Billie Joe's Third Son

Is there anything I can do to change your mind?

The clock showed early. I found myself on my own staircase, in front of my own house, another rainy day in Berkeley California. The rain pored down like all the thousand tears the world had cried. It felt weird being home again, ‘cause something was changed. I now knew I had no chance or purpose in this life. I slowly lifted my hand to the door knob, as if it was the last time I'd open this door. My suitcase felt heavier than it was when I left. And I felt old. Older than my years.

I opened the door to find a tired Adrienne looking at me. She didn't look at me with love, neither anger. It was a different expression, an expression Adrienne Ilene Armstrong hadn't looked at me with for a long time.

Regret.

"Where is he?" her tired voice asked. Her hands had a tight grip on a cup of coffee. She looked worse than I'd seen her before, but her beauty could still be seen all over her.

Finding myself slightly confused, I asked the most stupid question anyone could ask their wife when you already knew what she was speaking of. Or who.

"Where is who?"

Adrienne shook her head, and vanished into the kitchen. I swallowed a lump. How did she know about Billie? I decided to drop my suitcase on the floor, and follow her. This needed to be sorted out.

I found her in the kitchen making another cup of coffee. She didn't seem to notice me at once, but when she did she stopped.

"Adie, talk to me. Please." She turned around to look at me. It was now obvious that my wife had cried many tears. I thought she was going to yell at me, asking me why I didn't tell her all those years ago. But instead of beat me up with words, she came over to me. She threw her arms around my neck.

"We could have found him. We could have brought him here, you and I," she said. I found myself almost crying again, but choked the tears. I sneaked my arms around her waist, as she rested her head on my shoulder. The natural smell of her hit my nose. How I loved that smell. Those dreads. This woman.

Neither of us said anything for a long while, just stood there, close. Like nothing could divide us. I closed my eyes. She suddenly let go of me, and went back to making the coffee. I now understood she was making it for me.

I walked to the couch and dropped myself on it. Never had this house seemed so grey. Never had the rain pored down like now. Adrienne came out of the kitchen, and placed herself beside me. She handed me the cup, and I gladly accepted it.

"You didn't find him, did you?" Adrienne broke the silence. I couldn't reply, just shook my head. She laid one of her small hands on my shoulder, and it felt comforting. She sighed.

"Tell me about him. Tell me about Billie Joe."

I took another sip of my coffee, before leaving it on the table. I smiled thinking of my first son, which would be fifteen by now. I wondered what he was like, if he was doing fine, what he looked like.

"He was my second love. After Blue, the guitar." Adie laughed. It was good to see her laugh.

"It's just hard to explain, but thinking of my young years back then I enjoyed every minute I had with him. Every time he woke me up at night, every tear he cried. Every smile he smiled, every time he didn't want to eat his porridge properly. He gave me so much, and I let her take him away. I should have done something. I should have.." I interrupted myself. I didn't really want to speak about Billie, but I knew Adrienne had to know about him.

"It's okay honey, it's okay," she said and kissed my cheek. I turned my head to look at her, straight in her eyes. They were such a beautiful colour of chocolate brown. I could see on her eyes that she wanted to know what happened. I turned around again, to look out of the window on the rain that so silenty hit the ground.

"His mother. His mother took him to Scotland, 'cause she got engaged to this dude. After that I thought about him none stop. I never thought I'd feel whole again," I said and looked at her. "That's until I met you."

Adie smiled.

"Do you want us to try and find him?" she asked, and started playing with my hair. I thought of it for a second, and took the hardest decision yet in my life, but a necessary one.

"No. Mike said something to me back then which made a lot of sense. I have to think of what is now, not what was then. I can't afford that. I must stop digging up the past, Adie. You, Joseph and Jakob is my presence. Billie is only a part of my past. A past that has faded away, long time ago."

*

I slowly opened me eyes. The room was slightly grey. Not knowing where I was, I sat up. The couch I had been sleeping on was brown, and beaten up. I felt like shit, and felt like I needed drugs. I was just about to open the box and vacate every last pill down my throat, but someone stopped me.

"I wouldn't be doing that if I were you," a male voice said. I turned around to see Danny standing on the staircase, in a pair of boxers and a Clash t-shirt. I could now see him properly. He had blonde, long hair, past his shoulders. He also had beautiful, blue eyes. Kinda like Michael's. The very ice blue colour.

I put down the box, and a smile appeared on his face.

"I'll be in the kitchen, making coffee. Want some?"

"Sure," I replied. It reminded me of how much I hated coffee, but I really felt like having a cup. It'd do me good. I yawned and stretched both of me arms. I then felt how badly my back hurt after sleeping on that couch.

Danny came out from the kitchen, and handed me a blue cup with a kitty on it.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Don't mention it," he said and smiled. He reminded me a little of Jay, always smiling and laughing, having something to be glad about.

"You feeling any better?" he asked after a while. He was now sitting beside me on the couch. I shook my head.

"I have a pretty heavy headache plus my back hurts like hell," I replied. He laughed.

"What? It's not as if it's funny."

"No, it's not that. It's just so funny listening to your dialect."

"Go to hell," I sarcastically said and smiled.

"Well, we better be getting you home soon. Your parents will probably be out of their mi.."

"For the tenth time, or something close, Glen is not my Dad."

