They Took Him

The waves pounded the beach, their familiar roar filling my ears. I could smell that sharp, salty scent and could feel the wet sand squash between my toes.

I hated it. I felt betrayed by it all. I used to trust it, to escape to this familiar, safe beach and let all of my worries free.

Not any more.

The blue water was crystal clear, save for the frothy foam coating the water where it met the golden sand. Off to my right, the sand rose in high dunes before breaking into fresh, green grass, the strands waving in the slight breeze. Breathing deeply, I tasted the sweetness of the air, closing my eyes and spreading my arms, marvelling at the warmth of the sun on my back, attracted by the long black dress I wore.

But no matter the vibrant energy that filled me on this beautiful day, that dark sadness, heavy with hatred, still lived inside me, beating loudly alongside my heart.

I was so caught up in my senses that I nearly didn't notice my name, yelled from a presence behind me. I turned and held my hand over my eyes, shielding the midday sun from my sight. A tall shape was running to catch up to me, dressed fully in black, like me.

“Sophie!” He waved his arms over his head, slowing to a walk. I moved towards him, the water from a new wave running over my feet, trying to drag me back to the ocean with it. My head swam as it tugged at me, and I struggled to walk straight, my body trying to go in two different directions. My heart thudded loudly, echoing in my ears, as I stepped out of the water and back onto the sand, my hands shaking in fear.

He was closer now, and I recognised that soft blonde hair, those smiling lips and crying crystal eyes. When I reached him, he pulled me into a hug, crushing my small body to his large one.

Burying my face in his chest, I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed him in, his scent sweeter, sharper, better then that of the ocean.

“Daniel,” I breathed, and my eyes were suddenly holding too much fluid. I cried into his chest, my tears soaking into the soft black fabric of the dress shirt he wore so elegantly, so proudly. I took a deep breath, drying my tears on the back on my hand, before looking up at him.

Daniel was looking at me with concern written all over his face, the tears washing down his cheeks, too.

I smiled softly, reached up to touch his hair. “You cut it. It looks good.”

He reached up too, grabbing my hand and pulling it to his mouth, kissing it gently. “I needed a change, and this-” He swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing, and it took him a while to speak again. His voice cracked. “Now seemed like a good time.”

Another wave washed in, flowing over our bare feet and pooling around our ankles. I stepped back shakily before it tried to pull me back with it again. I walked backwards, staring at the waves accusingly and feeling the sand turn dry and shift under my feet.

Daniel followed me, catching me when I stumbled back over a stick. He linked his fingers through mine and pulled me to a stop.

“Don't be scared, Sophie. Don't let this affect you that greatly.”

I clenched my jaw, just managing to speak. My voice was hard and strained, my hands balled in fists, crushing Daniel's fingers. He didn't once complain, didn't even pull away. “Not let this affect me? How am I meant to not let this affect me? He died, Daniel! He died, and, and . . .” I stopped, my eyes stinging and the tears pooling again. “For Christ's sake!” I screamed, backhanding the stubborn tears away. No, I didn't want to cry.

“Sophie,” Daniel said softly, pulling me towards him by our joined hands. “Relax. I know this is hard for you- Hell, it's hard for everyone!”

“But, but- I just . . .” I screamed again, the frustration with my lack of words breaking through the falling tears and fuelling me with anger; Anger at myself, at the beach, and at my brother for leaving me.

I wrenched my hand from Daniel's and started to walk up the beach again, my steps thumping and making deep grooves in the sand. Good, I wanted to hurt it as much as it hurt me.

Daniel caught my hand once again, but he walked with me this time rather then pulling us to a stop.

As we walked the tears dried on my face and the wind, picking up, whipped my hair across my face. I started to settle down.

We had been walking down the beach for about a half hour before Daniel broke the comfortable silence we had fallen into so easily. “Sophie . . .” He began, voice uneasy and hesitant. “We should . . . get back. The funeral starts in an hour.”

This time it was me who made us stop. “I- I can't go.”

“Yes, you can. He would have wanted you to.”

“No! You don't understand.”

Daniel hesitated again, running his fingers back through his hair in aggravation, before speaking again in barely suppressed anger. “Why not, Sophie? Please, tell me, because I obviously do not understand!”

I looked at him, at his hard, angled face, and blinked. I blinked again. Did Daniel . . . Did Daniel just yell at me?

“Daniel, please, it, it's not . . . Please forgive me, but you don't understand.”

His face twisted, whether in pain or anger I didn't know, but he took a deep breath and relaxed, his expression fading back into the usual friendly smile. “Then tell me, Sophie.”

“I can't.” I looked away from his eyes, absent-mindedly brushing my black hair away from my face, only to have it float back. Looking out at the ocean, I breathed deeply. “It's my fault.”

Daniel gripped my forearms tightly, forcing me to look at him. “It is not your fault!”

“Yes it is!” I cried, my control snapping again. I was so sick of feeling so fragile. “I- I was out there, and the waves . . .” I shivered. “James was there, and he heard me, and he saved me. But then he- The waves . . . They took him!” I screamed, brushing my hair back again and running my thumb under my eyes.

Daniel pulled me to him again, wrapping his strong arms around me and rocking us gently. “Shush. It's not your fault, Sophie. You're lucky to still be alive. James, he, he wasn't so lucky.”

“Don't say that,” I said, trying to wriggle out of his firm hold. “You have no right to speak about him like that!”

Daniel's arms fell from me, and I jumped back. “No right? I have just as much rights as you do!”

“I was his sister!” My arms came up to fold across my chest, but I dropped them limply, and they fell back to my sides.

“I was his best friend!” Daniel yelled, pointing to himself. “He chose me! He couldn't choose his family!”

I narrowed my eyes, but took another step back. “He loves me! I'm better to him then you are! I'm always there for him, and you aren't!”

Daniel took a step toward me, his face hard again, his eyes narrowed so I couldn't see the brilliant blue. “He died, Sophie. Quit talking about him like he's still here.”

“I have to! If I don't, he'll really be gone!”

“He's already gone!”

I stepped back again, tripping over a stick, and this time, Daniel didn't catch me. I landed heavily on the sand. “It's my fault!”

Daniel shook his head, and his face relaxed. “No, it's not. It's not your fault. You didn't mean to get caught in that rip, you didn't mean to swim back into those heavy waves.”

“It's my fault he was there!”

“Maybe, but it's not your fault he died. But he did that, he saved you, because he loved you! He wouldn't regret it, not if it meant giving his life to save yours.”

I didn't know what to say, so instead of words, I raised my arms, and Daniel lifted me from the ground. “Let's go,” he said softly.

I nodded.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started to lead me back up the beach. I looked up at him. “I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just miss him, so much!”

“I know, I know. I do too.” He squeezed my shoulders. “We still have each other, Sophie.” He paused. “You know, every night, after he died, I laid awake and-”

“Cried? Me too.”

“No, I thanked God for letting you live. I don't know what kind of man I would be if you didn't, if you died with your brother.”

I had to blink back tears again, but tears of a different type. “I'm glad I'm alive too.”

“I love you.”

I stopped and stared at him. “You what?”

Daniel smiled down at me. “I love you.” He leant down and kissed my cheek lightly.

I smiled. “I love you too.”

Daniel's thumb traced my cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear. “Come on Sophie. Let's get to funeral.”

“Yeah. Let's get this over with.”

He took my hand and led me down the beach again. I walked with him, truly happy for the first time since I pulled my brother's dead body from the cold, salty water.