Let You Fall

~~~~~

It started with a girl.

~~~~~

Shayla Miller walked the halls of Huntington High, her heart caught in her throat and her stormy grey eyes threatening to spill over. A deep loneliness filled her small, fragile heart, a loneliness that had haunted her for what seemed like years.

Sure, she was nothing special. Her nose was probably too big, her body wasn’t as curvy as others would like and her hair wasn’t blonde like everyone else’s. Instead, it was the colour of the midnight sky, a deep, dark colour that framed her face like a halo. Her skin was too pale to be normal, and her grey eyes seemed dull against her ivory complexion.

She was a nobody. Just little old Shayla Miller, class room freak and school weirdo.

And she hated every minute of it.

Every taunt, every laugh, every sneer sent her way tore into her tiny heart, ripping it into pieces that could never be replaced. Every word at her expense further intensified the nightmare she was living, made her sink that much further into the hole that swallowed her.

And it was on Thursday, 15th October, 2010, that Shayla Miller decided that she was just too weak.

~~~~~

The cold, icy wind swept across her back, and Shayla dug her hands deeper into her pockets. A shiver crept up the back of her neck, and her dark black hair danced across her face. She licked her cracked lips, her dull eyes trained on the bridge ahead of her, and the task at hand.

She never wanted it to end this way.

When she dreamt of her life, she saw a large, two-storey house, with a vibrant green lawn covered by stray bikes and toys. She saw the grinning faces of her children, she saw the adoring face of her husband and she saw happiness.

She saw love. She saw herself smiling.

That wasn’t how it was.

As Shayla drew closer to the top of the bridge, she felt a stray, lone tear dribble down her pale cheek, dropping carelessly onto the pavement under her feet.

The tear wasn’t because she didn’t want to do it.

It was because she realized that no one would care if she did.

She desperately tried to stop the sob from escaping her throat, and she gently closed her eyes, blocking out the images of racing cars and the lonely streets. She allowed the wind to sweep over her body, and for a minute, she pretended it was them, pushing her towards her end. It was what they wanted, anyway.

It was what she wanted.

…Wasn’t it?

Her eyes snapped open, and suddenly, everything came flooding in; the lights, the roaring sounds and the image of the bridge that was drawing closer. She was nearing her end. She was nearing her peace.

The seconds seemed to go slowly as she walked up to the railing, placing her hands gently on the edge. The metal felt cool against her skin; almost refreshing, and she let her mind drift with the wind that clawed at her back.

She lifted a leg onto the edge, then the other, slowly pulling herself up so that she was standing on top of the railing. Her grey eyes swept across the churning oceans below, and she felt her breath become caught in her throat.

Was she strong enough?

She closed her eyes, picturing their faces, their taunts.

’What the heck is wrong with you? Freak!’

A tear.

’You’re such a wannabe emo.’

Another.

’Go home and cut yourself, nobody would care anyway.’

One more.

’You’re such a waste of space, cutter.’

Finally, a smile.

She was ready.

She opened her eyes, suddenly started by how far away the water seemed. Her heart began to race within her chest, her tightly clenched hands beginning to swim with beads of sweat. Her thoughts were clouding her mind, both her doubts and the shout telling her to jump causing her to feel faint.

‘Are you going to do it?’

Jerking slightly at the sound, she turned around to see an older boy standing there, his brown orbs staring unwaveringly into hers. He had spiky dark hair, errant strands clouding his face, and his body was well built and muscular. Unlike her, his skin was the colour of light caramel, but his chocolate orbs were what got to her the most.

They were beautiful.

The boy tilted his head to the side slowly, raising his eyebrows. ‘If you’re going to do it, jump already. You’re wasting precious jumping space,’ he said bluntly, a smirk playing on his lips.

Her eyebrows rose in shock, silently wondering what to make of him. ‘You want to jump too?’ Her voice displayed that she didn’t believe it.

To her surprise he let out a deep, throaty laugh, tilting his head back to the sky. ‘Fuck no! My life’s amazing! I just mean that there are other people out there that probably want to die more than you. And let’s face it; you probably don’t have to worst life.’ He stopped to run his eyes over her, his smirk only intensifying. ‘Let me guess; bullying problems?’

She narrowed her gaze at him, angered by his accusations. ‘It’s a lot worse than that,’ she said, her voice coming out slightly softer than she had intended.

His mouth was in a thin line as he nodded, glancing back into the night sky. ‘You going to do it, or what?’ he asked gruffly, looking at her expectantly.

She felt a tear run down her face as she looked away, staring down into the swirling depths of the water beneath her.

And let’s face it; you probably don’t have to worst life.

Damn it, why did she always have to be weak?

She shook her head slowly, the tears beginning to stream down faster. ‘No,’ she uttered quietly, shaking her head more vigorously.

She heard him come up behind her and she turned to see his chocolate eyes staring into hers, only inches away. She flinched back, letting out a gasp as she began to fall, only to feel his large hand pull her backwards. ‘Whoa there, careful,’ he said quietly, helping her onto the ground.

Her body shook as she stepped onto the ground, sniffling softly to stop the tears escaping. Moments of silence passed before she finally looked up, to find that his eyes had never left hers.

He held out a hand, a small smile sitting on his face. ‘Brian Haner Jr, and you are?’

She frowned at him and hesitantly placed her hand in his, startled by the differing colors. ‘Shayla Miller,’ she said quietly, the corners of her mouth lifting up slightly.

She felt something being placed in her hand before he pulled away. He nodded his head slowly and sent her a smile before turning around, and walking away.

She wanted to call after him, but something stopped her. Maybe it was meant to be like that, just a meeting.

But in a way, he had saved her life.

Suddenly realising that something was in it, she looked down at her hand, frowning when she saw a small piece of paper. With shaking fingers she opened it, reading carefully what it said.

24 Oakwood Way, Huntington Beach.

Just an address.

Frowning, her heart racing erratically in her chest, she put it in her pocket.

