Don't Go Away

Jasper’s P.O.V. (Back to before Star came to the house)

Why won’t you see Star?!?!?!?! Alice was becoming quiet angry with me in her texts; I could tell.

Why are you pressing the issue so much? She’s just another girl that’s here in Forks! She won’t even be staying that long, anyways! So, why should I put myself in the situation to become friends with her when she’s just going to leave in a few weeks?! I replied, while walking out to my spot.

I mean, everyone else in the family has their own special “spot” where they go to think and just be alone, so obviously, I am to. I like having my own space so I can just concentrate on what I’m feeling at the moment.

It sounds quite selfish but I never really care. The reason why is because I always feel what everyone else is feeling that at times, I don’t truly feel my own. And, in my opinion, I loose myself each time that happens. So I come out here, near some beautiful streams and falls, just to think and gain what I’ve lost.

My phone went off again.
You stubborn ASS!!! GO fucking see her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY?!

Because you like her!

I was baffled at this. My mouth hung agape in shock and I became oblivious to my surroundings.

No Alice. I love you and only you. Forever and ever.

We’re almost home. See you there. She replied a little while later.

If my heart was still beating and alive, it probably would stop and break. I shut my eyes and rested against a tree, waiting for the throbbing pain to stop. But it didn’t and I knew I had to head back home to talk to Alice.

^^^^^^^

My head was in a fog as I walked through the woods. I felt torn and lost about Alice but the scary part was that I kept seeing Star’s face. I felt a certain longing in the pit of my stomach and it made me nauseated.

I loved Alice and I was absolutely positive about that. She’s my other half; the better half. Alice is my everything…

And I couldn’t bear the thought of her slipping through my fingers.

I swallowed hard before emerging from the woods next to the house. Looking up, I saw Star staring at me. I was shocked at the sight of her beautiful, surprised face but I regained composure and walked towards the Jeep where Alice and Emmett were whispering.

Star waved t me with a welcoming smile on her face but I ignored her. When I walked by, I could feel the hurt and anger starting to radiate from her after the confusion faded.

I did feel bad but right now I did not want to show any friendly motions towards her.

I listened to Star walk away; the emotions still rolling strongly off her. Alice jumped gracefully from the jeep and started walking away. I stood there for a moment, watching my wife, my friend, my life, walk away from me. I followed once she disappeared into the woods.

I concentrated on feeling Alice’s emotions and was nearly crushed when I felt anger, sorrow, and guilt radiating off her. I knew that something was going to be wrong between us.

“Alice.” I whispered her name before I rested my hand on her shoulder.

“Jasper.” She sighed turning to face me.

Love now radiated off her and it comforted me the slightest but I was still worried.

“What’s wrong?”

She gave a weak smile. “I really want you to get to know Star more than you already do. I want you to become her friend. Her BEST friend. Can you please do that for me?”

I looked at her slightly panicked, “Why? What’s going to happen?!”

Alice gently cupped my cheek when my hand fell away from her shoulder. “Nothing. I just really want you to do this for me. I want Star to become part of this family. She WILL become part of this family.” Alice breathed out the last sentence and my muscles became taut.

Longing was strong as it came from Alice. But then everything became worried as Alice’s eyes unfocused and she stared off into nothing.

“What do you see?” I asked slowly putting my hands on both shoulders to keep her steady.

Her mouth moved but nothing came out of it. Alice took a deep breath suddenly before shaking her head. “She wants to leave. She’s GOING to leave.” Alice whispered, becoming panicked.

“Who?”

“Star, you imbecile!” She yelled. “Please, you have to persuade her to stay. At least for the whole month. She has too.” Alice pleaded before rambling on about Star.

“Okay!” I stopped her panicked whispering. “I’ll persuade her. And if I succeed, I want to bring her somewhere.” I gave in, slightly exasperated and unhappy.

Alice smiled, pecked my cheek, and started skipping back to the house.

“Alice, wait!” I watched her freeze and slowly turn around.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” I tried.

Alice said nothing for a moment but after a while, gave a weak smile, and said, “I love you, too.”

She said it. Alice said it back to me but there was one problem. The three words sounded hollow. There was no meaning behind them. There was nothing playful, romantic, or even friendly behind her words. And that fact killed me.

Alice started to turn around but I stopped her. “Why? Why is there no meaning behind your words? …Don’t you love me, anymore?” I sounded like a child; a pathetic child in need of comfort.

Alice chuckle like she had heard some unneeded worry from a toddler. It made my start to fume at how she was so nonchalant about this.

“Jasper, of course I love you. I always will.” More hallow words.

“Don’t lie to me.” I pleaded.

Now Alice was started to get mad and frustrated but I could still feel the underlying distress and guilt.

“Jasper. I. Am. Not. Lying. To. You!”

I decided to let it go at the moment. There was always another time and another place for this to continue. I just decide to let Alice win.

“Okay. I believe you.” I gave a strained smile and tried to look relieved.

She seemed content with that answer and hurriedly left but called over her shoulder, “You’re giving a ride to Star with your Harley.”

I just simply nodded before heading to the garage.

^^^^^^^

I saw Star walk towards me in my peripheral vision. I could feel the anger mixed with excitement ripple off her. The anger wasn’t as strong as when we first encountered earlier in the day.

But still she was beautiful as she walked over; her hips swinging just enough to show them off. I could the wind as she swung her leg over the back. And I sat there for a moment, savoring the heat I could feel coming off her through her clothes.

At last, I brought my bike to life and sped to Jamie’s way faster than I should.

^^^^^^^

I loved the feel of Star’s arms around me and her body pressed to my back. A few times I got lost in my own mind and simple bliss just because of this, but I always brought myself back with thoughts of the argument Alice and I had.

I drove into Jamie’s driveway and shut my bike off. Star didn’t move until I had it resting on the kickstand.

“I’ll be right back…” Star whispered, shaking her hair giving making her scent seem all the stronger.

“Star, wait.” I had to do this now…

She turned around as I slowly got off my bike. I could feel anger coming off her like strong ocean waves and I didn’t understand. “What Jasper?” Her voice trembled from the anger.

“Would you ever leave before the month was up?”

All anger evaporated from her like mist in the sun, and was replaced with slight shock. She recovered quickly before lying to me, “No.”

I knew she was lying but I acted like I was studying her before giving a small smile and a chuckle. “Liar.”

“Why do you ask?” Star asked quickly.

“Because I just have this feeling that you’re going to leave m-us.” I caught myself but from the look on Star‘s face, she did too. “You haven’t even met Edward, Nessie, Jake, or Esme. I just don’t want you to leave without at least meeting them.” I wouldn’t look at Star in the eye because of humiliation.

“Well then, I guess I can’t leave yet.” She sighed heavily, “To be honest, it’s really not that bad here. It’s just I’m sick of being around Jamie and someone else.” I noticed the extra emphasis but I couldn’t place who it was directed towards.

Star whipped around - whipping her hair in my direction, making her sweet smell even more mouth-watering - to head inside.

I listened to Jamie pester Star while I waited. I could feel Star getting frustrated at her mom’s persistence.

I laughed before getting my bike all ready to leave.

Star came out in a huff quickly and swung her leg over the seat. I savored the way her arms wound their way around my stomach. I smiled, driving out of the driveway, heading to ‘my spot.’

Star seemed to notice that we weren’t heading to the house after a while.

“If you’re planning on killing me, you’d better have second thoughts.” She whispered and I froze for a split second before I heard her quick laugh.

Momentary happiness and excitement came off her so strongly that I started to become more happy and carefree about what I was going to do.