I'll Fix You Because You Fixed Me Too

*Gerard’s POV*

I honestly can’t believe I’m doing this. All that hard work, all of everyone’s sacrifices and effort to help me, all those years of keeping clean and sober!

Yet here I am, sitting in some grimy bar, staring into a glass of JD and coke, battling with myself whether or not to drink it.

So far I have more pros then con’s.

Charlie fell in love with me when I was an alcoholic junkie, I never seemed to have so many troubles back then, and life seemed easier, I was happier, everything wasn’t so stressful.

But now?

Charlie and I are falling apart, I’m very rarely happy, and life seems so fucking hard!

This drink, it could be the make or break of me, well, in a certain sense.

If you think about it logically, it will be the total break of me.

If I drink this I’ll have screwed everything up.

But it could win me back Charlie?

I don’t know! God I’m so confused!

I just want life to be easy again, what I wouldn’t give just to have my old life back.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the way we help kids with our music, I don’t mean I want that part of my life gone, I mean I want the part before Charlie was taken back.

We were so happy back then, nothing could wreck us. Well, that’s what we thought anyway.

We thought no one could touch us, not while we had each other.

How wrong we were huh? We’re so broken now it’s scary.

I was quickly torn from my thoughts by a hand being placed on my shoulder.

“You ok son? You look like you have the weight of the whole world on you’re shoulders.” The bartender chuckled slightly as he removed his hand.

Haven’t I seen this somewhere before? Oh yeah, every fucking cheesy movie ever made, some bum comes and drowns his sorrows in a bottle while spilling his guts to the bartender.

How very cliché.

I smiled at him politely before telling him “I was fine really, just thinking is all.”

He shrugged before moving on to serve some other guy and I went back to contemplating my fate.

I slowly raised the glass to my lips before moving it almost half way back down.

I don’t want to drink it all that will only cause more problems.

Just one sip….. Maybe just one glass?

It won’t hurt to just have a little bit….