Don't Go Away

[I don’t know why but I couldn’t bear those thoughts.]

__________________________________________

Star’s P.O.V.

I slowly drank the broth of my homemade chicken noodle soup. Emmett sat next to me and let me lean on him as we watched ‘The Lion King.’ Alice sat on the couch on my other side and was rapidly texting someone.

She seemed like she was getting frustrated with something but I didn’t ask her what was wrong. I just let her slowly seethe because I was scared that it had to do something with me. Actually, I knew it had to do with me.

Emmett’s throaty laugh brought me away from my thoughts and back to the screen. He was laughing at Simba eating a grub.

“That is sick!” He bellowed.

Really it wasn’t that funny but whatever helps him sleep at night is fine with me.

Alice suddenly got up in a huff. She looked at me with a certain flare in her eyes. I looked up at her but the way she looked at the door told me I should go with her.

“Emmett, come on. We’re stealing Star!” Alice yelled the last part to Jamie before setting my bowl on the coffee table and grabbing my hand.

“But I’m still in my pajamas! And my hair looks like crap.” I protested half-heartedly.

To be honest, I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to go anywhere.

“To bad.” She retorted and pulled me along.

I groaned but slipped on my Vans and went with out to a lifted off-road Jeep.

“Sweet.” I said, slightly impressed.

“Yeah, it’s my baby.” Emmett smirked.

“Rosalie’s going to kill you.” I commented, hauling myself up into the backseat.

“Not if someone tells her.” He said, casting me a look over his shoulder before he started the Jeep.

I smirked but said nothing in reply.

Alice was still texting someone and it looked like she was going to break her phone at any moment.

“Dude. Alice. Chill.” I looked at her from my place behind Emmett.

She looked at me but took a deep breath.

^^^^^^^^^

I looked at the glorious house looming up ahead. The cloudy sky made it look slightly melancholy but all the windows contrasted that and made it look happy and open. I smiled before jumping out of the Jeep - that was currently parked in front of the house - and waited for Alice and Emmett.

I looked over to see them talking quietly for a moment. I took that time to look around me at the surroundings.

It was so green here. The ferns up almost to my waist and the moss and lichen hung from the trees. It seemed slightly suffocating.

There was a rustle in the leave a little ways off from where I was looking at and I saw Jasper step out from the trees. He seemed slightly taken back from the sight of me but regained his composer and walked slowly towards me.

I gave a little wave and expected him to say hi but he just walked past me to the Jeep. Jasper walked towards the passenger side where Alice was and opened the door. And he still didn’t say anything to me.

I was a little offended but if that was how he was going to be after I poured some of my darkest memories to him, then fine. I can be just as bad.

I walked towards the house and sat on one of the wooden steps and waited for everyone else.

“Star!!!” I heard someone yell my name and looked for the source.

Rosalie seemed to pop out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around my neck.

Okay…

“Hey!!!” I just countered.

“You look like crap! Let’s go upstairs so I can beautify you.”

“Uh-oh.” I mocked being scared but just laughed.

Rosalie pulled me up the stairs and into an omega-huge bathroom. I gaped at my surroundings before I was pushed into a chair.

“Did you shower this morning?” Rose asked.

I nodded, yes, before laying my head back. My head was throbbing again and I just wanted to crawl into bed.

As Rosalie brushed gently through my hair, I heard her give a deep sigh.

“What?” My voice was quiet.

“Oh, nothing.” She replied just as quietly.

Being that I was the type of person to not push matters, I kept quiet.

Rose’s fingers ran through my hair as she styled it to her wanting. I just sat there and let my mind wander.

I missed my home. I missed my friends. I wish that I could just leave but I couldn’t. I wish that Jasper would talk to me with his soothing voice. I still don’t get why he didn’t say ‘hi.’

To be honest, it kind of hurt. I don’t know what I did to deserve that… Maybe, it was because I asked him to stay…

Ugh! I’m such a dummy!!!

No, he just and ignorant, stupid, and confusing boy!

You again… and by the way, he’s a man…

Don‘t start.

Hey now! You came into this thought process, so you can’t talk like that to me!

Too late; I already did. So, HA!

Oh, shut up!!!

At least I don’t have the biggest crush known to man on someone who is already taken!!!!

First off, SHUT THE HELL UP! Secondly, you do because you’re part of me!! So, HA! I WIN!!

/Well then what are WE going to do about this little problem?

…

“Hey Rose?” I spoke, trying to avoid the question I was mentally asking myself.

“Yeah?”

“Would you be mad at me if I left to go home early?”

All was quiet for a moment, “I would be upset and I know a bunch of other people that would be even worse than me.” She said at last.

