Billie Joe's Third Son
Part six
1987
"Mike," I said. I knew it was late, but I couldn't sleep, and I had to speak to someone.
"What Bill?" Mike replied, in a tired voice.
"I need to speak with someone.." Mike glanced at his watch.
"And this someone had to be me, right?"
"Please?"
"No Bill. Go back to sleep. We'll speak in the morning." I nodded and went back to my room, trying to get some sleep.
*
The clock showed 3AM, and I still couldn't sleep, thinking of what Regina'd told me some hours ago. I smiled to myself.
"You're gonna be someone's old man, Bill," I said to myself. I started thinking. Maybe she'd have a girl. She'd have long, blonde hair, just like her, with blue eyes. No one would ever guess I was the father. I smiled to myself, again. No one would ever know I was about to have a child. I decided speaking to Mike wasn't the way out. Ignoring Regina was.
*
"Good morning sweetheart," mum said, and kissed my cheek. Mike was already up. "Look boys, I'm going to work earlier than I use to, will you drag Billie Joe with you to school, Mike?"
"Sure thing," Mike replied, not looking up from the food he ate. When mum left, he looked up, right in me eyes.
"Something's going on, isn't it?" he asked. I looked down on my un touched breakfast.
"Nope," I replied, still not looking up.
"C'mon, why else would ya enter my room late at night, wanting to talk?"
"I couldn't sleep, that's all."
"Well Billie Joe, I know you. And I know you're lying, but I won't push ya. You can tell me whenever ya want," He started eaiting again.
"Even in the middle of the night?" I sarcasticly said, and laughed. Mike smiled.
*
"Well, Mr. Armstrong, would you like to write that on the blackboard, please?" Mrs. Franson said, the nightmare of all English classes.
"Huh?" I replied. As usual, I didn't pay any attention, so I had no idea what she was talking about.
"Mr. Armstrong, if you'd payed attention.."
"Mrs. Franson," another teacher said, as he knocked the door. "Can I borrow Mr. Armstrong for a second?" She nodded. I got up.
"What have I done now?" I asked him, when we were outside class.
"Nothing, but Ms. Pedersen would like a word with you. She told me to go fetch you."
"What the f.." I said, not finishing. Saying the 'f' word would probably mean more trouble than I already had, so I interrupted myself, saying "You mean, the school nurse?"
"Yes. Just go to her office, if I remember right, I've seen you walk through that door many times, so you should know where to go." I nodded.
"Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do, so just do as I tell you for once. It seemed urgent." I nodded again, as he left me alone with my thoughts. Why would Regina want to see me? Ah. The baby. I started walking down the hall, towards her office. It seemed like.. Like we had a relationship, or something. I mean, we just had a fling right? And suddenly she wanted me to play happy families with her and her unborn child. Not mine. Hers. Thinking all of this, made my way to her office a lot faster than I expected. I caught my breath, and knocked the door.
"Please come in," I heard her say. I opened the door, and slowly entered the room. The moment we shared seemed to last forever.
"Sit down, Billie," she said after a long break. I did as she said.
"Before you say anything.. I want you to know I'm sorry if I scared you yesterday. I mean, of course it's scary, you're only fifteen," She paused, but I could tell she wasn't done. "You see, my daughter's dad, he.. Ran out on us."
"So, where is she then?" I said, interrupting her.
"She lives in Norway with my parents at the moment," she replied. I nodded.
"What I mean to say is that.. Well, I understand if you run out on me as well."
"Sounds like you prefer it that way." I started to play with my hair. Why was I being nervous? She was the one who should be nervous. Nervous for me to run out on her.
"I don't prefer it. I expect it," she replied. I nodded again.
"Well?" she said.
"Well what?" I replied. She was, once again, confusing me.
"Do you want it or not?" Those words hit me hard as a rock. I opened my mouth to say 'no,' but I couldn't speak. I looked at her. Then at her stomach. It'd grown a little, could hardly notice it. 'Are you in there?' I thought, still looking at her stomach. 'Daddy,' it answered. I shook the thought away. I was probably hallucinating, but something told me to say 'yes.'