~~~~~

Weeks passed, and she never saw him again. Of course, he was continuously on her mind, his chocolate orbs haunting her dreams.

Suddenly the taunts didn’t mean as much.

Suddenly, she felt a tiny bit stronger.

It was almost a month later the she found the paper in her pocket, when she was going through her stuff. She felt a smile flutter onto her face as she remembered him, and although everything but his name was a mystery, she knew that she wanted to find him.

The walk to the address almost seemed harder than the last one.

She didn’t know for sure that was where he lived, but she hoped. She prayed that it wasn’t just an address to the nearest Psychiatrist, although, she wouldn’t put it past him.

Time seemed to stop as she walked down his driveway, nearing closer to his door. Her heart seemed almost ready to break out of her chest, and she had to clench her hands in fists to stop herself from shaking.

She lifted her hand up to knock, but quickly pulled away. What if he didn’t want to see her? What if it was a joke? Why should she trust him?

But she knocked. With her hopes high, she knocked.

The door swung open and there he stood, his brown hair spiked to perfection, those familiar brown eyes staring at her face. She could have sworn that she saw relief flash through his eyes, although, if it had it was gone as quick as it appeared. The corners of his mouth tilted up, not in a smirk, but a smile.

But still, he humored her. Leaning casually against the door frame, his smile lifted into the familiar smirk. ‘Yes?’ he drawled, his eyes clouded with amusement.

‘Hello Brian,’ she said quietly, a blush filling her cheeks.

He grinned, stepping away from the door. ‘I’m guessing you haven’t thrown yourself off the bridge yet, Shayla,’ he said loudly, his tone not conveying whether he was teasing her or not.

She could only nod, feeling herself becoming weak again.

‘Come on in,’ he said, his beautiful brown eyes catching hers.

~~~~~

Her visits became more regular.

They would spend hours together, just in each other’s company. He would play his guitar for her and sing for her, and they would swap stories about their days. They laughed together, smiled together; did everything together that she had never done.

He was no longer the stranger with the hauntingly beautiful eyes, the one daring her to jump off the bridge, and instead he had turned into something amazing.

Her friend.

He let her cry. He let her laugh. He let her do all of the things she had never been able to do with someone before, all the things she’d wanted. He wasn’t her Prince Charming, but he was close. He was Brian Haner Jr, the person that saved her, the person that made her enjoy life. He was her savior.

But one day, the taunts got too much, and somehow, he just wasn’t enough.

~~~~~

With teary eyes, Shayla Miller walked along the sidewalk, her dark hair framing her face. Her pale hands were buried deep within her pockets, small sobs escaping her mouth.

She couldn’t do it anymore. Doubts were clouding her mind, doubts implanted by those around her, doubts that made her unsure of the life she was living. Did he care for her? Did anyone care for her?

She neared the bridge, the tears beginning to fall faster. She walked over to the rail, feeling the similar sting as the icy cold metal met her skin. Taking in a deep breath, she pulled herself up, her hands shaking as she worked.

This time, she didn’t remember their taunts, her tears and her pain. She remembered him.

’Don’t worry about what they say, babe. You’re beautiful. They’re just too dumb to see it.’

A smile.

’Fuck them! Fuck them all! You’re the best chick I’ve met, Shay, seriously. You’re amazing.’

Another.

’Don’t lie to yourself, Shayla. You know you love it. Every single second.’

One more.

‘Don’t do it!’

Her eyes snapped open, and she saw him running towards her, a pained expression on his face. ‘Please Shay, please don’t do it,’ he shouted, his footsteps echoing across the hard ground.

She tore her eyes away from his haunting eyes and looked away, refusing to succumb to the pain that engulfed her. ‘I’ve got nothing to live for,’ she shouted back at him, tears falling down her face. ‘I just don’t.’

He was coming closer. She had to do it. ‘Yes you do!’ he called back, his voice breaking with desperation.

She shook her head, tears streaming silently down her face. ‘What?’ she breathed quietly, pulling herself up higher.

She felt an arm on her shoulder, and her eyes fluttered open in shock, immediately meeting his. They were swarming with fear, sadness and compassion as he looked at her, and she could see the tears pooling in the corners of his gorgeous eyes. He cupped her face in his hands, staring into her grey eyes unwaveringly. ‘Me,’ he whispered, and pulled her lips against his passionately.

~~~~~

It ended with a forever.

~~~~~~