"'Kay, chill dude," he replied, still smiling.

"You're actually right," I said. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Just down the hall. You can't miss it."

"Appreciate it," I said and got up, leaving him with both of our coffies. Walking down the stairs wasn't easy, seeing as though my legs felt heavier than ever before. I tried to ignore it, but as usual it didn't work.

The first thing I did was taking a look at myself. The mirror reflected my tired eyes, eyeliner who was washed all over my face, and my clothes that were sweat, right back at me. I opened the bathroom door.

"Hey Danny, you have any eyeliner?" I shouted.

"Noop," he replied.

I nodded, even though he would not be able to see it. I'd just have to make do without the eyeliner.

*

Regina's POV

I hadn't slept all night. I felt sick, tired and old. Not only had Joey vanished in to thin air, but all this business with Glen also made spins run down my spine. I loved him with all my heart, but knew as well the others that I couldn't be with him now that he had admitted to abuse my son for his sick fantasies. I was so close to marry him. So close.

I heard light steps down the stairs.

"Hi Mum," Antonia's voice said. She sounded tired, me not wondering why. She had been totally heart broken when Michael had told her about their father.

"Isn't Joey back yet?" I shook my head. I heard her walk into the kitchen, then opening the fridge. I missed Joey already, even though I never used to. I could hardly blame him for his behaviour anymore, his urge to find his father, even his misuse on ecstasy could now be excused. I needed to find him, to let him know that we were all here for him. I then heard the door open.

"Thanks for everything," Joey's voice said in the door.

"Don't mention it," another voice said, a male voice. I heard Joey slam the door. At once when I saw him, his tired, green eyes, his red, spiky hair, his black beaten up clothes, I cried.

"Where the hell have you been?" I half shouted. He didn't look at me, just mumbled something about a lot of distractions, and headed upstairs. I decided to follow him this once, to the bathroom. He luckily didn't lock the door, didn't even bother to close it. He was searching my bag for my eyeliner. Normally I wouldn't of let him use it, but this once was different. Infact, everything was different. I almost admired the way he applied the eyeliner on. When he was done, he noticed me at the door.

"You shouldn't have waited for me. I have told you, I can manage on my own," my fifteen year old son said. He always knew. Always knew if I'd been up waiting waiting for him or not.

"Where were you?" He didn't look like he wanted to answer my question.

"Joey, please.." He suddenly looked at me with angry eyes.

"Alright Mum. Here's the story. You went to that fuck'n café, and left me with that horrible monster fianceé of yours namely Glen, then things happened that made me wanna leave, so I did when you came home, because I needed more ecstasy, and since I ran empty not too long ago, I found myself walking down some Gilman Street. I then met a guy with contacts, he took me to his place, gave me the drugs, I told him I'd pay him back later. I then tried to find some place to get stoned, and I did pretty far away from here on some random café on the toilet. I then took ten pills, felt dizzy, and ill, then this guy came and asked me if I wanted something that would made me feel better, I approved, and he gave me a syringe of speed. I then blacked out, and when I woke up I was in Laytonville in this guy, Danny's house. The power was gone, so he couldn't drive me home seeing as though it was quite dark outside, with no lights. He then drove me here now, and here I am. Happy?"

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to hold him, like I used to when he was a child, and knew nothing of pain, drugs, or walking off.

"Does it look like I'm happy?" I yelled. "You had your little brother telling me all about you and Glen yesterday, now he's in prison, and it's all because of you! You could have accepted that he was your new father, and that he was the only father you'd ever get. So stop looking for your Dad, 'cause you won't find him, and he doesn't want you, nobody does! Just go! Go anywhere! See if I care!" I hurt myself more than it could hurt Joey hearing this, but I had to get it off my chest. I didn't look at him one last time, just ran. I couldn't stand it there with him anymore. I then found myself crying on mine and Glen's bed.

Mine and Glen's. Our.

I missed Glen so badly, and decided I had to speak with him. I got up, and walked back to the bathroom. Joey was not in there anymore, to my happiness. I couldn't face him now. Of course it wasn't his fault Glen was gone, what was I thinking? But I still loved Glen and needed someone to blame.

I got dressed, all washed up and ready to go. I then went to Amanda's room. She was still sleeping.

"Amanda," I shouted so she would wake up, and she luckily did.

"I need to see Glen, watch the kids and make sure Joey doesn't leave the house," I said. She nodded.

"So he's back?" I sighed. She already knew the answer. She slowly got up, and nodded towards the door.

"Say hello from me to my brother."

*

Joey's POV

I found myself sitting in Amanda's garden. I looked over to the neighbours house, thinking of the woman that'd borrowed sugar from me, many days ago. It all seemed so long ago. Now Glen was in prison, and Mum blamed me. Of course she was right, I didn't see Glen as my father straight away. Because I needed time. I'd lost my second father at the age of eleven, what did she expect? I hated her. Hated her and my life.

My clothes were now soaking wet. I decided I had to go, but I didn't know where. Or may be I just had to get real. I searched my pockets for the ecstasies, and found them quick. I took up one little pill from the backage. The smily face smiled at me. I looked back on it with questions in my eyes.

If I dig it under the earth, will I be able to grow an ecstasy tree?

The thought almost made me laugh, but I swallowed the laughter. This was no time for laughing.

It was a time for waiting, but there was also time for action..