"Yeah.. Of course I want it," I replied, still looking at her stomach.
"Thank you," she whispered.
*
Some days later, mum was cleaning the house. She always did that while being angry. I was standing in the doorway, watching her.
"What's up ma?" I asked her.
"You tell me, Billie," she replied in an angry tone, continuing her work. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah? And what have I done?" I replied, starting to get angry myself. She stopped cleaning, and looked at me.
"Nothing. That's what you've been doing. Now, why don't you help me here instead of sitting upstairs writing songs all day long?" I shook my head.
"You can ask Brad to help you. Sure he'll be glad to."
"That's enough," she yelled, then slapped me. Then she started shouting at me, things I didn't hear. It was like I wasn't with her. I suddenly threw my arms around her neck.
"Don't be mad!" I screamed. She stopped yelling.
"Don't be mad.." I said once again, not as loud as I did the first time.
"What's up with you Billie Joe? You've been acting strange the last few weeks."
"Help me," I said, not answering her question.
"With what?" Her voice was softening up.
"Help me 'cause I'm going to be a dad."
*
Mum'd spoken to Regina. When I first had told her, I'd ran out in the livingroom, while she went mad in the kitchen, throwing dishes, glasses, knives, you name it, around herself while screaming.
"Do not panic Billie," she'd said when she was done going insane, and hugged me tight. Now she'd spoken to her. Regina. She first thought I'd slept with some thirteen year old, making her pregnant. Now, she was speaking with my siblings and stepfather downstairs. I didn't wanna hear. I didn't wanna hear Brad go more insane than he already was, I didn't wanna hear how shocked David, Anna, Allan and the rest of them got, so I sat in my room alone, in the darkest corner of my bed. I didn't wanna write, I didn't wanna play Blue, I didn't want anything. Right there and then, I wanted to lay down and die on the spot.
"Are you okey, Bill?" a voice said from the door. I looked up, and saw David. He sat down on my bed.
"Babies are a big responsibility, ya know. Think you can handle it?" I didn't answer. I didn't even want to talk.
"You want me to get Mike?" I shook mye head.
"Just leave me alone for a while," I whispered. He nodded, and left the spot. Mike. Mike would probably go mad, too. Just like mum. He'd probably set fire on the house, and drown himself in the ocean. Wait, who was he to talk? It was his stupid bet in the first place. His, John's and Will's. John and Will. Did they know? Had Mike told them already? All I knew was that I didn't know. On the top of it all, I'd blown my only chance to save myself. I'd told Regina I wanted our kid. Our. The word "our" made a shiver run down my spine. I rested my head on my knees. I really knew how to fuck up big time.
*
2003
"Joey!" Glen shouted. "Joey! Get down here!" he shouted again, when I didn't bother to reply.
"Then I'm coming up," he said. I heard his steps enter the staircase. I quickly hid the picture of me and my dad. That's what I'd been doing yeah. I'd searched through every possible webiste on the internet, since me and Toni'd found the picture, just to find someone who looked like him. I had one more lead than just the picture. I knew now he lived in California.
"Joey, what are you doing?" Glen said, as he entered the room.
"Uh.. Nothing," I replied.
"Then why didn't you reply when I called you?"
"I was busy."
"Doing what?"
"Just.. Stuff," I replied, pointing a finger to the computer.
"Hm, well," he said. "Phone for ya." He handed me the phone.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hello," I heard Tom's voice reply. I waved my hand at Glen, telling him what to do. He rolled his eyes, then left the spot.
"'Sup?" I said, as I brought up the photo, starting the search once again.
"I need to.. I need to speak to you, face to face, if you're not too busy." he replied
"Right, just.."
"No, come to me instead, he said, knowing what I was about to say. "I guess your place is full of people." I laughed.
"Right. I'll be there in about.. Twenty minutes or so." I replied. I could almost see him nod.
