You Can Let Go Now

Elizabeth stepped out of the shower, relieved that she was clean. It was cloudy and humid out, she felt nasty when she came in the house from her run. After drying her hair quickly, she quickly put it in a messy bun and found Mckenzie in her room.

“Hey, let's do something today,” she suggested.

“You're not hanging out with Sidney?” McKenzie asked with a hint of sarcasm.

Rolling her eyes, Elizabeth said, “No, he starts training today.”

“So you want to hang out with me because Sidney can't,” Mckenzie said coldly.

“Kenz, you're my best friend. But you work a lot and I'm not saying that's why I don't hang out with you that much, but it is a reason. I agree, I do spend more time with Sidney than I do with you lately. He's just become a very close friend of mine. I'm sorry if you feel betrayed. I want to spend more time with you because I see that I've probably hurt you. I really am sorry,” Elizabeth admitted. She was sick of fighting with her friend about something that seemed so silly.

“Thanks girl, that's all I've wanted this whole time. I miss you!” McKenzie said, smiling.

“I miss you too! I feel like we have so much to catch up on!” Elizabeth said, happy that things were cleared up between them.

“Oh and Liz?” Her friend asked and Elizabeth looked up. “I'm sorry I've been so mean to Sidney. I know he's important to you. I don't really hate him,” McKenzie added.

“It's okay. He'll get over it.”

McKenzie laughed and said, “Anyway! Let's go to the mall today! I desperately need to buy some new clothes, I'm slacking on my style lately.”

“Alright, let me go get ready and we'll leave.”

Elizabeth was glad she spent the day with McKenzie, the longer she hung out with her best friend the more she realized she missed her. It was seven o'clock when they were parking the car in the garage. They were talking about college memories from the previous year and Elizabeth was laughing so hard her stomach hurt and her cheeks were burning. “Oh kenz- you were so drunk! I forgot about that night!”

Her friend bent over and crossed her legs. “Stop! I have to pee!”

McKenzie couldn't hold it in anymore and Elizabeth doubled over from laughter when a big, dark circle appeared on her friend's pants. Tears streamed down the girls faces as they fell to the floor. “You just- oh my- you just-” Elizabeth tried, not finding words.

It took five minutes of non stop giggling before the two friends got control of their emotions and finally made their way out of the garage inside the house.
They were laying on the couch watching hockey when a re-run of the game seven final with the Penguins and the Redwings came on. Ironically, the camera was zoomed in on Sidney Crosby when they turned it on. “There's your lover,” McKenzie stated, giggling.

Elizabeth couldn't help but to smile. “He's not my lover, and shh...the end of this game is amazing. I want to watch.”

There was one minute left and Elizabeth felt nervous even though she knew the ending. The last time she watched this she had been rooting for the Redwings. They were the closer team to her hometown of Chicago Blackhawks and at the time she didn't like the Penguins at all.

But as she got closer to Sidney, she was glad that the Penguins had won. More specifically, Sidney had won. He deserved it – in her opinion – more than anyone. With what happened with his girlfriend and losing the previous year she can't imagine how he would have felt if they lost.

She felt tears well up in her eyes when she saw the Penguins jump on the ice and hug each other. It was pure happiness, that was the best way to describe it. Her eyes were naturally glued to 87 as he clung to his teammate Bill Guerin. Even though there were cameras zoomed in on their faces she could tell it was an emotion, private moment. Both of the men had tears in their eyes for completely different reasons yet shared a similar feeling.

The camera finally moved away after a moment and they were still hugging. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard, “Are you crying?”

She felt a blush creep up on her cheeks as she hastily wiped away her tears. “You are!” Her friend said before she could get a word in.

“I'm sorry I just-”

“You love him.” McKenzie stated,

“Shut up!” Elizabeth said, sick of her friend's joke.

“I'm serious Liz. I know I joke with you a lot about it, but I'm completely serious. A year ago you would have never been crying over a team winning the cup. And it's not because the team won it either, it's because Sidney did. The way you look at him, I can tell. I'm your best friend and I can see that you care about him a lot and you worry over him. Don't lie to me Elizabeth,” McKenzie said, keeping eye contact with her the entire time.

Elizabeth thought for a moment about the subject of conversation. True, he always was on her mind. She constantly wondered what he was doing and if he was feeling okay. It broke her heart when he was upset or feeling down and she always would do anything to cheer him up. His smile was heart warming and she could never not laugh when she heard his high pitched giggle.

Not to mention how attractive he was. His strong arms and abs were what every girl dreamed of. His smile and eyes were not too bad either. She dreamed of running her hands through his soft, dark curls.

“I do,” she admitted, “I do love him. But I can't because I know he doesn't feel the same way. To him, I'm just some new girl he likes to hang out with.”

Sidney rubbed his eyes as he sat at the red light on his way home from training. His first session was earlier this morning and it was always difficult to adjust to the new routine. Plus, his few weeks off with partying and doing nothing hadn't done well for his fitness.

Looking at the clock and seeing it was only 2, Sidney had no idea how he was going to last the rest of the day without a power nap. He heard a beep from the car behind him, signaling him to move. He had a brief flashback of that night but he quickly pushed it to the back of his mind. After looking left and right, he pressed the gas pedal.

When he got home, Sam was waiting for him at the door eager to be outside. Smiling as she licked the window, Sidney opened the door and leaned down to pet his companion. He made a face as she slobbered on his face and then ran outside. Once she went to the bathroom she looked at her owner, expecting him to come play with her.

Grabbing a tennis ball, Sidney whistled for her to go out back. He quickly put some swim trunks on before jogging to the pier, where Sam was panting at him. Throwing the tennis ball a couple of feet out, he watched her jump in and race after it.

He played catch with her for a while before grabbing a raft from his shed and laid on it. Sam jumped on the raft too, causing it to almost tip over for a second before it balanced out. Sidney pet her head as she rested it on his stomach.

These were the rare peaceful moments in his life that he hated and loved at the same time. His life was always on a full schedule during the season. He had no quiet time for himself, but sometimes that was a good thing.

After the accident and the funeral, Sidney was glad that he still had a job to do. He had unfinished business. It allowed his mind to focus on something other than the pain in his heart. His teammates did a good job at understanding and helping him. They offered a good distraction for him and he was forever grateful.

His mind, for whatever reason, loved to obsess over things. That was part of the reason he was so good at hockey, because he focused on details. But it was also a negative trait. The obsessive compulsive part of his brain made it hard for him to let go of his late girlfriend healthily. His compulsive behavior increased since she died; it was his subconscious way of dealing with it. If everything was perfectly set, then nothing bad would happen again.

Deciding his thoughts were going to plummet, Sidney paddled back to the dock and lifted Sam up on it. He followed and grabbed the raft and brought it back to the shed, Sam at his feet. Before he got inside, Sidney ordered, “Shake.”

He stepped back as Sam followed the command and got rid of most of the water on her body. Grabbing a towel from the railing, Sidney dried her off a little more and opened the door.

After showering and changing into shorts, Sidney knew he would need a nap if he wanted to go out later. He climbed into his king sized mattress and patted the bed for Sam to jump up. Making sure his phone was set for an alarm, he closed his eyes and drifted off.