“Oh…”

“Have you been hanging out with Emmett?”

“Yeah. He’s awesome. I already love him as a brother.”

“See, he would be really upset if you left.” She paused so I opened my eyes to see her eyes glaring at me. “And you said something about loving him already?”

“Rose; chill. I only love him as a brother. Nothing more.”

She seemed to relax at the sincerity on my voice. Rosalie continued doing whatever to my hair.

“Anyways, I got someone I like at home.” And here…

“What’s his name?”

Here or at home? I almost asked but instead replied, “Seth but he‘s taken. So, really, he‘s just a friend.”

“BUT is he a gorgeous, young man?”

I gave a quick laugh. “No, he’s a cutie and way to immature to be a man. He’s really nice to me, though, and knows some of the stuff I’ve been through but he can be VERY cocky. Kind of like the cheesy kind of cocky.”

Rosalie laughed with me at that. “Examples! Please!”

“When someone comments that it’s hot in a room or something, he’ll say something along the lines of ‘Sorry, do you want me to leave?’ And it’s just dumb stuff like that but it makes me laugh!”

“Wow. I’m so happy that Emmett doesn’t pull stuff like that!”

That’s when I heard a booming laugh come from by the door.

“Wow, it’s hot in here! Maybe I should go!” Emmett’s voice held a slight laugh to it.

I looked over to see Rose next to him hitting his shoulder.

“Ow! Babe!” Emmett whined with a pout.

Rosalie snorted with a roll of her eyes. “Where’s Alice?”

“With Jasper. They went out into the woods. I think they might be doin’ the dirty!” Emmett’s eyes widened like a young child who got scarred for life.

My heart dropped when I heard that. I could feel myself go cold and pale and I just felt sick. My stomach churned.

“Emmett! You are so immature! They wouldn’t do the ‘dirty’ with company here! Especially Alice, you imbecile!” Rose’s voice was harsh and I had a feeling that I knew why.

“Sorry, babe…” Emmett apologized but still seemed oblivious to why she was so furious.

Rosalie took a deep breath but wrapped her arms around his neck. I looked away to give them some privacy.

What Rosalie said really calmed me and I could feel the color coming back but my stomach still churned with unease. It was wrong of me to think of liking Jasper in that way.

I looked over at Rose and Emmett and saw them whispering to each other but I just had to interrupt. “Rose?” My voice sounded small so I cleared my throat in hopes of regaining my ‘footing.’ “I think I might go home.”

She knew what I meant and the color that was in her cheeks looked like it had drained to leave her deathly pale. (But still very beautiful.) I felt really bad for even saying that but I had a deep gut feeling that I was tearing Alice and Jasper apart. Or I was just too infatuated with Jasper, that it was starting to kill my heart. And I wasn’t ready for my heart to get broken this way yet. Just because it was still healing from my experiences with my uncle and it was still bruised from the harshness my mother gave me.

I got up and opened my arms out to Rose. She looked as though she was going to cry. We hugged and Emmett stood by looking slightly lost.

“I’ve only been able to hang out with you for a little while but you’re very easy to like; that’s for sure.” She whispered.

“I probably won’t go right away, just because I have to deal with Jamie. So maybe today you can finish what you started with my hair and what-not and then we could all go shopping. I still have some spare money left.” I smiled, trying to reassure that all would be well.

Rosalie pulled away from me and smiled. “Okay, sit down then.”

^^^^^^^^^^

I. Look. HOT.

“You look hot.” Emmett commented looking at me.

I was wearing tight, white-washed jeans that had a slight flare at the bottom. My curves were accentuated with a simple white tank-top (that definitely showed off some cleavage) and a studded belt that rested crookedly on my hips.

I was also strapped into death shoes…

My hair had been done up with curls and braids. It looked very complicated to do but I liked it and I liked that she left straight bangs in my face.

My make-up looked complex, too. There was a blush on my cheeks that I knew my face had given itself. My eye-shadow, however, consisted of different shades of pink and cream with simple black eyeliner all around each eyes. It was astonishing and I felt like I was going to a millionaire’s party.

“Rose…Thank you for lending me clothes so I didn’t have to wear my pajamas and thank you for making me look like a princess.” I smiled walking up to give her a hug.

“You can have the clothes by the way.” She told me with a smile.

That’s when I froze on my way to the door. I knew these clothes where designer and I knew they were expensive. And because they were expensive and being given to me, I hated them. Only because I hated it when I was given something expensive or someone bought me something expensive. It was different when I was the one buying the expensive product.

But it just made me feel guilty for wasting someone’s money and I felt like I had to repay them.