"See ya then," He hung up. Something serious was out going, I could feel it. Tom didn't want to speak with me face to face without a reason. I picked up my coat, and headed for the stairs.
"Where are you going?" mum said, as I came down.
"Tom's place," I said, tieing my shoes.
"Well, me and the twins are gonna visit Glen's parents tonight, but Glen'll stay behind 'cause of his disease." I giggled. Glen sure had some sort of disease.
"Right," I replied. "Bye!"
*
About a quarter later, I was outside Tom's house. I felt like going back home, but that meant I'd be alone with Glen, but something just stopped me from knocking.
"You coming?" Tom'd seen me.
"Yeah.." I replied, thinking hard.
*
"Sit down, Joe," Tom said when we entered the livingroom. I did as he told me.
"The reason I called you down here, is because I've got some good and some bad news." I didn't reply. I started to play with my hair again. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear, which always made me nervous.
"I got that job I wanted, remember? That zoo job?" Yes, he was working, he was three years older than me.
"Uh.. No," I replied, as I grew more and more nervous.
"Well, aren't you happy for me?" he replied.
"Yes. Yes, of course I am," I said. I tried to smile. I really did. But something stopped me.
"Well, that's the good news," he said and smiled. "But then there's the bad news." His smile disappeared from his face. "The zoo is on New Zealand." My stomach turned. I felt old food making their way up to my throat, as I threw up. Threw up over Tom's new painted floor.
"Oh my God, I'm.. I'm so sorry," I said, shaking. Yes it happened. It happened I was so nervous that I actually threw up.
"It's okay, Joe, just sit tight, I'll clean that up."
"No, no, let me," I replied, but he'd already gone to fetch mop and water. I sat back down on the sofa, and started thinking. But if Tom was going to New Zealand..
"Here," he said. "Move your legs." I did what he said. He finished mopping, and sat down again.
"Where was I?"
"You were going to New Zealand.." I replied. I didn't finish. I knew what was coming, and I sure as hell didn't like it.
"You know what that means right?" he said, trying to have eye contact with me, but I couldn't look at him. Not now. Instead, I looked at my pants. They were black. Black, and beaten.
"Joey?" I didn't reply.
"Billie?" I still didn't reply.
"Billie J.."
"Would you just fuck off! Please..?" I replied, cutting him off. He didn't reply.
"I was hoping that.. We could still be pals?" he said instead. I nodded.
"Yeah, sure. Look, if you don't mind, I.. I mean, we, me mum and the twins, we are going to visit Glen's parents tonight, so I have to go," I said, standing up. He knew I was lying, but I didn't care right there and then. I threw on my shoes, and was about to leave, before Tom stopped me.
"Joey.."
"Don't touch me, okey? I'm in a hurry," I replied, and ran out the door. I ran, and ran, leaving Tom alone in his house. How could he do that to me? He knew I needed him. He knew about Glen. And he just left me alone. I hated him. Hated! I finally stood in front of the door at home. Not wanting to go in there, being alone with Glen, I forced my feet to step in, and I forced my hand to shut the door after me. Glen was sitting in the sofa, watching TV.
"Hi babe," he said without looking at me. I looked at him in disgust, un tieing my shoes.
"What's wrong kiddo?" he said, looking at my face which was swollen up with tears. "You wanna.. Talk about it?" he spoke again, looking up and down my body.
"Do me a favor Glen. Fuck off," I replied. He laughed. I knew he'd follow me upstairs sooner or later, but right there and then I didn't give a damn. I entered my room. I needed it. I needed the ecstasy pills.
"Where are you beauties?" I said. I looked in my closet. Not there. I looked under the desk. Not there. Ah. The bed, I remembered. I tripped over a knife, a fork and a plate. "Ouch!" I half screamed. I must've forgotten to go tidy up, after eating dinner. I always ate dinner up in my room, by myself. I made my way to the bed, where the bag of pills luckily was. I sat down on my bed, swallowing pill after pill. Thinking of Glen and.. And Tom. It made me sad. And angry, infact. After many pills, I threw the bag under the bed again, as I cursed both of them names. I stopped, as I heard Glen's steps closer and closer to my door. I looked down, as he entered the room.
