His Love, Her Resentment

He loved music more than he loved her.

Sophie didn’t know that she could hate something as much as she hated his guitar. Whenever she would watch him play it, jealousy would rage through her body in a way she didn’t think possible. He looked at his guitar in a way that she wished he would look at her. When he held her, the look in his eyes wasn’t the same as the look he got when he was holding his guitar. When he was holding his guitar, there was this fire in his eyes that made them sparkle. When he was holding her, there was no sparkle. As his hands held the guitar, she wished that he would touch her with that same care. He didn’t know how to touch her the way he knew how to touch his guitar.

Then there was the way he looked while he was listening to music. He always looked peaceful and happy when he was listening to music. He never looked like that when he was listening to Sophie. He didn’t put much of himself into their conversations the way he put himself into his music.

Music got all of his attention. Sophie hated music. Sophie hated his guitar. Sophie was starting to hate him.

Sophie loved him. She really did. But resentment was building up inside of her. Resentment that made her want to yell at him. Resentment that made her want to snatch his guitar out of his hands and smash it into little bits.

“I love you,” she said to him. They were sitting together on the couch in his apartment. Of course, his guitar was in his hands and he was strumming it thoughtfully.

“I love you too,” he said, giving her a small smile before returning his attention to his guitar. Sophie could feel an ache starting to form in the back of her throat—she wanted to yell at him.

“Jack,” she said. He looked over at Sophie, not bothering to stop playing his guitar.

“Yeah?” he questioned.

Sophie leaned forward and kissed him softly. The guitar playing stopped and Sophie took this opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth. She placed a hand on his guitar and tried to pull it from his grip and out of her way. But before she could even start pulling it away from Jack’s hands, he was pushing her away.

“Not right now,” he said, smiling at her. Sophie didn’t feel angry now. She felt hurt. He was actually choosing his guitar over her. She watched as Jack began to play his guitar again. Sophie’s eyes stung with unshed tears as she decided what she was going to do.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. Jack stopped playing his guitar and looked at Sophie.

“What?” he asked.

“I said, I can’t do this anymore,” Sophie replied a little louder. “I can’t be with you anymore.”

“Sophie,” Jack said. He surprised her by setting his guitar on the floor. “If this is about before, I’m sorry. I just had an idea running through my head and I didn’t want to lose it.”

“It’s not about that, Jack,” she said. “What happened before was just the last straw. I can’t take being second best in your life anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Jack asked. “You’re not second best to anything.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Sophie said feeling the anger starting to resurface. “If you had to choose between me and your precious guitar, you’d choose your guitar in a heartbeat.”

“Are you being serious right now?” he asked. “Are you telling me that you want out of this relationship because of my guitar?”

“Yes, I am,” Sophie said.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little ridiculous?” Jack questioned. “I love you and that’s all that should matter.”

“No, that’s not all that should matter,” she said. “It’d be nice if for just once I could spend time with just you.”

“You’re spending time with me right now!” Jack exclaimed.

“You call this spending time together?” Sophie asked. “Me sitting here while all of your attention is focused on your guitar?”

“Yes, I do call that spending time together,” Jack replied. Sophie rolled her eyes and stood up.

“I’m leaving,” she said. She walked by the guitar sitting on the floor and had to stop herself from stomping on it with her foot.

“Sophie,” Jack said, following her towards the door leading out of the apartment. “Don’t do this.”

Sophie stopped in her tracks and turned to face Jack.

“If I don’t do this now, I’ll end up breaking your guitar,” Sophie said seriously. “And then you’ll be the one leaving me.”

Jack sighed. The look in her eyes told him that there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

“There’s no way we can figure something out?” Jack asked quietly, even though he already knew the answer. “Just to see if there’s something we could do so that this works for both of us.”

“No,” Sophie replied. “There’s nothing that we can do. You’ll always love music more than you love me.”

Jack didn’t say anything. Silently, Sophie hugged Jack for the last time and left. Jack returned to his guitar, and as he played he knew that the things that Sophie had said were true. He would always love music more than anything.

Jack set his guitar next to him on the couch and picked up the notebook he used to write his music in. He looked at the last thing he had been working on, ‘Sophie’ scrawled at the top of the page in his handwriting followed by music notes he had strung together to make a melody he had thought fit Sophie perfectly. He tore the page out of the notebook, looking over it one last time before crumpling it up. He’d never finish it anyways. His inspiration was gone.