I looked at Rosalie, “I can’t keep these.”

“Why?” She looked kind of crestfallen.

“Because they’re expensive and I can’t accept them.”

“Too bad!” Rose laughed at me, “You MUST be related to Bella!”

I was confused. Genuinely confused.

“Okay…”

“Bella hates it when the things given to her are expensive.”

I slowly nodded.

“So we are going to go out?” Rose asked.

“Yeah but I need to go to Jamie’s to get my purse.” Just as I said that, I heard the door slam.

I walked out the bedroom door to see who it was. Alice walked up to me and she looked furious but extremely distressed.

“Do you need to go to Jamie’s?” She looked at me expectantly, as if she already knew my answer.

I nodded, unsure if she was mad at me or not.

“Jasper is waiting for you outside on his Harley-Davidson.”

No way. Jasper had a motorcycle. That was really hot AND I absolutely love motorcycles.

But then…uh-oh…

“AH MAN!” my jaw clenched and I stomped my foot in frustration.

“What…?” Now Alice looked confused.

“Can’t Emmett just bring me to Jamie’s?” I pleaded.

“Why?”

“Because… my hair will get ruined.” I thought my excuse was fool proof but that was before Rose said anything…

“I cat take it all down then put it back up when you get back.” She smiled, just as innocent as ever.

“Okay.” I resisted the urge to let a defeated sigh pass my lips.

Rose’s hands were quick and painless when she pulled the pins and clips out. In a matter of moments, I was handed a zip-up hoodie, my skater shoes, and then I was on my way to Jasper. When I saw him waiting on his bike, he didn’t look to happy.

I took a deep breath and walked over. Jasper still didn’t look at me as I swung my leg over to sit on the back.

Finally, after a few moments, Jasper started up the Harley and took off down the dirt road way to fast for my comfort.

In no time, we were speeding down the main road toward Jamie’s. And, throughout the entire time, my arms were wrapped tightly around Jasper’s waist. It was amazing that he was still able to breathe.

I placed my face close to his back as I tried to block the wind. I wasn’t very successful but I sure did catch wind of Jasper. I had no idea what kind of cologne he was wearing but it was definitely mouth watering.

In no time we were at Jamie’s and Jasper was turning off his Harley. I waited until he leaned his bike on it’s kickstand before getting off.

“I’ll be right back…”I whispered, shaking my hair to try and get rid of the current wind-blown style.

“Star, wait.” His sweet voice made me freeze on my way to the front door.

I lowly turned around to see him getting off his bike and walking gracefully towards me. And I just now realized that he was wearing a simple, yet tight to the body, gray t-shirt with light jeans.

“What Jasper?” My voice trembled the slightest from the same anger I had felt earlier in the day towards him.

“Would you ever leave before the month was up?”

The question caught me off guard.

“No.” I lied.

He looked at me before giving a small smile and a chuckle. “Liar.”

“Why do you ask?” I asked trying to put the attention on him.

“Because I just have this feeling that you’re going to leave m-us.” I caught that… “You haven’t even met Edward, Nessie, Jake, or Esme. I just don’t want you to leave without at least meeting them.”

Jasper avoided my eyes after saying that.

“Well then, I guess I can’t leave yet.” I sighed in defeat, “To be honest, it’s really not that bad here. It’s just I’m sick of being around Jamie and someone else.” I didn’t mean to put the extra emphasis on the last two words but I couldn’t help it.

With that all said and done, I whipped around and went inside.

“Hey Star. Back already?” Jamie stood right next to the kitchen doorway.

“No, I’m going out again.” I answered her before walking to my room.

She followed.

“So how are all the Cullens?”

“Wonderful.”

“Are you all getting along well?”

“Yep.”

“How’s Dr. Cullen?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see him. I think he might be out with his wife.”

“Is she nice?”

Okay, seriously? What’s with the twenty questions?

“I think so.” I went over to my bed and grabbed my purse.

“You haven’t met her yet?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve only been to their house once and I’ve only hung out with some of the Cullens.” and Hales.

“Well when do you think you’ll meet her?”

I looked at Jamie full in the eye. “I. Don’t. Know!”

With that, I hurriedly went outside. Jasper had his bike already started and waiting. I swung my leg over the back and held on as he spun out the driveway to the main road.

I hung on tight with my Purse tucked between Jasper and I.

For a moment, I spaced out. I was just in my own little world letting whatever thought or emotion run. And to be honest, I haven’t done that in a long time. Although I was out in my own world, I did catch that we were going a different way than the way to the Cullen household.

“If you’re planning on killing me, you’d better have second thoughts.” I teased quietly with a small laugh.

………………………