"D'ya need some sharing up, Joey?" he said, me not replying. He laughed.
"I knew you did."
"I'm not in the mood Glen," I replied. As if I ever were.
"Do not decline me like that," he said, starting to unzip his pants. I finally looked up to him. He looked at me, and jumped back a bit. He must've seen the anger in my eyes.
"I said, I'm not in the mood," I spoke again. He seemed to relax again.
"Aww, don't speak to me like that," he said, then laughed again. He stepped forward.
"Take one more step.." I said, not finishing.
"And, what?" Glen said, then laughed again. "You'll tell Regina? God, she won't even believe you." He looked shocked, as I gave him an evil grin.
"So what's stopping you then? Come on. Shag me. Shag me, and let her hear you," He grinned, and stepped foreward again, but then I stood up.
"What did I say? Hah? What did I tell you Glen?" I yelled. He looked confused. And.. Scared?
"You told me to.."
"No!" I shouted. "No! I told you not to take another step." He gave me another look, a confused one.
"Get out!"
"How dare you speak to me like that?!" he yelled back, trying to force me down. I quickly looked around my room. I picked up the knife I'd left from dinner, and pointed it against him.
"I said get out!" I yelled. "Get out or I'll kill you I swear it!"
"Joey.. I only meant to.."
"Comfort me?" I laughed. "You can't even comfort yourself. You're so scared of I-don't-know-what that you take it out on an innocent eleven year old, now get out!" I screamed again.
"O..Okay!" he screamed and ran out. I smiled, then heard the knife fall on the floor beside my feet. I'd seen it in his eyes. Fear. Fear for what I might do to him if he didn't listen to what I said. I smiled again. For once, one thing was certain.
Glen was hurting me no more.
"Mike," I said. I knew it was late, but I couldn't sleep, and I had to speak to someone.
"What Bill?" Mike replied, in a tired voice.
"I need to speak with someone.." Mike glanced at his watch.
"And this someone had to be me, right?"
"Please?"
"No Bill. Go back to sleep. We'll speak in the morning." I nodded and went back to my room, trying to get some sleep.
*
The clock showed 3AM, and I still couldn't sleep, thinking of what Regina'd told me some hours ago. I smiled to myself.
"You're gonna be someone's old man, Bill," I said to myself. I started thinking. Maybe she'd have a girl. She'd have long, blonde hair, just like her, with blue eyes. No one would ever guess I was the father. I smiled to myself, again. No one would ever know I was about to have a child. I decided speaking to Mike wasn't the way out. Ignoring Regina was.
*
"Good morning sweetheart," mum said, and kissed my cheek. Mike was already up. "Look boys, I'm going to work earlier than I use to, will you drag Billie Joe with you to school, Mike?"
"Sure thing," Mike replied, not looking up from the food he ate. When mum left, he looked up, right in me eyes.
"Something's going on, isn't it?" he asked. I looked down on my un touched breakfast.
"Nope," I replied, still not looking up.
"C'mon, why else would ya enter my room late at night, wanting to talk?"
"I couldn't sleep, that's all."
"Well Billie Joe, I know you. And I know you're lying, but I won't push ya. You can tell me whenever ya want," He started eaiting again.
"Even in the middle of the night?" I sarcasticly said, and laughed. Mike smiled.
*
"Well, Mr. Armstrong, would you like to write that on the blackboard, please?" Mrs. Franson said, the nightmare of all English classes.
"Huh?" I replied. As usual, I didn't pay any attention, so I had no idea what she was talking about.
"Mr. Armstrong, if you'd payed attention.."
"Mrs. Franson," another teacher said, as he knocked the door. "Can I borrow Mr. Armstrong for a second?" She nodded. I got up.
