muito agora, como será quando o bebê realmente vem?” (“If it’s this hard now, how is it going to be when the baby actually comes?”)

“Será muito trabalho Camilla. Mas se você permite que me seja, eu serei aí para você e o bebê.” (“It’s going to be hard work Camilla. But if you allow me to be, I will be there for you and the baby.”)

She pulled away to look at him, “E se você não é Cristiano?” (“And if you’re not Cristiano?”) she demanded in rhetoric, more than actually questioned. “Você estava mal aqui de antemão. Como eu sei que você não só tenta conseguir o que queira como sempre?” (“you were barely here beforehand. How do I know you’re not just trying to get your way like always?”)

“Camilla-”

“No!” she shook her head, “Que se eu o necessito, e eu realmente, realmente o necessito e você não está aqui? Huh Cristiano? Que se você não está aqui? O que então?” (“what if I need you, and I really, really need you and you’re not here? Huh Cristiano? What if you’re not here? What then?”)

He could only look down at her, “Eu irei aqui Camilla.” (“I will here Camilla.”)

“Pero-”

“Então Deus pode condenar me a Inferno.” (“Then God can condemn me to Hell.”) She lifted her eyes to stare into his dark brown orbs. He spoke with the utmost sincerity, honesty and seriousness. She wanted to believe Cristiano, she did.

Conflicted.

Ponderous.

Debating.

But she didn’t know what to do.