"What have I done now?" I asked him, when we were outside class.
"Nothing, but Ms. Pedersen would like a word with you. She told me to go fetch you."
"What the f.." I said, not finishing. Saying the 'f' word would probably mean more trouble than I already had, so I interrupted myself, saying "You mean, the school nurse?"
"Yes. Just go to her office, if I remember right, I've seen you walk through that door many times, so you should know where to go." I nodded.
"Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do, so just do as I tell you for once. It seemed urgent." I nodded again, as he left me alone with my thoughts. Why would Regina want to see me? Ah. The baby. I started walking down the hall, towards her office. It seemed like.. Like we had a relationship, or something. I mean, we just had a fling right? And suddenly she wanted me to play happy families with her and her unborn child. Not mine. Hers. Thinking all of this, made my way to her office a lot faster than I expected. I caught my breath, and knocked the door.
"Please come in," I heard her say. I opened the door, and slowly entered the room. The moment we shared seemed to last forever.
"Sit down, Billie," she said after a long break. I did as she said.
"Before you say anything.. I want you to know I'm sorry if I scared you yesterday. I mean, of course it's scary, you're only fifteen," She paused, but I could tell she wasn't done. "You see, my daughter's dad, he.. Ran out on us."
"So, where is she then?" I said, interrupting her.
"She lives in Norway with my parents at the moment," she replied. I nodded.
"What I mean to say is that.. Well, I understand if you run out on me as well."
"Sounds like you prefer it that way." I started to play with my hair. Why was I being nervous? She was the one who should be nervous. Nervous for me to run out on her.
"I don't prefer it. I expect it," she replied. I nodded again.
"Well?" she said.
"Well what?" I replied. She was, once again, confusing me.
"Do you want it or not?" Those words hit me hard as a rock. I opened my mouth to say 'no,' but I couldn't speak. I looked at her. Then at her stomach. It'd grown a little, could hardly notice it. 'Are you in there?' I thought, still looking at her stomach. 'Daddy,' it answered. I shook the thought away. I was probably hallucinating, but something told me to say 'yes.'
"Yeah.. Of course I want it," I replied, still looking at her stomach.
"Thank you," she whispered.
*
Some days later, mum was cleaning the house. She always did that while being angry. I was standing in the doorway, watching her.
"What's up ma?" I asked her.
"You tell me, Billie," she replied in an angry tone, continuing her work. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah? And what have I done?" I replied, starting to get angry myself. She stopped cleaning, and looked at me.
"Nothing. That's what you've been doing. Now, why don't you help me here instead of sitting upstairs writing songs all day long?" I shook my head.
"You can ask Brad to help you. Sure he'll be glad to."
"That's enough," she yelled, then slapped me. Then she started shouting at me, things I didn't hear. It was like I wasn't with her. I suddenly threw my arms around her neck.
"Don't be mad!" I screamed. She stopped yelling.
"Don't be mad.." I said once again, not as loud as I did the first time.
"What's up with you Billie Joe? You've been acting strange the last few weeks."
"Help me," I said, not answering her question.
"With what?" Her voice was softening up.
"Help me 'cause I'm going to be a dad."
*
Mum'd spoken to Regina. When I first had told her, I'd ran out in the livingroom, while she went mad in the kitchen, throwing dishes, glasses, knives, you name it, around herself while screaming.
"Do not panic Billie," she'd said when she was done going insane, and hugged me tight. Now she'd spoken to her. Regina. She first thought I'd slept with some thirteen year old, making her pregnant. Now, she was speaking with my siblings and stepfather downstairs. I didn't wanna hear. I didn't wanna hear Brad go more insane than he already was, I didn't wanna hear how shocked David, Anna, Allan and the rest of them got, so I sat in my room alone, in the darkest corner of my bed. I didn't wanna write, I didn't wanna play Blue, I didn't want anything. Right there and then, I wanted to lay down and die on the spot.
"Are you okey, Bill?" a voice said from the door. I looked up, and saw David. He sat down on my bed.
"Babies are a big responsibility, ya know. Think you can handle it?" I didn't answer. I didn't even want to talk.
"You want me to get Mike?" I shook mye head.
"Just leave me alone for a while," I whispered. He nodded, and left the spot. Mike. Mike would probably go mad, too. Just like mum. He'd probably set fire on the house, and drown himself in the ocean. Wait, who was he to talk? It was his stupid bet in the first place. His, John's and Will's. John and Will. Did they know? Had Mike told them already? All I knew was that I didn't know. On the top of it all, I'd blown my only chance to save myself. I'd told Regina I wanted our kid. Our. The word "our" made a shiver run down my spine. I rested my head on my knees. I really knew how to fuck up big time.
*
2003
"Joey!" Glen shouted. "Joey! Get down here!" he shouted again, when I didn't bother to reply.
"Then I'm coming up," he said. I heard his steps enter the staircase. I quickly hid the picture of me and my dad. That's what I'd been doing yeah. I'd searched through every possible webiste on the internet, since me and Toni'd found the picture, just to find someone who looked like him. I had one more lead than just the picture. I knew now he lived in California.
"Joey, what are you doing?" Glen said, as he entered the room.
"Uh.. Nothing," I replied.
"Then why didn't you reply when I called you?"
"I was busy."
"Doing what?"
"Just.. Stuff," I replied, pointing a finger to the computer.
"Hm, well," he said. "Phone for ya." He handed me the phone.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hello," I heard Tom's voice reply. I waved my hand at Glen, telling him what to do. He rolled his eyes, then left the spot.
"'Sup?" I said, as I brought up the photo, starting the search once again.
"I need to.. I need to speak to you, face to face, if you're not too busy." he replied
"Right, just.."
"No, come to me instead, he said, knowing what I was about to say. "I guess your place is full of people." I laughed.
"Right. I'll be there in about.. Twenty minutes or so." I replied. I could almost see him nod.
"See ya then," He hung up. Something serious was out going, I could feel it. Tom didn't want to speak with me face to face without a reason. I picked up my coat, and headed for the stairs.
"Where are you going?" mum said, as I came down.
"Tom's place," I said, tieing my shoes.
"Well, me and the twins are gonna visit Glen's parents tonight, but Glen'll stay behind 'cause of his disease." I giggled. Glen sure had some sort of disease.
"Right," I replied. "Bye!"
*
About a quarter later, I was outside Tom's house. I felt like going back home, but that meant I'd be alone with Glen, but something just stopped me from knocking.
"You coming?" Tom'd seen me.
"Yeah.." I replied, thinking hard.
*
"Sit down, Joe," Tom said when we entered the livingroom. I did as he told me.
"The reason I called you down here, is because I've got some good and some bad news." I didn't reply. I started to play with my hair again. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear, which always made me nervous.
"I got that job I wanted, remember? That zoo job?" Yes, he was working, he was three years older than me.
"Uh.. No," I replied, as I grew more and more nervous.
"Well, aren't you happy for me?" he replied.
"Yes. Yes, of course I am," I said. I tried to smile. I really did. But something stopped me.
"Well, that's the good news," he said and smiled. "But then there's the bad news." His smile disappeared from his face. "The zoo is on New Zealand." My stomach turned. I felt old food making their way up to my throat, as I threw up. Threw up over Tom's new painted floor.
"Oh my God, I'm.. I'm so sorry," I said, shaking. Yes it happened. It happened I was so nervous that I actually threw up.
"It's okay, Joe, just sit tight, I'll clean that up."
"No, no, let me," I replied, but he'd already gone to fetch mop and water. I sat back down on the sofa, and started thinking. But if Tom was going to New Zealand..
"Here," he said. "Move your legs." I did what he said. He finished mopping, and sat down again.
"Where was I?"
"You were going to New Zealand.." I replied. I didn't finish. I knew what was coming, and I sure as hell didn't like it.
"You know what that means right?" he said, trying to have eye contact with me, but I couldn't look at him. Not now. Instead, I looked at my pants. They were black. Black, and beaten.
"Joey?" I didn't reply.
"Billie?" I still didn't reply.
"Billie J.."
"Would you just fuck off! Please..?" I replied, cutting him off. He didn't reply.
"I was hoping that.. We could still be pals?" he said instead. I nodded.
"Yeah, sure. Look, if you don't mind, I.. I mean, we, me mum and the twins, we are going to visit Glen's parents tonight, so I have to go," I said, standing up. He knew I was lying, but I didn't care right there and then. I threw on my shoes, and was about to leave, before Tom stopped me.
"Joey.."
"Don't touch me, okey? I'm in a hurry," I replied, and ran out the door. I ran, and ran, leaving Tom alone in his house. How could he do that to me? He knew I needed him. He knew about Glen. And he just left me alone. I hated him. Hated! I finally stood in front of the door at home. Not wanting to go in there, being alone with Glen, I forced my feet to step in, and I forced my hand to shut the door after me. Glen was sitting in the sofa, watching TV.
"Hi babe," he said without looking at me. I looked at him in disgust, un tieing my shoes.
"What's wrong kiddo?" he said, looking at my face which was swollen up with tears. "You wanna.. Talk about it?" he spoke again, looking up and down my body.
"Do me a favor Glen. Fuck off," I replied. He laughed. I knew he'd follow me upstairs sooner or later, but right there and then I didn't give a damn. I entered my room. I needed it. I needed the ecstasy pills.
"Where are you beauties?" I said. I looked in my closet. Not there. I looked under the desk. Not there. Ah. The bed, I remembered. I tripped over a knife, a fork and a plate. "Ouch!" I half screamed. I must've forgotten to go tidy up, after eating dinner. I always ate dinner up in my room, by myself. I made my way to the bed, where the bag of pills luckily was. I sat down on my bed, swallowing pill after pill. Thinking of Glen and.. And Tom. It made me sad. And angry, infact. After many pills, I threw the bag under the bed again, as I cursed both of them names. I stopped, as I heard Glen's steps closer and closer to my door. I looked down, as he entered the room.
"D'ya need some sharing up, Joey?" he said, me not replying. He laughed.
"I knew you did."
"I'm not in the mood Glen," I replied. As if I ever were.
"Do not decline me like that," he said, starting to unzip his pants. I finally looked up to him. He looked at me, and jumped back a bit. He must've seen the anger in my eyes.
"I said, I'm not in the mood," I spoke again. He seemed to relax again.
"Aww, don't speak to me like that," he said, then laughed again. He stepped forward.
"Take one more step.." I said, not finishing.
"And, what?" Glen said, then laughed again. "You'll tell Regina? God, she won't even believe you." He looked shocked, as I gave him an evil grin.
"So what's stopping you then? Come on. Shag me. Shag me, and let her hear you," He grinned, and stepped foreward again, but then I stood up.
"What did I say? Hah? What did I tell you Glen?" I yelled. He looked confused. And.. Scared?
"You told me to.."
"No!" I shouted. "No! I told you not to take another step." He gave me another look, a confused one.
"Get out!"
"How dare you speak to me like that?!" he yelled back, trying to force me down. I quickly looked around my room. I picked up the knife I'd left from dinner, and pointed it against him.
"I said get out!" I yelled. "Get out or I'll kill you I swear it!"
"Joey.. I only meant to.."
"Comfort me?" I laughed. "You can't even comfort yourself. You're so scared of I-don't-know-what that you take it out on an innocent eleven year old, now get out!" I screamed again.
"O..Okay!" he screamed and ran out. I smiled, then heard the knife fall on the floor beside my feet. I'd seen it in his eyes. Fear. Fear for what I might do to him if he didn't listen to what I said. I smiled again. For once, one thing was certain.
Glen was hurting me no more.